Лорен Донер - Smiley

They smiled at each other.

Beth spoke first. “Tell me your deepest, darkest secret and I’ll tell you mine.”

It was a game they used to play. Vanni licked her lips and said the first thing that came to mind. “I really liked Smiley.”

“Oh hon.”

“He was so sweet, Beth.” Tears filled her eyes. “He should have been pissed, thinking I drugged him, but he wasn’t. I was scared and in pain but he took care of me. I didn’t have to have sex with him but I wanted to. I initiated it.”

“He was hot, wasn’t he?”

Vanni wiped away her tears. “Very hot.”

“I knew it. Was he good in bed?”

“The best.”

“Did you fall a little for him?”

“Probably.”

Beth lay down and curled on her side, holding her gaze. “Do you wish you could see him again?”

Vanni wasn’t sure how to answer.

“It’s okay if you do. I won’t judge. You know that about me. He sounds amazing, besides how you met, I mean.”

“I don’t think he’d ever want to see me again.”

“You can’t be sure unless we try to contact him.”

“No. I need to forget this night ever happened and get on with my life. It’s your turn. Tell me your deepest, darkest secret.”

It took long seconds for her to answer. “I really hated Carl.”

Vanni smiled. “I knew that.”

“Listen to your best friend next time. That’s all I ask.”

“Deal.”

“Sleep. I’m right here. You’re home. It’s going to be fine.”

Vanni closed her eyes but all she could think about was Smiley. She hoped he was okay, wherever he was.

* * * * *

Smiley entered his apartment at the men’s dorm and locked the door. The drug had passed through his system. His dick no longer ached from a constant erection and he had worked out his aggression on a punching bag. The silence inside his corner apartment was absolute. The male who lived next to him had gone to Reservation and the one across the hall had taken a mate. They now lived together in another section of Homeland.

He grabbed a cold drink from the fridge but stared at the cherry soda in his hand. It reminded him of Vanni. He put it back and removed a bottle of water instead. He drank half of it and walked to the balcony. He didn’t open the door or step outside, just stood there staring into the darkness.

Vanni was somewhere out there. He considered the constant worry for her to be a form of torture. The cell phone he’d taken from Security on his way home sat heavily in his pocket. They’d promised to call him if they found her. It remained as quiet as his surroundings.

He put his open hand on the glass. “Where are you, babe?”

He spun away, pacing the carpet in front of the couch. They hadn’t known each other long but all he could think about was Vanni. Her image seemed permanently imprinted on his thoughts. He’d showered and changed clothes but he could still smell her.

A soft knock was welcome and he lunged toward the door, twisted the locks and swung it open. It was possible they hadn’t wanted to call if the news was bad. They’d want to tell him in person but it wasn’t an on-duty officer who stood there.

“Hi, Jericho.”

“I heard what happened. May I come in?”

It beat being alone. “Sure.” He stepped aside. “I’m fine.”

The male closed the door and leaned against it. “Would you say otherwise?”

That comment surprised him. “The drug is out of my system.”

“It must have left you with a lot of difficult memories.”

“It wasn’t that bad. I mean, I remember it all and the pain didn’t come close to what it could have been.”

Jericho rumbled deep in his chest. “You and I are different from the rest.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Yes, you do.” He tilted his head. “We keep our emotions closer to the surface. I’m better at hiding it than you are. Your feelings show in your eyes. You appear sad. That’s unusual for you. This does affect you. Talk to me.”

Smiley hesitated. “I’m worried about her.”

“The female who drugged you?”

“She said she didn’t.”

“The team stated otherwise in their report. Are you certain she wasn’t responsible?”

“No but I’m sure she didn’t know what was going to happen.”

“How?”

“I saw the fear in her eyes. The shock.” Smiley ran his fingers through his hair and began pacing again. It helped. “She had no idea what was about to happen to us.”

“Perhaps not to what extent.”

That halted him in his tracks. “What do you mean by that?”

“The team is certain she dosed both drinks. She had no form of identity. There was only a room key from the hotel. Don’t you find that suspicious? Humans always carry ID, especially to a human bar. She also didn’t have a room in her name but her key card was registered to a room that was paid for by the Woods Church. We’ve been dealing with them for a while. They aren’t our friends.”

He couldn’t deny that the evidence seemed damning. “Maybe she was pushed into it somehow. Forced.”

“You shared sex with her and remember the details so I imagine it was intense.”

Smiley didn’t like where the conversation was headed. “You believe I might feel a protective bond to her because of the extreme physical responses?”

“You did threaten team members with harm when they attempted to examine her. You also refused direct orders from Brass when he was willing to knock her unconscious to transport her here. You really wanted that female.”

“Because I was drugged.”

“You stated you were in control at the time. Which is it?”

Anger stirred. “Did you come here to argue with me?”

“No. I came to talk to you because I’m concerned.”

Smiley calmed and dropped onto the couch. He placed the water bottle down on the side table. “Sit if you plan to stay.”

Jericho chose to sit in the chair opposite him. “I don’t want your feelings hurt because this wasn’t directed toward you. You were the only Species in that bar and that’s why you were the target. Tell me you understand that.”

“I do.”

Jericho regarded him with his red-hued brown eyes.

“I do,” Smiley repeated. “It could have happened to anyone.”

“The canines would have smelled the drug in the drink.”

He clenched his hands in his lap.

“That’s not your fault. Their sense of smell is just better. That’s genetics.”

“Why bring it up?”

“I’d be thinking that, partially blaming myself for making an easy target. I am trying to put myself in your shoes. We’re not the weakest Species here. I also think about that sometimes.”

“You have gorilla DNA. I’m probably from a chimpanzee.”

“They can be vicious creatures.”

Smiley snorted.

“They are. Do your research. They are very territorial and are good fighters.”

“I don’t have inadequacy issues, head shrink.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear that. We have our advantages over the canines and felines.”

“We are better climbers, although I envy the felines for their ability to leap.”

“Don’t make light of this,” Jericho grumbled.

Smiley sighed. “We’re all Species. We’re family. I never take the time to really ponder our differences.”

“You should right now. We tend to be more emotional, the way humans are. We grow attachments faster. I’ll be blunt.”

“I wish you would be.”

“The only females you and I share sex with are canine or feline. They have told me how I’m different and I’d bet they do the same with you. We need more than just sex. It’s about the touching and the sense of the bond we share with them during intimate moments. I’ve avoided humans for that very reason. You probably do the same.”