Robert Asprin - Tales From The Vulgar Unicorn

'How do you know that?'

'I know.'

They walked silently for a while. Then he sighed, and said, 'We'll get bitten. That is certain. Only ... all the spiders that will bite us - I hope so, anyway - won't be real spiders. They'll be products of the mage's magic. Apparitions. But apparitions that can kill you just as quickly or as slowly and usually as painfully as the real spiders.'

He paused, then said, 'Benna probably died from their bites.'

Masha felt as if she were turning white under her dark skin. She put her hands on his arm.

'But ... but...!'

'Yes, I know. If the spiders were not real, then why should they harm him? That is because he thought they were real. His mind did the rest to him.'

She didn't like that she couldn't keep her voice from shaking, but she couldn't help it.

'How can you tell which is real and which magical?'

'In the daylight the unreal spiders look a little transparent. By that I mean that if they stand still, you can see dimly through them. But then they don't stand still much. And we'll be in the dark of night. So...

'Look here, Masha. You have to be strong stuff to go there. You have to overcome your fear. A person who lets fear conquer him or her is going to die even if he knows that the spider is unreal. He'll make the sting of the bite himself and the effects of the venom. And he'll kill himself. I've seen it happen in my native land.'

' But you say that we might get bitten by a real spider. How can I tell which is which in the dark?'

'It's a problem.'

He added after a few seconds, 'The ointment should repulse most of the real spiders. Maybe, if we're lucky. You see, we have an advantage that Benna didn't have. I know what faces us because I come from the mage's land. His true name is Kemren, and he brought with him the real spiders and some other equally dangerous creatures. They would have been in some of the boxes. I am prepared for them, and so will you be. Benna wasn't, and any of these Sanctuary thieves will get the same fate.'

Masha asked why Kemren had come here. Smhee chewed on his lower lip for a while before answering. ••

'You may as well know it all. Kemren was a priest of the goddess Weda Krizhtawn of the island of Sharranpip. That is far east and south of here, though you may have heard of it. We are a people of the water, of lakes, rivers, and the sea. Weda Krizhtawn is the chief goddess of water, and she has a mighty temple with many treasures near the sea.

'Kemren was one of the higher priests, and he served her well for years. In return, he was admitted into the inner circle of mages and taught both black and white magic. Though, actually, there is little difference between the two branches, the main distinction being whether the magician uses his powers for good or evil.

'And it isn't always easy to tell what is good and what is evil. If a mage makes a mistake, and his use turns out to be for evil, even if he sincerely thought it was for good, then there is a ... backlash. And the mage's character becomes changed for the worse in proportion to the amount of magical energy used.'

He stopped walking.

'We're opposite the isle now.'

It wasn't visible from the road. The plain sloped upwards from the road, becoming a high ridge near the river. The tall spreading blackish hukharran bush grew on top of it. They walked the horses up the ridge, where they hobbled them near a pool of rainwater. The beasts began cropping the long brownish grass that grew among the bushes.

The isle was in the centre of the lake and seemed to be composed mostly of a purplish rock. It sloped gently from the shore until near the middle, where a series of peculiar formations formed a spine. The highest prominence was a monolith perforated near its top as if a tunnel had been carved through it.

'The camel's eye Benna spoke of,' Smhee said. 'Over there is the formation known as the ape's head, and at the other end is that which the natives call the dragon's tail.'

On the edge of the isle grew some trees, and in the waters by it were the ubiquitous tall reeds.

There was no sight or sound of life on it. Even the birds seemed to shun it.

'But I floated down past it at night several times,' he said, 'and I could hear the lowing of some cattle and the braying of a donkey. Also, I heard a weird call, but I don't know if it was from a bird or an animal. And I heard a peculiar grunting sound, but it wasn't from pigs.'

'That camel's eye looks like a good place for a sentry,' she said. 'I got the impression from Benna that that is where he entered the caves. It must've been a very dangerous climb, especially during the dark.'

'Benna was a good man,' Smhee said. 'But he wasn't prepared enough. There are eyes watching now. Probably through holes in the rocks. From what I heard, the mage had his servants buy a number of excavating tools. He would have used them to enlarge the caves and to make tunnels to connect the caves.' She took a final look in the sunlight at the sinister purple mass and turned away.

9

Night had come. The winds had died down. The sky was cloudy, but the covering was thin. The full moon glowed through some of these, and now and then broke through. The nightbirds made crazy startling sounds. The mosquitoes hummed around them in dense masses, and if it hadn't been for Smhee's ointment would have driven them out of the trees within a few minutes. Frogs croaked in vast chorus; things plopped into the water.

They shoved the boat out to the edge of the reeds and climbed in. They wore their cloaks now but would take them off when they got to the isle. Masha's weapons were a dagger and a short thin sword used for thrusting only.

They paddled silently as possible, the current helping their rate of speed, and presently the isle loomed darkly to their right. They landed halfway down the eastern shore and dragged the dugout slowly to the nearest tree.

They put their cloaks in the boat, and Masha placed a coil of rope over her shoulder and neck.

The isle was quiet. Not a sound. Then came a strange grunting cry followed by a half-moaning, half-squalling sound. Her neck iced.

'Whatever that is,' Smhee said, 'it's no spider.'

He chuckled as if he were making a joke.

They'd decided - what else could they do? - that the camel's eye would be too heavily guarded after Benna's entrance through it. But there had to be more accessible places to get in. These would be guarded, too, especially since they must have been made more security-conscious by the young thief.

'What I'd like to find is a secret exit,' Smhee said. 'Kemren must have one, perhaps more. He knows that there might come a time when he'll be sorely in need of it. He's a crafty bastard.'

Before they'd taken the boat, Smhee had revealed that Kemren had fled Sharranpip with many of the temple's treasures. He had also taken along spiders' eggs and some of the temple's animal guardians.

'If he was a high priest,' Masha had said, 'why would he do that? Didn't he have power and wealth enough?'

'You don't understand our religion,' the fat thief had said. 'The priests are surrounded by treasures that would pop your eyes out of their sockets if you saw them. But the priests themselves are bound by vows to extreme poverty, to chastity, to a harsh bare life. Their reward is the satisfaction of serving Weda Krizhtawn and her people. It wasn't enough for Kemren. He must have become evil while performing some magic that went wrong. He is the first priest ever to commit such a blasphemy.

'And I, a minor priest, was selected to track him down and to make him pay for his crime. I've been looking for him for thirteen years. During that time, to effect the vengeance of Weda Krizhtawn, I have had to break some of my own vows and to commit crimes which I must pay for when I return to my land.'