Christopher Stasheff - The Warlock Unlocked

“Amen!”

And the ice was broken.

The Abbot laid both palms flat on the table. “Yet now, I fear, we must turn to weighty matters.”

Rod felt the temperature lowering noticeably.

The Abbot drew a rolled parchment from his robe, and handed it to Tuan. “It is with sorrow, and all respect, that I must present this petition to Your Majesties.”

Tuan accepted the parchment, and unrolled it between himself and Catharine. The Queen glanced at it, and gasped in horror. She turned a thunderous face to the Abbot.

“Surely, Milord, thou canst not believe the Crown could countenance such demands!”

The Abbot’s jaw tightened, and he took a breath.

Rod plunged in. “Uh, how’s that phrased, Your Majesty?”

“ ‘In respect of our obligations to the State and Your Majesties,’ ” Tuan read, “ ‘we strongly advise…’ ”

“Well, there you are.” Rod sat back, waving a hand. “It’s just advice, not demands.”

The Abbot looked up at him, startled.

Catharine’s lips tightened. “If the Crown feels the need of advice…”

“Uh, by your leave, Your Majesty.” Rod sat forward again. “I fear I lack familiarity with the issues under discussion; could you read some more of it?”

“ ‘Primus,’ ” Tuan read, “ ‘we have painfully noted Your Majesties’ encroachment upon the authority of Holy Mother Church in the matter of appointment of…’ ”

“I see. There, then, is the substance of the case.” Rod leaned back, holding up a forefinger. “I beg your indulgence, Your Majesties; please excuse the interruption, but I believe we really should settle this issue at the outset. Authority would seem to be the problem. Now, the people need the Church, but also need a strong civil government; the difficulty is in making the two work together, is it not? For example…” Rod took a quick look at the parchment for form’s sake, and plowed on. “For example, this item about administering of aid to the poor. What fault find you in the Crown’s management of such aid, my lord?”

“Why… in that…” Rod could almost hear the Abbot’s mind shifting gears; he’d been all set for a hot debate about appointment of clergy. “Why, in that, quite plainly and simply, there is too little of it! That is the substance of it!”

“Ah.” Rod nodded, with a commiserating glance at Tuan. “So we come down to money, so quickly.”

They hadn’t, but Tuan picked up a cue well. “Aye, so soon as that. We are giving all that the Crown can spare, Lord Abbot—and a bit more besides; we do not keep great state here, the Queen and I.”

“I know thou dost not.” The Abbot looked troubled. “And there is the cause of it. We do not feel we should eat off gold plate, if our people go hungry. Yet they do go in hunger, for there’s simply not enough coin flowing to the Crown, for us to be able to channel back more than we do.”

“Thou couldst levy greater taxes,” the Abbot offered, half-heartedly.

Tuan shook his head. “Firstly, an’ we did, the barons upon whom we levy it would simply wrench it out of their villeins, who are the same poor we speak of here; and secondly, because, if the barons did not, the villeins would rise in rebellion. No, Milord Abbot—the taxes are already as high as we may push them.”

“For example,” said Catharine sweetly, “thou thyself, Lord Abbot, would be first to protest if we levied a tax on all the vast lands of the Church!”

“And little would you gain thereby,” the Abbot declared stiffly. “The Order’s holdings are scarcely a fortieth part of thy whole kingdom!”

“Datum correct,” Fess immediately hummed behind Rod’s ear. And if Fess said it, it had to be right—statistics were his hobby.

But it struck Rod as anomalous, that a medieval administrator could be so accurate, without being able to consult the State’s records.

“Many of thy barons hold more!” the Abbot went on. “And of our income from those lands, the bulk is already given out to the poor—so thou wouldst gain quite little by taxing us! Excepting, mayhap,” he amended, “that thou mightest, thereby, take even more from the poor!”

“You see?” Rod threw up his hands. “The well’s dry; you’ve said it yourself.”

The Abbot looked up, startled, then realized that he had.

“And if both Church and State are already giving all they can,” Rod pursued, “what more can we do?”

“Put the administration of what funds there are under one single exchequer,” the Abbot said promptly; and Rod’s stomach sank as he realized he’d lost the initiative. “Two whole trains of people are currently employed in the disbursing of these funds, and the upshot is, a village I know has two poorhouses, one a hospice of our Order, one paid by the Crown—and there are scarcely twenty souls who need either! Such doubling is costly. Moreover, if only one staff worked at this task, the others’ pay could go to the poor—and since the Brothers of St. Vidicon do this work for only meager bed and board, assuredly ours would be the less expensive staff to maintain!”

Rod sat, dumfounded. Of course, it was possible that the Lord Abbot had hit on this idea by himself—but Rod doubted it.

“Subject refers to duplication of effort,” Fess murmured behind his ear, “a concept in systems analysis. Such concepts are far too sophisticated for a medieval society. Off-planet influence must be suspected.”

Or time-traveller influence. Who was sticking a finger in the Gramarye pie this time, Rod wondered—the future Anarchists, or the Totalitarians?

Probably the Anarchists; they tended to work on highly-placed officials. Though there was a proletarian issue here…

He’d paused too long. Catharine was saying, caustically, “Aye, leave an hundred or so loyal servants without employment, and their wives and families without bread! Thou wilt thus assure thyself of good custom at thine almshouses, Lord Abbot!”

The Lord Abbot’s face reddened; it was time for Rod to get back in. “Surely neither system is perfect, Lord Abbot. But, with two operating, what the one misses, the other catches.” Had he heard of redundancy ? “For example, does the Church still divide its charity-money equally, between all the parishes?”

“Aye.” The Abbot nodded, frowning. “That which the parish itself doth not raise.”

“But parishes in Runnymede have a much greater proportion of desperately needy than the rural parishes,” Rod explained.

The Abbot blinked, and stared, wide-eyed.

“I don’t think the parish priests have even had time to notice it, they’re so overworked.” Rod was a great one for saving the other guy’s face. “But the King’s almshouses are there, giving these poor parishioners at least enough for bare subsistence. That’s the advantage to having two systems—and the disadvantage to only having one. Who then would catch what the officers missed?”

He’d gone on long enough for the Abbot to recover. “There’s some truth in that,” he admitted. “But surely, if there are to be two systems, at least each one should be self-governing. Would it not work at its best that way?”

Rod glanced at the Queen and King. Catharine was considering it—and didn’t seem disposed to commit herself.

“Aye,” Tuan said slowly, “I confess there’s reason to that.”

“But mine cannot be so!” The Abbot slapped the tabletop and sat back with an air of triumph, obviously pleased with himself for having gotten them back to the topic they hadn’t wanted to discuss—and with such a good case for it, too.

“No—it really can’t, I suppose.” As far as Rod was concerned, the timing was just right.