Terry Pratchett - The Dark Side of the Sun

'And there was something else...' said the robot. He patted his carry-all, and felt around behind his chestplate. 'Sorry for the delay, you know how it is, thing wanted never there. Ah, here.'

Dom caught the small grey sphere before he could stop himself. It was warm. Ways watched him closely.

'That is a matrix engine without a coil,' he said. 'By now it should have blown your head off. Crude, I know.'

Dom hurled the globe over the nearest wall. It sparkled briefly under the light of the Chains before landing with a thud in the next avenue. Then Ways cannoned into him.

The robot had weight behind him. Dom rolled backwards and tried to throw his attacker, and had to jerk aside as a fist struck the Maze floor by his ear. The blow split the artificial skin. Ways turned the punch into a sideswipe, and a fingertip scored a cut across the boy's head.

Ig erupted straight for the eyes. Ways brushed him off lightly, and leapt back, flexing his fingers.

'I refuse to believe in invulnerability,' he said. 'Let's get down to the real thing.'

The matrix engine exploded. The Maze thumped.

Ways was picked up like a doll and hurled at the wall, one flailing leg catching Dom across the chest.

And a long way overhead a ship was coming in to land.

On Laoth they cultivate with a screwdriver.

Galactic Miscellany

Hark to the crash of the leaves in the autumn, the smash of the crystal leaves.

Charles Sub-Lunar, Planetary Haiku

The bed was a relic, an ornate black affair that bore all the markings of the Taminic-P'ing Dynasty. Dom stared through thinning blue mists at the rest of the room.

He was in a treasure house. Or it may have been a museum. Someone had ferried furniture and ornaments across the galaxy and dumped them there with no regard for style and period. Memory tapestries hung from two of the walls, where forgotten heroes re-enacted pages from history like an ever-repeating recording. A set of tstame men in ceremonial costume stood stiffly to attention on a board set in a giant cultured ruby. There was a water sculpture, inactive, which lay in a pool at the bottom of its tank, and an Early Chrome display case displaying several pieces of bootlegged Phnobic temple pottery. Where the walls were free of tapestries they were hung with purple drapes.

Dom pictured the severely practical home domes on Widdershins. The only ornamentation really encouraged was the Sadhim logo and perhaps the One Commandment, suitably framed. Even electricity was allowed to come no further than the kitchen. And the Sabalos family was rich - so rich, in fact, that it could afford the simple life. Whoever owned this room was either poorer or would make them look like paupers.

He felt something warm by his ear, and turned to find Ig curled up in the sleeping field. The creature opened one eye and purred.

Dom swung himself clumsily out of the bed's field and landed clumsily. The gravity was fractionally higher than Widdershins.

He drew aside a curtain and saw a sun, flattened by refraction, dipping below a rugged horizon. It was an anaemic red. And something small flew jerkily past the window, found an open section and flittered in. Dom saw the metallic sheen of its wings as it hovered around the light, and the haze of its tiny airscrew. It was a Laoth moth. The sun out there was Tau Ceti, and it was setting pale because the atmosphere was almost dust-free. He felt pleased with himself.

The bronze doors at the far end of the room swung open, and Isaac walked in.

'Hi, boss,' he said wearily. 'How do you feel?'

'My chest feels like someone's been sticking pokers in it,' said Dom, ruefully. 'The last I remember I was on Minos.'

'That's right. We found you at the entrance to the Maze with your chest half caved in. That Ig was keening fit to bust.'

Dom sat down. 'At the entrance to the Maze? How did I get there? Hey - did you look in the centre?'

The robot nodded. 'Sure, but our centres, if you see what I mean. Another attempt, huh?' Dom told him.

Isaac said: 'Your grandmother arrived not long after. Hrsh-Hgn and I thought well, you were dying, and the Drunk is a fast ship.'

'Yes, okay. But this isn't Widdershins.'

'She stopped off here so you could get treatment. Those googoo bodies aren't infinitely self-repairing.'

'Of course, this is your home, isn't it?'

Isaac stiffened. 'I am a citizen of the galaxy, boss. Yes, this is the old place. Workship Three, Factory Complex Nineteen, that's where I sprang from.' He looked round the room. 'Mind you, we never got to see the inside of this place. Between ourselves, I don't like it. Do you know I'm the only 'bot in the place?'

'Knock it off, there must be servants!' said Dom, looking for some clothes.

'Sure. Humans. I tell no lie, sahib.'

Dom gaped at him.

'And one of them called me "sir"! In my cube, any human who calls a robot "sir" is due for a bunch of knuckles.'

'Cool down and find me some clothes. I want to see this place before it vanishes,' said Dom.

They walked out of the room and along a broad, deep-carpeted corridor. Isaac led the way through several large, over-furnished halls until they reached a pair of silvered doors. Two men in brown and gold livery opened the doors hurriedly and stood to attention as they passed through; Dom heard a mechanical growl in Isaac's throat.

A circular table with a central well filled the room. Dom's gaze first caught Joan; she dominated the room, as usual, in a long midnight-purple dress and a black wig that matched her skin. She smiled faintly. Next to her was a tall, fat man, built almost on Drosk lines; Dom recognized him as the Emperor Ptarmigan. Next to him was Keja, even at this moment rising from her seat before racing round the table to embrace Dom. By her sat a boy about Dom's age, regarding him thoughtfully. The rest of the table was made up of the usual run of Board directors and senior planetary management.

Keja embraced Dom and kissed him.

'I knew you'd turn up here! Dom, you're green ...' she gasped. 'Have you been fishing?'

'Sort of,' he said.

'Come and join us, we were just starting dinner. Tarli, could you move along? If you crush up a bit Isaac can find room, too,' she added brightly.

'Sure,' said the boy, grinning at Dom.

'Me, madam? Dine with humans?' said Isaac coldly, gazing fixedly at the liveried men standing behind the diners.

'Don't be embarrassed - we're all one big integrated circuit here,' said Keja.

Dom leaned close to the robot and murmured: 'Sit down and look pleasant or I will personally disassemble you with nails, teeth and toes.'

Dom ended up sitting between the Emperor, who greeted him politely before turning back to Joan, and Keja. Many of the diners were watching Dom with frank disbelief . There were several phnobes around the table, with Hrsh-Hgn hissing amicably to a very important looking alpha-male.

'Do you always dine like this?' he asked.

'Oh, yes,' said Keja, 'Ptarmigan prefers to have people where he can see them.' She raised a finger and the waiters moved forward.

'Uh, Keja, how long have I been here?'

'Since yesterday night. You're famous, little brother. According to Ptarmigan half the galaxy is out looking for you. You're supposed to be leading us all to Jokers World. What do you think we'll find there?'

'On present showing, a damn great bomb.' He saw her flinch. 'Sorry, I didn't mean that. Famous, eh?'

'There's a dozen ships in orbit, most of them Terra Novaean and Whole Erse. More turn up every hour. Ptarmigan is very angry about it. I haven't quite understood it all, but I gather that everyone wants to kidnap you. Is it true that you'll discover Jokers World in five days' time, whatever happens?'