Carol Berg - THE SOUL WEAVER

Those seated on the balcony had been nodding solemnly all during Karon’s words, but now several of them began to shift uneasily. Old Ustele leaned toward Men’Thor, poking at his son’s chest while he whispered in his ear. But Men’Thor pushed the old man’s hand away and arranged his robes to his liking once again, looking as if he were already breathing the rarefied air of royalty.

Karon took no note of those behind him. “When my day is over and a new Heir must take my place, his hand will guide you with wisdom and serve you with grace, and he will lead you to the renewal, not only of the Wastes, but of yourselves. Thus from all of us, not from the Heir alone, will come the power to maintain D’Arnath’s Bridge and restore our world. From midnight tonight will my successor stand alone in vigil at the Bridge, and at dawn tomorrow will he be invested with the knowledge of the Heir, to hold in trust until such time as I can no longer serve. On this night, in the presence of the host of Avonar, do I, D’Natheil, the only legitimate Heir of the mighty D’Arnath, name as my successor Ven’Dar yn Cyran. Ce’na davonet, Ven’Dar, teca Giré D’Arnath!”

From the crowd swelled murmurs of wonder, of disbelief, of confusion and dismay that the Prince had gone mad to name one that two days of rumors had claimed dead or disgraced. But when Ven’Dar stepped through the door at the back of the balcony, opened his palms, and knelt to Karon, the murmurs erupted into cries of joy and approval, of hope long held close and faith renewed, until the sound rolled through the city like a hurricane. Discontent rumbled beneath the wind, not a few jeers and shouts of anger invoking the name of Men’Thor. But when Karon raised up Ven’Dar and embraced him, the roar from the people came almost as one, “Ce’na davonet, Ven’Dar, teca Giré D’Arnath!” All honor to you, Ven’Dar, next Heir of D’Arnath. “Ven’Dar! Ven’Dar!”

Mem’Tara rose immediately and bent her knee to Ven’Dar, and Ce’Aret, after a stunned moment, embraced the Word Winder as if he were one of her long-lost sons. But Ustele folded his arms and maintained his seat, while Men’Thor and Radele and two or three others abruptly disappeared from the balcony through the doors at the back.

“He’s killed him,” I said to no one and everyone.

“Did he not say tomorrow?” said Bareil, softly, from behind me.

“No, not Gerick - not yet - but Ven’Dar. He has purposely humiliated Men’Thor before the host of Avonar. He cannot believe Men’Thor will accept it. Ven’Dar’s life is at terrible risk.”

“Surely then, the Prince will watch.”

Surely… Of course. Enrage Men’Thor so he’ll make a mistake. Remove his threat by catching him in undeniable treachery. And name Ven’Dar as the successor, so that when Gerick is dead…

As thunder follows the lightning flash, I saw the truth at last. I did not know Karon’s plan, but I knew what was to be its result. He was going to die, too - and not just the part of him that was my husband. At some time in the past hours, he had decided he was not going to leave D’Natheil behind to destroy Avonar.

“My lady, I must… are you all right? You look unwell.”

Wordless, I waved off Bareil’s hand. I was very much not all right.

“I must go to the Prince, my lady, as I was commanded. Is there a message I could carry for you?”

There was far too much, even for a Dulcé, who could bear the knowledge of a hundred libraries at once. What could be said?

“Just tell him… I understand the implications of his choice.”

And at last I also understood why it was so important that I remain hidden. I was evidence against Men’Thor. If Men’Thor detected Karon’s trap or decided to bide his time, Karon needed evidence to indict him anyway. He would want to leave Ven’Dar free to teach and to guide the people of Avonar without the threat of Men’Thor’s meddling. And I had left Roxanne in the Precept House, carrying the knowledge of my existence and my whereabouts. Fool of a woman, why didn’t you think?

And in all my newfound understanding, I found no hope for Gerick. In his attempt at Calle Rein, Karon had discovered something that precipitated this convoluted strategy, and I could unravel no twisting of plot and no cleverness of words that was going to keep Gerick alive. Vaguely I considered making my way down to his prison again, but his cell had no visible lock, and I had no shred of power. I had come to the limits of my abilities and understanding.

So I did nothing. As the excited crowds wandered back to public salons or their homes, I sat in the window seat, still envisioning Karon on the deserted balcony, the wind caressing his long hair like a lover’s hand. Gentle Aimee brought me a shawl and a cup of tea, thinking to quiet my shivering, but though the nights of the waning summer were indeed growing cool, a blanket of goose down would not have warmed me. So the girl led me to the candlelit bedchamber and took off my shoes and covered me with the soft blankets she had chosen just for me. “Try to sleep, my lady, while I fetch the princess. I’ll wake you before dawn.”

Curled up in the dark nest of the great bed, I had no choice but to let go of everything. I couldn’t think any more, for there was nothing I could bear to think on.

Sometime deep in the night, long after the vigil candle had burned itself out, I was roused from my exhausted half-sleep. A wide hand lay on my cheek, gently brushing away my dreamer’s tears. “Do not weep, beloved,” came a voice in the dark. “All that can be done, I will do. Listen carefully to me. You must not give up, even in the depths of sorrow. I need you to play the part that only you have ever been able to play. Follow the Way, my love, and know that you will be with me forever.”

Before I could shake off the heaviness of sleep or open my eyes to see his face, he kissed my eyelids softly, and I sank into a peaceful, embracing slumber. When Aimee shook me awake in the dark hour before dawn to report Roxanne still missing, I might have thought it was all a dream, save for the rose of blazing scarlet that bloomed at my bedside.

Karon

D’Natheil hated waiting. His irritation would begin as a tightness in the jaw, proceed through nervous chewing of lips and fingers, leak out into restless movements of increasingly destructive tendency, and finally explode in some verbal or physical violence that served no purpose but to grow the dark and bitter core of anger that lived inside him. Inside me.

There had once lived a Gardener in Avonar, my lost Avonar, who enchanted the city gardens to bloom for one day longer each year, so that after thirty years the city was known for its marvelous climate that allowed flowers to bloom a full month longer than others. His was a story told to J’Ettanni children to teach them patience. In a life where any oddity could get you burned alive, and among a people where the savoring of every moment, every sensation, resulted in an increase of the glorious power at the root of being, patience was very near the pinnacle of the pyramid of virtue.

The necessity for patience was one of the fundamental conflicts between D’Natheil and me, the reason he had never been able to summon the power he wanted to wield, the reason I could no longer heal, and the reason I would never be able to lead the Dar’Nethi as they needed. This was, perhaps, the hardest truth revealed by the Rite of Purification. I had emerged from the Pool of Rebirth renewed in spirit and found Seri living and herself again, the most precious gift I had begged from life standing before me, yet I could not savor the moment for needing… wanting… craving to get on with the business of executing my son. I was as much myself as I could ever be, and it was not enough.