Лайон Спрэг Де Камп Array - The Green Magician

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Fleeingfin Land, Harold Shea, his wife Belphebe (late of Faerie Queen) and the indomitable Pete Brodsky find themselves in CelticIreland instead of Ohio, arriving in a downpour.
It is Pete’s knowledge of Ireland that saves them; a life time of being around Irish cops, and trying to be one of the boys, makes Brodsky invaluable.
Upon arrival, they are mistaken for Fomorians by the ‘Hound of Ulster’, the legendary Cuchulainn himself. However, they are set upon by Lagenians, and Cuchulainn rescues them, being upset with them for ganging up.
Falling in with Cucuc, as they came to find he was called, they set out for his camp. As usual, they claim to be magicians, and ask to see the leading druid inIreland.
To resist the amorous advances of Cucuc, Belphebe strips naked in public, there by violating a taboo, and driving Cucuc from her. To explain her behavior, Pete improvises the tale that she has a horrible geas laid on her that makes any man that comes near her violently ill. This mollifies Cucuc, but prompts the druid to attempt the lifting of the bogus geas. In so doing, he inflicts a real one, and Shea is even more bereft.
All his magic has failed dismally inIreland; the return spell attempt nearly fried them when it tracted lightning, his water-to-wine spell nearly inundated the party at which he tried it. He has impressed Cathbadh, the druid of Cucuc’s faction, by removing a werewolf-like curse from a man with some elementary hypnosis. When Cathbadh inadvertently puts the bogus geas on Belphebe, he admits defeat, and tells Shea that there is one other inIreland that might be able to help — Ollgaeth, chief druid to the Connachta, hereditary enemies of Ulster.
Brodsky, with his knowledge of Celtic lore, has tried to warn Cucuc that the Connachta will still try to do him mischief. Cucuc is undismayed, and so the trio set out to meet Ollgaeth to try once more to return to Ohio.

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Shea gasped, and then remembered. That geas she had acquired could be handy as well as troublesome. But it had better not be taken off till morning. Maine mo Epert’s smile turned into a grin that made Shea want more than ever to swat him, but he clapped his hands and began to push people aside. Shea had just time to whisper, «Nice work, kid,» when the usher pushed a couple of people from the end of a bench and sat them down in the front row, facing the royal pair. At the moment a couple of spearmen were holding a serf and giving evidence that he had stolen a pork chop.

Maev looked at Ailill, who said, «Ahem — since the lout was starving, perhaps we ought to exercise mercy and let him off with the loss of a hand.»

«Do not be a fool,» said Maev, «when it is not necessary at all. What! A man inConnacht of the heroes who is so weak-witted that he must starve? Hang him or burn him, would be my decision if I were king.»

«Very well, darling,» said Ailill. «Let the man be hung.»

Two little groups stepped forward next, glaring at each other. Maine mo Epert began to introduce them, but before he got halfway through, Maev said, «I know of this case and it promises to be a long one. Before we hear it I would willingly learn something of the business of the handsome pair of strangers you have brought in.»

Mainemo Epert said, «This is a pair from a distant island calledAmerica. The Mac Shea and his wife, Belphebe. They wish to pay their respects.»

«Let him speak,» said Maev.

Shea wondered whether he ought to make an obeisance, but as no one else seemed to be doing it, he merely stepped forward and said, «Queen, you have become so famous that even inAmerica we have heard of you, and we could not restrain the desire to see you. Also, I would like to see your famous druid, Ollgaeth, since my wife is suffering from a most unpleasant geas, and I am told he is an expert at removing them. Also, I have a message for you and the King, but that had better be private.»

Maev rested her chin on her hand and surveyed him. «Handsome man,» she said, «it is easy to see that you are not much used to deceiving people. Your embroidery is in the style ofUlster, and now you will be telling me at once what this message is and from whom it comes there.»

«It doesn’t come from there,» said Shea. «It’s true I have been inUlster, in fact at Cuchulainn’s house of Muirthemne. And the message is that your plan against him will bring disaster.»

King Ailill’s fingers stopped their restless twitching and his mouth came open, while Maev’s eyebrows formed a straight line. She said in a high voice, «And who told you of the plans of the King of Connacht?»

Look out, said Shea tohimself, this is thin ice. Aloud he said, «Why, it’s just that in my own country, I’m something of a magician, and I learned of it through spells.»

The tension appeared to relax. «Magic,» said Maev. «Handsome man, you have said a true word that this message should be private. We will hear more on it later. You will be at our table tonight, and there you will meet Ollgaeth. For the now, our son, Maine Mingor, will show you to a place.»

She waved her hand, and Maine Mingor, a somewhat younger edition ofMaine mo Epert, stepped out of the group and beckoned them to follow him.

At the door Belphebe giggled and said, «Handsome man.»

Shea said, «Listen.»

«That I did,» said Belphebe, «and heard her say that the message should be private. You’re going to need a geas as much as I do tonight.»

The rain had stopped, and the setting sun was shooting beams of gold and crimson through the low clouds. The horses had been tied to rings in the wall of the building, and Pete was waiting, with an expression of boredom. As Shea turned to follow Maine Mingor, he bumped into a tall, dark man, who was apparently waiting around for just that purpose.

«Is it a friend of Cuchulainn of Muirthemne you are now?» asked this individual, ominously.

«I’ve met him, but we’re not intimates,» said Shea. «Have you any special reason for asking?»

«I have that. He killed my father in his own house, he did. And I am thinking it is time he had one friend the less.» His hand went to his hilt.

Maine Mingor said, «You will be leaving off with that, Lughaid. These people are messengers and under the protection of the Queen, my mother, so that if you touch them it will be both gods and men you must deal with.»

«We will talk of this later, Mac Shea dear,» said Lughaid, and turned back to the palace.

Belphebe said, «I like that not.»

Shea said, «Darling, I still know how to fence, and they don’t.»

VI

Dinner Followed a pattern only slightly different from that at Muirthemne, with Maev and Ailill sitting on a dais facing each other across a small table. Shea and Belphebe were not given placesso lofty as they had been at Cuchulainn’s board, but this was partly compensated for by the presence of Ollgaeth the druid just across the board.

Only partly, however; it became quite clear that Ollgaeth — a big, stoutish man with a mass of white hair and beard — was one of those people who pretend to ask questions only in order to trigger themselves off on remarks of their own. He inquired about Shea’s previous magical experience, and let him just barely touch on the illusions he had encountered in the Finnish Kalevala before taking off.

«Ah, now you would be thinking that was a great rare thing to see, would you not?» he said, and gulped at barley beer. «Now let me tell you, handsome man, that of all the places in the world, Connacht produces the greatest illusions and the most beautiful. I remember, I do, the time when I was making a spell for Laerdach, for a better yield from his dun cow, and while I was in the middle of it, who should come past but his daughter, and she so beautiful that I stopped my chanting to look at her. Would you believe it now? The milk began to flow in a stream that would have drowned a man on horseback, and I had barely time to reverse the spell before it changed from illusion to reality and ravaged half a county.»

Shea said, «Oh, I see. The chanting.»

Ollgaeth hurried on, «And there is a hill behind the rath of Maev this very moment. It looks no different from any other, but it is a hill of great magic, being one of the hills of the Sidhe and a gateway to their kingdom.»

«Who.» began Shea, but the druid only raised his voice a trifle: «Mostly now, they would be keeping the gateways closed. But on a night like tonight, a good druid, or even an ordinary one might open the way.»

«Why tonight?» asked Belphebe from beside Shea.

«What other night would it be but the Lughnasadh? Was it not for that you would be coming here? No, I forget. Forgive an old man.» He smote his brow to emphasize the extent of his fault. «Mainemo Epert was after telling me that it wasmyself you came to see, and you could have done no better. Come midnight when the moon is high, and I will be showing you the powers of Ollgaeth the druid.»

Shea said, «As a matter of fact.» but Ollgaeth rushed past him with: «I call to mind there was a man — what was his name? — had a geas on him that he would be seeing everything double. Now that was an illusion, and it was me he came to in his trouble. I.»

Shea was spared the revelation of what Ollgaeth had done in the case of the double vision by King Ailill’s rapping on his table with the hilt of his knife and saying in his high voice, «We will now be hearing from Ferchertne the bard, since this is the day of Lugh, and a festival.»

Serfs were whisking away the last of the food and benches were being moved to enlarge the space around Ferchertne. This was a youngish man with long hair and a lugubrious expression; he sat down on a stool with his harp, plucked a few melancholy twangs from the strings, and in a bumpish baritone launched into the epic of the «Fate of the Children of Tuirenn.»

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