Jeaniene Frost - One Foot in the Grave

Bones took one look at me buried under all her luggage and vaulted over to assist. “Blimey, Annette. You should have told me how many bags you had!”

“Oh, forgive me, Cat,” Annette chuckled in false apology. “I’m accustomed to having an underling travel with me.”

“Don’t mention it.” Tightly. Underling! Who the hell did she think she was?

Luggage finally stored in the trunk, we drove off.

“When are the rest of our people arriving?” she queried, settling back in her seat. We drove a new vehicle, as my Volvo was known to Max. This was a loaded BMW. I’d ask Bones later where he got it.

“Today and tomorrow. By Friday, I reckon we’ll all be in place.”

Annette sniffed, though it wasn’t like she needed to clear her nose. “I say, Crispin, how did Belinda get herself in Cat’s little snare? I haven’t seen her since your birthday six years ago, or was it five?”

“She got caught because she started running with a group who liked to bring home live meals.”

There was something cold in his tone that perked my ears up even as Annette’s smile grew sly.

“Terrible. She must have really changed. Wasn’t it only five years ago that we three got together?”

Bones glared at her in the rearview mirror right as I translated “We three got together.” I was betting it hadn’t been for tea. And five years ago, Bones had been with me.

“Answer the question, honey. Was it six or five years ago that the three of you all fucked? See, Bones already told me that he’d screwed Belinda, Annette, but thank you for letting me know you participated also.”

Bones pulled the car to the shoulder of the road.

“I won’t tolerate such rudeness, Annette,” he said, pivoting to face her. “She knows bloody well what you’re implying, as you can see, and I don’t know why you feel the need to throw that up at her. You also know that it was eight years ago, before I met her, and I’ll thank you not to entertain her with any more recollections.”

He sounded as pissed as I felt. Annette glanced at me before raising her brows in feigned innocence.

“I apologize. Perhaps it was the long flight which made me forget myself.”

“Kitten.” Bones looked at me. “Is that sufficient?”

No, it wasn’t, and I’d have cheerfully thrown Her Majesty and her hundred pounds of baggage to the curb, but that wasn’t mature.

“I think I can handle a little ménage à trois reminiscing, but just for the record, Annette, you can forget any repeats involving the three of us.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she assured me with a gleam I caught from the rearview mirror. Oh, she and I weren’t through. I’d bet my life on it.

The rest of the drive passed without incident. Annette made arrangements for alternate accommodations after tonight, to my relief. Bones planned to tell Ian next week that he’d found me, and he’d pretend to capture my three captains the following week. And somewhere in the midst of worrying about Ian, the safety of my men, my father actively trying to kill me, and Bones successfully winning his freedom, I had the image of Annette, Belinda, and Bones doing the naked pretzel in my mind. Goddamn her. That was the last thing I needed to think about.

When Annette heard the part of the plan involving my men, she was fascinated.

“Mere humans? Willingly walking into Ian’s den as his collateral? Oh, Crispin, you must let me meet them. Can we have them for supper tonight?”

“She better mean to dinner with real food on the table,” I muttered.

“Why, Cat, that’s precisely what I meant. Can’t have me eating the bait, now can we?” She chuckled.

Bones glanced at me. I shrugged. “It’s not such a bad idea to have them meet first. Maybe it will make them less jittery about this whole Army of Darkness thing.” Or more so, depending on Annette.

“Whatever you like. I don’t care. If they agree, I’ll pick them up when I get Rodney. He’s our other guest tonight.”

“Rodney the ghoul?” How low I had slipped on the Humanity Totem Pole to be so excited about seeing a flesh-eater again, although that would complicate my menu. “Oh, I liked him. He didn’t get angry no matter how many times my mother insulted him.”

Bones gave me a sideways smile. He’d just finished taking Annette’s bags to her room. She was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping tea. I sat on the couch with a tall glass of gin and tonic that was almost empty.

“Wait.” I hated saying this in front of Queen Bitch, but whispering was redundant. “Is he…I mean, because of the last time we met…does he hate me?”

It was Rodney’s house we’d been staying at years ago when I left Bones. The two of them had gone out on an errand, and there had no doubt been an unpleasant scene when they returned to find it empty.

Bones sat next me, setting my glass down.

“Of course he doesn’t hate you. He was right sore at Don for threatening you, although we didn’t know who’d done it then. As far as your mother-well. She didn’t make a friend.”

I gave a watery laugh. “She seldom does.”

He leaned closer. “Actually, he’s a bit unsettled himself about seeing you again, but not for that reason. Rodney thought perhaps you’d be upset with him over Danny.”

Ah. I’d forgotten about that. The murder of my ex-boyfriend hadn’t ranked high on my current list of worries. Poor Danny. He’d certainly regretted seducing me in a permanent way.

“That was more your doing than his, Bones. We’ve already been over that. Besides, he’s coming to help.”

“That’s what I told him you’d say.”

Miffed, I poked him in the chest. “You think you know everything?”

His hands caressed my back. “Not everything, but some things. I knew without a doubt I’d fallen in love when we met. Then I knew I’d do anything to make you feel the same way.”

Annette’s cup clattered to the table. “I’ll take myself off to shower now.”

Bones didn’t even glance up. “Do that.”

The bathroom door closed decisively behind her.

“You keep saying you fell in love right away, but you beat me unconscious, and you were so surly with me those first few weeks.”

Bones chuckled. “You asked for that beating, and you’d have stomped me into submission if I’d shown you any weakness. Of course I didn’t let on how I felt about you. You hated the very sight of me.”

“I don’t hate you now .”

To prove the point, I gave a long, slow lick to his neck. He responded by gathering me up in his arms and heading toward the stairs.

I gasped at his clear intent. “Wait, I was teasing! We can’t, she’d hear us!” Even with the shower running, we might as well have invited her to join us after all.

Bones kept going, climbing the steps three at a time, and then depositing me on the bed.

“ I wasn’t teasing, and I don’t care.” He kissed me thoroughly, tugging off my clothes. “We only have an hour. Let’s not waste it.”

IT’LL TAKE ME ABOUT TWO HOURS TO FETCHRodney and pick up your blokes, Kitten. Are you going to be all right with Annette until then?”

Bones was already running late. I was the reason for his tardiness, and I couldn’t bring myself to care.

“Don’t worry about it. If she gets really lippy, I have my silver.” For emphasis, I glanced at the stack of weapons in the closet.

He snorted in laughter. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather come back to both of you the way I left you.”

“If you insist. Go on, I’ll be waiting for you.”

It was said automatically, but his eyes clouded. With a sigh, I flung myself out of bed and hugged him.