Glen Cook - Soldiers Live

Arkana told me, “That’s not much of an army.”

“Not in any hurry to get into harm’s way, either, looks like. There’s plenty of daylight left they could use for traveling.”

Not in any hurry. When we went down for a closer look we found men scattering like startled roaches.

“Somebody covering his ass,” I said. “Making a show of honoring his obligations. That bunch will never actually get to Taglios.”

We went back up. We talked, not just about what had to be accomplished. Arkana seemed able to relax, now. Seemed to have made peace with the bad times. Some manage that with comparative ease. Others remain crippled for life. Those are not the sort who remain soldiers. They become ex-soldiers and get intimate with wine or poppies.

I asked about her leg.

She laughed. “I can be one of the old folks now. I can use it to predict the weather.”

“It’s all right otherwise?”

“Yes.”

“I do good work.”

“Lots of practice.”

“You get that in this racket.”

We flew back toward Taglios, chatting in a relaxed way, me thinking that this was what it would have been like had Booboo grown up with her parents. Me fooling myself. Lying to myself. No child would grow up even as normal as Arkana if they had Lady for a mother and me for a father.

Maybe I had found the way. Adopt them after they have gotten through their formative years.

We were passing south of Taglios, going to scout the forces gathering in Ajitsthan, when Arkana spotted a billowing figure climbing toward us. “That’s Shukrat.”

“Have you two made peace? Real peace?”

“Sort of. Mainly because we’ve only got each other. From back home. If it wasn’t for that we wouldn’t even be talking. Partly it’s because of family stuff. Things our parents did to each other. And partly it’s us. She’s too cute and too sweet and dumb as a bucket of rocks. But all she’s ever had to do is make big eyes or bounce a little and look helpless.”

“And you were the smart one. Always expected to figure it out for yourself.”

“Yes.”

“Well, you’re growing up to be the prettier one, too. Shukrat’s going to be all freckles and frump before long.”

We slowed so Shukrat could catch up. She came up on my other side. I asked, “What’s up, other daughter?”

“Croaker, I wanted to talk about what happened to those men on that island. That scares me. Really bad. I really like Tobo. A lot.” I was sure she was bright red behind her facial wraps. She did blush easily. “But I don’t think I want to be involved with anyone capable of doing that.”

“We’re all capable of that, Shukrat. Put in the right place at the right time and given a motive. It’s the people around us that keep us from doing it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, Tobo cares about you. Probably a lot more than he’s willing to admit. He’s a passionate kid.”

“Because he’s what he is he’s always had the capacity for huge evil, Shukrat. You know, nobody starts out to be a villain. Not the Shadowmasters. Not my wife or her sister. Not even the Voroshk. But being powerful can turn you villainous. Because there’s nothing to stop you from doing whatever you want to do. Except for something inside you. For Tobo, for a long time, that something was his love and respect for his parents. He fought with Sahra every day but there was no way he was ever going to do something that would disappoint her. While she was alive. After she disappeared the brake on his dark side became his father. But now Murgen is gone, too. So there’s only one more person whose good opinion is important enough to him to keep him from letting himself go.”

Shukrat had to think about that for a while. She was nowhere as dim as Arkana claimed but there were times when it took her a while to get her mind wrapped all the way around complex issues.

“You’re saying me caring about him is what will keep him from doing that stuff again?”

“Yes. I think that. But I also think you have to confront him with your knowledge and make him understand that you won’t accept any excuses for behavior like that. Don’t nag. Don’t carp. State your case firmly and clearly, then shut up. Don’t negotiate. You have to mark out an absolute limit he’ll always know is there. And stick with it. You always have to know it’s there, too.”

Shukrat nodded.

While I waited to see if she got it I told Arkana, “I might turn out to be pretty good at this fatherly advice stuff.”

“You’re definitely long-winded enough.”

“Thanks a lot.”

“For the record, I think you’re right. What you said to her.”

“You know what she’s talking about?”

“She warned me. In case I wanted to watch out for General Singh. Not long after you warned me about it. I had to go see what you were excited about, didn’t I?”

The girl rose in my estimation every damned day.

The force gathering at Mukhra was much more of a threat than that at Vehdna-Bota. It would mean major new trouble if Aridatha, as the new Great General, was unable to sell the concept of peace to Mogaba’s old allies.

Lady was sitting beside Booboo again. Or still. I pulled up a stool opposite her. “Want me to take over for a while? Give you a chance to get out and about and stretch your legs? The Green Dragon Banner Company have a wicked lamb stew going. Don’t ask me where they found sheep in this madhouse.”

She lifted her face. There were tear tracks on her cheeks. “Help me, Croaker. I can’t stop thinking about how much was taken away from me when Narayan Singh stole her. How much that one event changed my life.”

It changed all our lives. It affected everyone in this end of this world and hundreds of thousands in at least two others. But she was completely self-involved right now.

“Get up and get out of here,” I told her. “Go get something to eat. Go flying. It’s a beautiful, cool day. There’re signs that things are going to start greening up soon. Go take it in. I want you to get hold of yourself before I go. I don’t want to leave you here if you don’t think you’re all right.”

“Go? Where are you going?”

“It’s almost time to release the first contingent of the Children of the Dead. Some of us are going to scout the way south and across the plain. And get the guys at the shadowgate busy collecting supplies. Why don’t you come along? It’ll get your mind off things.”

“No. I couldn’t. There isn’t anyone here who can take care of her.”

Damn! Now I saw where she was vulnerable. I saw the door the darkness would use to get in. If it had not done so already.

Clever me, though. I knew how to close that door. Forever. And I had just set myself up to take care of it without interference.

“Go get some stew. Strut around. Make the soldiers hate me for being lucky enough to have you.” There was a time when every man did. When every man responded to Lady the way women did to Aridatha Singh. But those days were gone. And so were all those men but me.

I glanced down at Booboo, then up at the silent white crow standing in the open window. It certainly seemed to run in the blood.

The white crow was around a lot now, but was quiet about it. So far I had not forgotten to look around before I said anything I did not want overheard. I needed to keep my fingers crossed for the future, though.

Lady dithered.

I said, “If you don’t get going I’ll call some guys in here and have them hold you down while I paddle you.”

For a moment the Lady I love peeked out of the dark place. She flashed a smile, said, “Promise? That might be fun.”

Once she left I collected Booboo’s hand and indulged in a little of the same despair. The girl’s fingers were cold as death. But she was breathing.