Charlaine Harris - Dead in the Family

I let out a shriek and hugged her. “Oh, this is so great!” I said. “Holly, it’s so pretty! So, have you picked a date yet?”

“It’ll be in the fall, probably,” Holly said. “Hoyt has to work long hours through the spring and summer. That’s his busy time, so we figured maybe October or November.”

“Sookie,” Hoyt said, his voice dropping and his face growing solemn. “Now that Jason and I have mended our fences, I’m going to ask him to be my best man.”

I glanced very quickly over to Holly, who’d never been a big Jason fan. She was still smiling, and if I could detect the reservations she had, Hoyt couldn’t.

I said, “He’ll be thrilled.”

I had to hustle off to make the rounds of my tables, but I smiled while I worked. I wondered if they’d have the ceremony after dark. Then Eric could go with me. That would be great! That would transform me from “poor Sookie who hasn’t even ever been engaged” to “Sookie who brought the gorgeous guy to the wedding.” Then I thought of a contingency plan. If the wedding was a daytime wedding, I could get Claude to go with me! He looked exactly like a romance cover model. He’d been a romance cover model. (Ever read The Lady and the Stableboy , or Lord Darlington’s Naughty Marriage ? Woo-hoo!)

I was unhappily aware that I was thinking about the wedding strictly in terms of my own feelings. but there’s nothing more forlorn than being an old maid at a wedding. I realize that it’s silly to feel like you’re on the shelf at twenty-seven. But I had missed some prime time, and I was increasingly conscious of that fact. So many of my high school friends had gotten married (some more than once), and some of them were pregnant—like Tara, who was coming through the door in an oversized T-shirt.

I gave a wave to let her know I’d come talk to her when I could, and I got an iced tea for Dr. Linda Tonnesen and a Michelob for Jesse Wayne Cummins.

“What’s up, Tara?” I bent over to give her a neck hug. She had plunked herself down at a table.

“I need some caffeine-free Diet Coke,” she said. “And I need a cheeseburger. With lots of French-fried pickles.” She looked ferocious.

“Sure,” I said. “I’ll get the Coke and put in your order right now.”

When I returned, she drank the whole glass. “I’ll be sorry in five minutes because I’ll have to go to the bathroom,” she said. “All I do is pee and eat.” Tara had big rings under her eyes, and her complexion was not at its best. Where was the glow of pregnancy that I’d heard so much about?

“How much longer do you have to go?”

“Three months, a week, and three days.”

“Dr. Dinwiddie gave you a due date!”

“JB just can’t believe how big I’m getting,” Tara said, with an eye roll.

“He said that? In those words?”

“Yep. Yes. He did.”

“Geez Louise. That boy needs a lesson or two in rephrasing.”

“I’d settle for him keeping his mouth shut entirely.”

Tara had married JB knowing brains weren’t his strong suit, and she was reaping the result, but I so wanted them to be happy. I couldn’t be all, “You made your bed, now you gotta lie in it.”

“He loves you,” I said, trying to sound soothing. “He’s just. ”

“JB,” she said. She shrugged and summoned up a smile.

Then Antoine called that my order was up, and the avid expression on Tara’s face told me that she was more focused on the food than on her husband’s tactlessness. She returned to Tara’s Togs a happier and fuller woman.

As soon as it was dark, I called Eric on my cell while I was in the ladies’ room. I hated to sneak off on Sam’s time to call my boyfriend, but I needed the support. Now that I had his cell number, I didn’t have to call Fangtasia, which was both bad and good. I’d never known who was going to answer the phone, and I’m not a universal favorite among Eric’s vampires. On the other hand, I missed talking to Pam, Eric’s second-in-command. Pam and I are actually almost friends.

“I am here, my lover,” Eric said. It was hard not to shiver when I heard his voice, but the atmosphere of the ladies’ room in Merlotte’s was not at all conducive to lust.

“Well, I’m here, too, obviously. Listen, I really need to talk to you,” I said. “Some things have come up.”

“You’re worried.”

“Yes. With good reason.”

“I have a meeting in thirty minutes with Victor,” Eric said. “You know how tense that’s likely to be.”

“I do know. And I’m sorry to pester you with my problems. But you’re my boyfriend, and part of being a good boyfriend is listening.”

“Your boyfriend,” he said. “That sounds. strange. I am so not a boy.”

“Foof, Eric!” I was exasperated. “I don’t want to stand here in the bathroom trying to talk terminology! What’s the bottom line? Are you going to have free time later or not?”

He laughed. “Yes, for you. Can you drive over here? Wait, I’ll send Pam for you. She’ll be at your house at one o’clock, all right?”

I might have to hurry to get home by then, but it was doable. “Okay. And warn Pam that. Well, tell her not to get carried away by anything, hear?”

“Oh, certainly, I’ll be glad to pass that very specific message along,” Eric said. He hung up. Not big on saying good-bye, like most vampires.

This was going to be a very long day.

Luckily for me, all the customers cleared out early, and I was able to get my closing work done in record time. I called, “Good night!” over my shoulder and hared out the back door to my car. When I parked behind the house, I noticed Claude’s car wasn’t there. So he was probably still in Monroe, which simplified matters. I hurried to change clothes and freshen my makeup, and just as I put on some lipstick, Pam knocked at the back door.

Pam was looking especially Pammish tonight. Her blond hair was absolutely straight and shining, her pale blue suit looked like a vintage gem, and she was wearing hose with seams up the back, which she turned around to show me.

“Wow,” I said, which was the only possible response. “You’re looking great.” She put my red skirt and red and white blouse to shame.

“Yes,” she said with considerable satisfaction. “I am. Ah. ” She became utterly still. “Do I smell fairy?”

“You do, but there’s not one here now, so just rein it in. My cousin Claude was here today. He’s going to be bunking with me for a while.”

“Claude, the mouthwateringly beautiful asshole?”

Claude’s fame preceded him. “Yes, that Claude.”

“Why? Why is he staying with you?”

“He’s lonely,” I said.

“Do you really believe that?” Pam’s pale brows were arched incredulously.

“Well. yes, I do.” Why else would Claude want to stay at my house, which was not convenient to his job? He certainly didn’t want to get in my pants, and he hadn’t asked to borrow money.

“This is some fairy intrigue,” Pam said. “You were a fool to be taken in.”

Nobody likes being called a fool. Pam had stepped over the line, but then “tact” was not her middle name. “Pam, that’s enough,” I said. I must have sounded serious, because she stared at me for all of fifteen seconds.

“I’ve offended you,” she said, though not as if the idea gave her pain.

“Yeah, you have. Claude’s missing his sisters. There aren’t any fairies left for him to intrigue with since Niall closed the portal, or doors, or whatever the heck he closed. I’m the closest Claude’s got to his kind—which is pretty pitiful, since I just have a dab of fairy in me.”

“Let’s go,” Pam said. “Eric will be waiting.”