Robin Hobb - Ship of Destiny

"I think I can steer a tricky passage as well as you can." She rocked slightly back on her heels to give him an offended look.

"I know you can," he barked back. "But it won't do Paragon much good when you're at Vivacia's wheel," he retorted.

She looked at him blankly. Then her face changed. Understanding dawned. "Oh, Brashen." She came to her feet. "You thought I was going away today. On Vivacia."

"Aren't you?" He hated the slight hoarseness in his voice. He looked at her sullenly, refusing to hope.

She shook her head slowly. He saw an echo of loss in her eyes. "There's no place there for me, Brashen. I saw that yesterday. I will always love her. But she is Wintrow's ship. To take her away from him would be… identical to what Kyle did to me. Wrong."

He fitted the words together. "Then you're staying on with Paragon?"

"Yes."

"And with me?"

"So I assumed." She cocked her head at him. "I thought we both wanted this. To be together." She looked down. "I know it's what I want. Even though I'm losing my liveship, I know I want to be with you."

"Althea, I'm so sorry." He tried to get his face under control. "Really, I am. I know what the Vivacia meant to you, what she still means to you."

Both amusement and irritation glinted in her eyes. "You'd look more sincere, if you'd stop grinning."

"I would if I could," he assured her sincerely. She took three steps. Then she was in his arms. He held her. She was staying with him. She wanted to stay with him. It was going to be fine. For a time he just held her. A long moment later, he asked, "And you're going to marry me? In Bingtown, at the Traders' Concourse?"

"That was the plan," she agreed.

"Oh."

She looked up into his face. His eyes and his heart were so open to her now. She saw all the uncertainty and pain she'd caused him, without intention. She had never meant to do that. He smiled at her and she managed to smile back. His hold on her tightened and she resisted the urge to gently free herself. She had to get past this. This was Brashen. She loved him.

She took a breath. She had never imagined that she'd have to force herself to endure his touch. But just this time, just this once, she would, for both of them. She could relax and tolerate it. He needed this reassurance of her love. And she needed to prove to herself that Kennit had not destroyed her. Just this once, she could pretend desire. For Brashen's sake. She turned her mouth up to his and let him kiss her.

Her chambers were beyond anything Malta had imagined. No matter where she turned her eyes, she saw opulence. The frescoes of forests on the wall merged into a pale blue ceiling of birds and butterflies in flight. The deep carpets underfoot were green as moss, while the permanently flowing bath of steaming water bubbled through an immense tub framed by marble water-birds and screened by a wall of potted reeds and cattails. And this was merely her dressing chamber.

The mirror beside her dressing table was larger than she was. She had no idea what half the little pots of cosmetics and unguents held. She did not need to. That was the business of the three maids who applied them artfully to her skin.

"If it pleases my lady, would she lift her brows, that I may outline her eyes more fully?" one of them requested gently.

Malta lifted a hand. "They are fine as they are, Elise. All three of you have done wonderfully by me." She had never thought she would get tired of being fussed over, but she was ready for some time alone. She smiled in the mirror at the women around her. Elise had shaved a part in her own dark hair. A comb, decorated with red glass, rested there in artful imitation of Malta's crest. The other two young women had plucked their eyebrows and replaced them with a glistening cosmetic made from flaked mother-of-pearl and coloring. One had chosen red in Malta's honor. The other's shimmering brows were blue. Malta wondered if this were an effort to flatter Reyn.

Another glance in the mirror assured her that no cosmetic efforts could make them look as exotic as she. Malta smiled at herself, enjoying how light moved on her scaling. She turned her head slowly from side to side. "Wonderfully," she repeated. "You may all go."

"But, lady, your stockings and slippers…"

"I shall put them on myself. Go on, now. Or would you have me believe there are no young men anxiously hoping you may be released a few moments early tonight?"

The smiles that met hers in the mirror told her that she had guessed true.

A great ball such as this created excitement through all the levels of the Satrap's palace. There would be dancing in no less than four separate ballrooms, for every level of aristocracy, and Malta knew that the excitement and glitter would extend to celebration in the servants' hall as well. That it was the third such gala in less than a month did not seem to dim anyone's enthusiasm. No one wished to miss the chance to once more glimpse the grave and slender beauty that was the Queen of the Pirate Isles, let alone bypass an opportunity to see the Elderlings dance together. Newly influential advisors and nobles of Jamaillia would once more convene to flatter and exalt the young Satrap who had so valiantly set forth to adventure through the wild world and then returned home with such lofty new allies. Tonight would be their last such opportunity. Tomorrow, she and Reyn would sail north on the Vivacia with Wintrow and Queen Etta. Tomorrow they would finally begin the journey home.

Malta drew on her stockings and then her little white satin slippers. In the midst of tying the second one, she looked down at it closely. She tried to remember how tragic it had been not to have new slippers for her first ball. Her heart went out to the girl she had been even as she shook her head over her ignorance. She took the white lace gloves from her dressing table. They came to her elbow, and were cleverly fashioned to permit hints of her gleaming scarlet scaling to show through the lace. Yesterday, one of her maids had told her that in the bazaar, they now sold gloves with glittering insets to mimic the effect.

Malta looked at herself in the mirror disbelievingly. Everyone, everyone thought she was beautiful. Her gown was a confection of white with hidden panels of scarlet fabric that would flash only when Reyn whirled her on the dance floor. The seamstress who had created it had told her it had come to her in a dream of dragons. She set her hands to the tiny waist of the dress and spun before the mirror, nearly falling as she tried to turn her head to catch the flashing of the red. Then, laughing at her own foolishness, she left her dressing chamber.

Moments later, she tapped twice at a door, and then boldly let herself in. "Etta?" she gently asked of the dimness.

"In here," the Queen of the Pirate Isles replied.

Malta swiftly crossed the darkened chamber and entered Etta's immense dressing chamber. Closets stood open, gowns were strewn on the chairs and the floor, and Etta sat in her undergarments before her mirror. "Where are your dressing maids?" Malta asked carefully. Wintrow had warned her of Etta's temper. Malta herself had never seen her anger, only the black depths of her sorrow.

"I sent them away," Etta said brusquely. "Their chatter was maddening. 'Try this scent, let us pin your hair so, will you wear the green, will you wear the blue, oh, lady, not the black, not again.' Like so many shrieking gulls, all come to feed on my corpse. I sent them away."

"I see," Malta said gently. A second door opened, and Mother suddenly appeared bearing a tray. A steaming teapot was on it, and matching cups. It was a lovely service, white with flowers done all in blue. Mother muttered a soft greeting to Malta and set the tray down on Etta's dressing table. Her pale-blue eyes lingered on Etta fondly. She spoke to herself as she poured tea for Etta, a gentle stream of words, soothing as a cat's purr. Etta appeared to listen, though Malta could make no sense of the sounds. Then Queen Etta sighed, took up the cup and sipped it. Despite Mother's status at court, she had refused title and chambers of her own. Instead, she shared Etta's chamber, and waited on her at every opportunity. Malta thought such constant attention would chafe her to fury, but Etta seemed to take comfort from it. The Queen of the Pirate Isles set down her cup.