Jess Lebow: The Colors of Magic Anthology

I was invited to the Sun casino because I had won for two weeks straight. I was a rising star again. My game was strong. My wealth grew with my new magic. I had experienced nothing like this before-on top and still rising. It would have been nice if Annise had come to watch. She never watched me play.

Nothing in the room changed. The lavender candle was still in the bottle, long burnt. Its scent lingered. When she returned from work, nothing was different- no questions. She looked at me just the same. I was happy everything was the same, afraid things might have changed in my absence. She might have thought more about leaving. Everything was going to be better-for her as well as me.

At night I would dream of the Flow, swim in it, drink of it from her bed near mine. The pendant lay across her throat, whispering of victory. I found what I needed to kill the praying mantis of Dumoss. The pendant could give me that power. That's what I wanted-to kill that praying mantis and claim my place in this city, above the poor, forever under foot when I walked past. I wanted Annise with me.

One night while she slept, I reached out to touch the pendant. She stirred. I almost touched her throat. I wondered where, how, she got that prize, that incredible prize. I wondered who she let touch that throat. Dumoss? The pit bosses? I saw them all through the window. She passed time with them, touched their shoulders, arms, maybe caressed a cheek, and always smiling. All with no regret-nothing. I pulled my hand back and clutched my fist to my chest. She would be with me. My new control could give me that.

Staring at the skeleton of the ceiling, I wondered whether Dumoss, sitting somewhere, had heard tales of how good I had become.

He had. Standing inside a casino, the player who killed my rat, a pit boss in blue with gold lace, said Dumoss wanted a challenge. Dumoss wanted to play me that night. My face was blank, a gambler's trick. In my mind I was calm. I was ready.

The pit boss stared at me. He said I could never win, no matter how good my magic. He called me king of the dirt. He said that my luck didn't make me a loser, but that being a loser made my luck.

I returned home to Annise waiting at the window. She stared, sipping from a cup of water and said, "I'm leaving."

The sensation in my chest was like the gambler's game, Freeze, someone constricting my heart. "What?"

"I'm leaving you," she said, hair burnished by fading sunlight. She put a hand on the pendant, ran her fingers along its edges. "I'm going to be off on my own."

"This is because of Dumoss, isn't it?" The constriction continued. I felt heat on my skin but cold inside. My animals thrashed against their cages, feeling my fury.

Annise shook her head slowly, not looking at me. "Dumoss has-"

I raged in place. "Liar! This is because of Dumoss!"

Clutching the pendant, she turned back to the window. I couldn't see her face. She was not wracked with sobs, as I wanted her to be, or torn with sorrow, as I deserved to see her. Slowly, she nodded her acknowledgment and confessed her lie.

"You are leaving because you think he offers you more!" My animals hissed, rattled, ran in circles. "I will give you the same."

"You can't." She had pity in her voice. "We have been together some time, and I can't give you what you want." Her free hand fell from the pendant to rest on her shoulder. "I can't give myself to you."

"And you can with Dumoss?"

"No, not with Dumoss."

I smashed my foot into the floor. A slat cracked beneath the carpet, the carpet I had bought for her. "If not with Dumoss, then with who?"

Annise shook her head again and shrugged. "I don't know. But I know I must leave here."

"You must leave here." I laughed, a short, acid laugh. Blood boiled in my animals. I turned toward them. The salamander hurled itself against the bars of its little cage and died. I flinched. Another piece of me was gone. More of my life was gone. Like Annise.

There was still a chance. If I defeated Dumoss, my mantis against his, she would stay. I knew it. I thought of all the dreams inspired by the pendant. Using it against Dumoss would show her his weakness, show her that he could never give her what I could. He was a real gambler, but his luck would change. It would change that night, and I would be the one to change it.

Annise stood, straightened her dress with the gold lace around the cuff and collar. She ran a hand through her hair. "I have no bags. I won't take anything with me."

"Give me the pendant."

She looked me in the eye and blinked slowly. "What?"

"The pendant." My hand reached out. "Give it to me."

Annise turned her shoulders defensively and raised her hand to cover the pendant. Her expression said she would not give it up. "It is my new luck. For the first time-

"Don't you dare say for the first time you are lucky!" I bellowed. "Your luck started when we met."

She tried to move past me, toward the door. Her eyes never left me. Her feet stepped silently on the carpet. She slipped from my sight, but I knew she needed me. I turned toward the mantis. Its black, hintless eyes watched me. It waited patiently in my control. An idea… was it possible? Could I do it? Could anyone?

I stretched my arm toward her. With half-closed eyes, I felt the sensation of motion. My spirit followed. Was it possible? As with other gambler's games, I sought her magic, the root, the source of her spirit. But she was surrounded by the power of the pendant, making the distance immense.

It was too much, the challenge too great. I struggled, buffeted by power, spirit to human spirit. Animals are simple. This was torture to my magic. Yet I could not surrender. She needed me, needed me! I could not lose her to another.

Annise stood enthralled. Concentrating made my nose bleed, my ears ring. I focused on her eyes. Her body was rigid, as when I first touched her, when we first met. My control spun and twisted, fighting for dominance. How much easier it would be if I had the pendant!

I pointed to her bed. She jerked, sobs breaking from her throat. She moved, lowered herself to her knees, then sat on her bed. Tears flowed from her eyes.

She would be happy under my control. Once the fight with Dumoss was finished, Annise would see that was true. I dropped to my knees in front of her and stroked her hair. Bending slowly, I place my hand on the pendant. She tried to scream. I took our first kiss. She bit me, drawing blood.

I whispered, "Everything I do, I do for you."

Dumoss stood on his side of the arena. The sand on the floor was smoothed for our contest. He was dressed in fine yellow silks adorned with rich brocade. The brazier above made him seem old. His face was set in stone, like mine. The pendant was hidden beneath my robes, but I had no doubt he could feel its power. I imagined he could feel his loss already. Around us stood the real gamblers, men and women who were lucky enough to be missed by the storm, men and women whose luck had not changed.

We sat on our short chairs and raised our hands above our heads, elbows bent. The pit bosses gathered the bets. The odds were not in my favor, but I didn't care. I could hear bets being placed on me, but I couldn't see faces because of the brazier's light. The betting was closed.

Then the pit bosses called out, "Fight!"

We both clapped our hands, summoning our beasts- praying mantises large as birds-near the center of the ring. I felt Dumoss's control prodding the limbs of his mantis toward mine. My new magic let nothing leak out. There was no way for him to read my moves.

The two translucent monsters clashed, locking their razor limbs across each other's heads. Magic struggled against magic for the strength to push the insects harder. However magic in the arena shifted, however we struggled with the changing forces, our fighters never released their grips. Our faces were set and solid.