Gene Wolfe - Exodus from the Long Sun

“It could happen.” Horn sounded defiant.

“Of course it could. All sorts of unlikely things can, but they rarely do. Something has been troubling her ever since she and Hammerstone were married, and I believe I know what it is. Let’s leave it at that.”

“Even if you’re right,” Horn said, “that’s not a very good reason to want to die.”

“I disagree, but let’s move on. In the cockpit, I realized that Chenille and Hyacinth had fought when both of them were at Orchid’s — she was the woman who paid for the funeral at which Kypris spoke to us, not that it matters. My sister—”

“I didn’t know you had a sister, Calde.

Silk smiled. “Forget I said that, please; it was a slip of the tongue. I was about to say that Chenille blacked Hyacinth’s eyes, which isn’t surprising since she’s considerably larger and stronger. Nor do I blame her. If Hyacinth has forgiven her, and she clearly has, I can do no less. But they lied about it, both of them, and I found it very painful. I can’t prove they lied, Horn; but if you’d been there, you would have caught the lie just as I did. Hyacinth identified an incident to which Chenille was about to refer before Chenille specified it. That could only mean that Chenille was much more closely involved than she pretended.”

A wide river dotted with ice divided the forest below. Silk leaned forward to study it. “You’ll say that what I’ve told you is not a good reason to die. Again, I disagree.”

“Calde…?”

“Yes. What is it?”

“You don’t look like her. Like Chenille. She’s got that red hair, but it’s dyed. Underneath her hair’s dark, I think. Your eyes are blue, but hers are brown, and like you said she’s real big and strong. You’re tall and pretty strong, but…”

“You need not proceed, Horn, if it embarrasses you.”

“What I mean is she’d be a lot like Auk if she was a man. You’d be a better runner, but — but…”

“We are alike in certain ways, I suppose.”

“That’s not it.” Horn was less at ease than ever. “Since you’ve been calde everybody talks about the old one. Then last night before those women came you were talking about his will. Nettle told me, and this’s her idea, really. He said he had an adopted son, and this son was going to be the next one. What Nettle says is he didn’t say to make it happen, he just said it would. Is that right?”

Silk nodded. “’Though he is not the son of my body, my son will succeed me.’”

“Chenille’s his real daughter, Nettle told me that too. And you’re the next calde. So if she’s your sister—”

“We will go no further with this, Horn. It has nothing to do with our topic.”

“All right. I won’t tell anybody.”

“There are so many lies in the whorl that it’s not likely anyone would credit you if you did. May I instance one more? Hyacinth subdued our pilot, Hyacinth alone. I mentioned it.”

“Yes, Calde.”

“I’ve been trying to think of an enlightening analogy for you, but I can’t. Suppose I were to say that it was like seeing Patera Incus overpower Auk. The analogy would be flawed because I’ve never supposed that Patera Incus could not fight, only that he would fight badly. I had imagined Hyacinth would be helpless in the face of violence; she spoke of taking fencing from Master Xiphias once, yet I never…”

“I can’t hear you. Can’t you turn around this way?”

“No. Come closer.” Silk found Horn’s hand and drew him nearer the edge.

“Nobody thought you could fight either, Calde.”

“I know, and they had almost convinced me of it. That was a part of the reason I broke into Blood’s — I needed to prove I wasn’t the milksop everyone took me for. Nor was I, though I was badly frightened most of the time.”

“Maybe that’s how Hyacinth felt about the pilot.” Greatly daring, Horn sat up, his legs stretched before him and his feet on the edge of the deck. “Hyacinth’s real girly when you’re around. We got lots of it this morning. She smiles whenever you look at her and holds on like she can’t stand up. She wants you to like her. Calde, you know that big cat Mucor’s got?”

Silk was staring down at a mountain valley, following the snowy rush of a young river over red stones. “You mean Lion?”

“I don’t know the name, but Lion sounds like a boy. This was a girl cat, I think, kind of gray, with long pointed ears and a little short tail. I saw it one time when I brought up Mucor’s dinner. It really liked her. It would rub up against her and smile. Cats can smile, Calde.”

“I know.”

“It kept putting its paw in Mucor’s lap so she’d pet it, but it wasn’t too sure about me. It showed me its teeth, pulling its lips back without making any noise. I was pretty scared.”

“So was I, Horn. I shot two of those horned cats once; I’m very sorry for that now.” Silk leaned forward again. “Look at that cliff, Horn. Can you see it?”

“Sure, I saw it just a minute ago. I don’t think I could climb it, but I’d like to try.”

Horn made himself speak more loudly. “I know what Hyacinth seems like to you, Calde, but she seems a lot like Mucor’s cat to Nettle and me. She’s respectful to Moly, though.”

Silk glanced over his shoulder. “You’re right, there is a great deal of good in Hyacinth, though I would love her even if there were none.”

Horn shook his head. “I was going to say she sort of hits it off with Hammerstone. He can be awful rough.”

“Yes, I’m well aware of it.”

“He likes Moly and Patera Incus, so he’s nice to them. But he treats Nettle and me like sprats, and with other people he’s like Auk. Hyacinth won’t give him half a step, and once when she got mad she called him all kinds of names. I thought I knew all those. I learned most of that stuff when I was little, but she had some I never heard. If the pilot pulled a needler on Mucor, what do you think her cat would do?”

“Come here,” Silk told him. “Sit with me. Are you afraid I’ll take you with me if I jump? I’m not going to, and I’d like you beside me.”

“I’m still pretty scared.”

“You would have climbed that cliff, given the chance. You would be no more dead falling from here.”

“All right.” Gingerly, Horn edged forward until his legs dangled over the abyss of air. Oreb settled on his shoulder.

“As I said, I’ve neglected my duty to teach you. Now I can actually show you part of the Plan. I find it enlightening, and you may, too. See the city ahead? The mountains we crossed isolate it from the west. Soon we’ll see what isolates it from the east; and if we were to turn north or south, we’d come upon barriers there as well. Some are more formidable than others, of course.”

“Their houses are like people, Calde. Look, there’s Pas, with the two heads. Even the little ones are like people lying down, see? The thatch makes it look like they’ve got blankets.”

“Good place.” Oreb bobbed on Horn’s shoulder.

“It is,” Silk agreed, “but if we weren’t used to seeing Pas pictured like this, we’d think this image the more horrible — and it is horrible — for being so large. I won’t ask if you’ve lain with a woman, Horn; it’s too personal a matter to broach save in shriving, and I know you too well to shrive you. Should you wish to be shriven, I hope you’ll go to Patera Remora.”

“All right.”

“I had not until my wedding night. Indeed, it remains my only such experience. You needn’t tell me that Hyacinth has lain with scores of men. I knew it and was acutely conscious of it; so was she. I can’t say what our experience meant to her, and perhaps it meant little or nothing. To me it was wonderful. Wonderful! I came to her as one starving. And yet—”