Charles Sheffield - Transcendence

They did not mock her statement, which would have been perfectly justified. “J’merlia was on the Erebus with Julian Graves, too,” Hans Rebka said, a sigh in his voice. “He vanished here. He was with our party on Genizee. And he vanished there . And then a few hours ago he came back in the seedship — unconscious. Don’t ask me, Darya. You’re the one who’s good at theories. What’s your explanation?”

Optical illusion. Mirrors. Magic. Darya’s thoughts were running out of control. “I don’t have one. It’s impossible.”

“So wait another second, an’ mebbe we’ll hear J’merlia speak for himself.” Louis Nenda pointed to Atvar H’sial. The Cecropian’s pleated proboscis was trembling its way across J’merlia’s body, touching his pale-lemon eyes on their short stalks, caressing the sensing antennas and the narrow head. J’merlia was jerking and mumbling in response to her touch. Darya and the other humans heard nothing intelligible, but suddenly Louis Nenda began to talk.

“Goin’ to give it verbatim if I can.” He placed the infant Zardalu on one of the control chairs, where it clamped itself firmly with multiple suckers and bit an experimental beakful of soft seat cushion. “At’ll ask the questions, say what J’merlia says exact to me, I pass it on exact to you. Get ready, Kallik. Any second now.”

The smell of complex pheromones was strong in the air of the cabin, their message tantalizingly hidden from most of the watchers.

“I, J’merlia, hear, and I reply,” Nenda said, in a flat, unnatural voice. “It began with the seedship. I was left alone to repair that ship, whilst Dominatrix Atvar H’sial, Captain Rebka, and Master Nenda went to explore the shore buildings of the Zardalu. I completed the repair ahead of schedule and decided to test the seedship in flight. It performed perfectly. I therefore flew it back to the buildings, where I found that large numbers of Zardalu were emerging from the water…”

The room was totally silent except for J’merlia’s harsh breathing and Nenda’s gruff, emotionless voice. He might have been reading from a parts list when he spoke of the escape to space after the Zardalu had forced the others underground, of J’merlia’s unplanned rendezvous with the amorphous singularity, of the agonies of physical distortion on the edge of that singularity, of the improbable rescue and transfer to Hollow-World. The description of J’merlia’s awakening, and the meeting with Guardian, produced an irrepressible stir of interest and muttered comments.

“Sounds exactly like World-Keeper,” Rebka said softly. “Nenda, can you ask Atvar H’sial to probe for a fuller physical description of that Builder construct?”

“I can ask her to try. I don’t think she got good two-way talk yet, though.”

The recital continued: of Guardian’s message-probe survey of the spiral arm; of Guardian’s increasing conviction of its own unique role as preserver and protector of Genizee for the return of the Builders. And finally — Atvar H’sial’s proboscis writhed, and Louis Nenda’s voice cracked as he spoke — J’merlia’s own pain began. He had been split, his mind shattered to fragments, his body sent far away on multiple assignments.

He had been nowhere and everywhere, simultaneously; with Guardian on Hollow-World, with Julian Graves on the Erebus , and with both parties on and under the surface of Genizee. He had died in the roaring column of plasma, he had vanished from the grasp of the Zardalu, he had been cross-examined by Guardian, and later he in turn had asked his programmed questions of World-Keeper. And at the end, the worst agony: J’merlia’s loss of selves and final collapse.

The Lo’tfian had been lying cradled in four of Atvar H’sial’s limbs. As Nenda said the word “collapse” he sat up and stared around him. The pale-yellow eyes were puzzled, but they were rational.

“Collapse,” he repeated in human speech. His tone was perplexed. “When that collapse was over, Guardian told me that my task was now complete. I was again on Hollow-World, but I was told that I must leave there. And now I am again on the Erebus . How did I come here?”

Darya glanced at each of the others in turn. They all seemed calm, even relaxed. Yet J’merlia’s “explanation” of how he had been in many places at once, and vanished instantaneously from each of them explained nothing.

Why weren’t the rest as upset and confused as she was? Was she unique in the way that things contrary to physical laws disturbed her? All her life she had sought rationality and shunned mysticism or magic. But now, faced with flagrant violation of what she believed possible… could she be seeing evidence of a whole new physics, radically different from everything that she had ever learned?

Darya rubbed her eyes. She could accept many things, but not that. But wasn’t failure to accept itself unacceptable? Didn’t she pride herself on her open-mindedness, her willingness to theorize based on evidence rather than prejudice?

Exhausted, Darya withdrew into her own unhappy trance of analysis and reassessment.

When J’merlia began to talk for himself, Louis Nenda ended his translation. With the attention of the group all on the Lo’tfian, he sidled across to Atvar H’sial and whispered a pheromonal question at a level that only the Cecropian could receive: “How is J’merlia? In the head, I mean. Can you tell?”

Atvar H’sial edged away from the group, leading Nenda with her. “He is mystifyingly normal,” she said softly. “Almost everything he has told us sounds impossible, yet there is no evidence that he is lying, or fabricating his own version of events.”

“So he’ll be able to talk for himself from now on? And answer questions when they have them?”

“I believe so.”

“Then this is the best time, right now. The Indulgence is fueled and deserted. You made a flight plan for us to clear the Anfract. We could take off while everybody’s sitting listenin’ with their mouths open, and head back to Glister.” He paused, a question mark in his pheromones. “If you still want to do it, I mean.”

“I am not sure.” Atvar H’sial was also oddly hesitant. “Perhaps such action is premature.” The twin yellow horns in the middle of her head turned to the group clustered around J’merlia, then back to Nenda. “He seems normal, but that only means any derangement must be deep. It is a poor time to leave him.”

“Are you tellin’ me you wanna stick around awhile, to make sure your bug’s all right? Because if you are, I guess I don’t mind doing—”

“I did not say that. I realize that we made a deal before you left for Genizee. Cecropians do not renege on their commitments. But I am J’merlia’s dominatrix, and have been since he was first postlarval. So if you wish to remain longer…”

“I agreed to that deal, too. If you want to change, it, I’ll be glad to. Just don’t start tellin’ me what you’ll be leavin’ behind if we go. I’m leavin’ behind a helluva lot more.” Nenda watched as Atvar H’sial’s trumpet horns turned to focus on Darya Lang. “Don’t get me wrong. What I mean is, I’m at least as close to Kallik as you are to J’merlia, and I’ll be leavin’ her behind.” He sighed. “But a deal’s a deal.”

Atvar H’sial scanned Nenda, J’merlia, and Darya Lang for a long time before she nodded. “We will all suffer, but we cannot take them. And if we do not leave now , who knows when our chance will come? The separation with J’merlia and Kallik — or with anyone else — will surely be as brief as we can make it. But even so, if we are going, then I would prefer to go — at once.”