Roger Taylor - The Return of the Sword

‘Can you tell us what happened?’ Jenna asked softly.

‘I must learn about this thing inside me,’ Farnor went on as if he had not heard her. He turned towards where the apparition had appeared. ‘And that. All that out there.’ He looked around the watching group, his face desperate. ‘I’m so frightened. They’ll be able to help me, these people we’re going to see, Hawklan, Andawyr?’

‘More than we can,’ Yengar replied. ‘And it frightened all of us, don’t fret about that. At least there doesn’t seem to be any danger now – if there ever was.’

‘There was.’ Farnor’s tone was unequivocal.

‘Well, it’s gone. In fact there’s no sign that anything was ever here. Are you all right now, in yourself?’ As he spoke, Yengar put his hand on Farnor’s forehead, then tested pulses in his neck.

Farnor paid no heed to the inspection, but looked down at his hands. They were trembling and he was obviously struggling to gain control over himself. Yengar’s expression telling them that he could find nothing immediately untoward in the young man, the four Goraidin exchanged a look and turned to their own needs.

‘What did we each see?’ Olvric asked. ‘Marna?’

Marna started slightly at being drawn into this conversation. She was still rubbing her arms slowly, though the tingling had long passed. ‘What did you see?’ Olvric pressed.

Hesitantly, she described the greyness and the rider – perhaps riders – and their vanishing as the greyness had closed about them.

‘That’s what I saw too,’ Olvric said when she had finished. The others concurred. ‘Well done,’ he said to her. ‘At least we know that it was something outside ourselves. One of us having an hallucination is one thing, but five of us sharing it is unlikely, to say the least.’

‘But what was it?’ Marna burst out, her voice shaking.

Olvric became wilfully instructive. ‘First, we need to be clear what we saw and heard. Then what we felt. Then perhaps we can speculate.’ He took her hands and held them. He was unexpectedly gentle. ‘Seeing things as they are is rarely easy, but it’s invariably our greatest protection. It’ll be yours too in due course. You’ve a clear vision. Clearer than you know. It’s a great asset.’ He released her. ‘Why were you rubbing your arms like that?’

Marna told him. This time when Olvric turned to the others he was greeted by head-shaking. Yengar summarized their responses. ‘I didn’t hear anything – or feel anything unusual – apart from being frightened out of my wits.’

Olvric looked thoughtful. ‘It’s possible you’ve some distant kinship with Farnor back along the line,’ he said. ‘Maybe that’s something to do with it. Anyway, just remember what it felt like. It’ll help you if it happens again.’

‘Happens again!’

‘Why not?’

Marna went cold, though whether it was the prospect of the riders returning or Olvric’s casual acceptance of the possibility, she could not have said. Olvric was talking to Farnor. ‘How are you now? Can you tell us what happened?’

The fire was casting deep shadows on Farnor’s face, ageing him. He held out his hands again. They were still now. ‘I saw what you saw,’ he said. ‘But what I felt I can’t begin to describe. It’s as though every part of me was filled with rage and horror – except that it’s not just me, it’s parts of me I know nothing of. I’m sorry.’ He smiled weakly.

Yengar snatched at an idea.

‘Was that what happened when you destroyed Rannick?’ he asked.

‘It was similar, yes,’ Farnor replied. ‘Though that was far more… intense. This felt… crude, forced, even more unnatural, if such a thing were possible. And whatever it is inside me that reached out to put it right was opposed again…’ He paused. ‘Just like last night. Something was fighting to keep it open. That didn’t happen when Rannick was lost. And what I saw then was very different.’ He pressed his fingertips against his forehead. ‘It was as though I were seeing with my entire body. I “saw” sights that can’t be seen just with the eyes. I know that sounds ridiculous, but that’s how it was.’ He became almost scornful and his hand waved out into the darkness. ‘But this was just out there. A hole deliberately torn into this place from… somewhere else… and riders struggling to come through.’

‘Marna thought she heard – or she sensed – a cry. Did you hear anything?’

Farnor touched his head again. ‘Yes, but nothing I could identify.’ He shuddered. ‘Just a dreadful sound in my head. Full of triumph, then anger and hate.’

‘And you still don’t know how you… reach out… and end these things?’

Farnor shook his head slowly. ‘Nothing. Nothing at all.’ Suddenly his hand seized Yengar’s wrist and his face was contorted with anger as he voiced again his own desperate need. ‘We have to find out about all of this as soon as possible. I can’t begin to imagine who or what just tried to come into this place, or why they’d want to be here, but they don’t belong .’

‘How can you know that?’ It was Yrain. ‘It was alarming but that’s because it was strange – unexpected. We don’t know those riders meant any harm. Perhaps, wherever they are, they’re just wanderers like ourselves. People who suddenly found themselves confronted by a mysterious phenomenon and…’

Both Marna and Farnor were shaking their heads.

‘There was malice there,’ Farnor said with a quietness more telling than any ranting declamation. ‘Just by being here they’ll bring harm.’ It was he now who became instructive. ‘Their not belonging here is harmful in itself. It was reaching out into other worlds – places where he didn’t belong – in search of the power he wanted that destroyed Rannick. It’s so wrong – so dangerous. And while some part of me has sealed these… rips, tears, doorways, whatever they are… so far, I don’t know what I’m doing. I know less about it than my horse knows about flying.’ His anger returned. ‘And I refuse to tolerate the helplessness of standing by vaguely while something else makes use of me, whether it’s for good or bad!’

‘Maybe these people at Anderras Darion can get rid of whatever’s inside you,’ Marna offered.

Farnor turned on her, but both guilt and despair flitted across his face when he saw her flinch away from him. ‘It’s not something that can be taken away, Marna. I know that much about it. There’s nothing I’d like more than for all this to go away and for everything to be as it was. But that’s not going to happen.’ He flicked an almost dismissive hand towards Olvric. ‘It’s like he says, we’re safer seeing things the way they are. Not that I didn’t know that already.’ He gave a cold laugh. ‘Another learning, eh? All lessons have to be learned and relearned over and over.’ Then he squeezed Marna’s hand affectionately, in a manner quite at odds with his demeanour. ‘And the way things are, someone or something deliberately tried to tear its way into this world; someone or something that doesn’t belong here and that can only bring harm, like Rannick.’ He paused and took a deep breath. His tone was bleak. ‘And for some reason, I can’t walk away, any more than I could from Rannick. Perhaps it’s because it’s the right thing to do. Perhaps it’s because I think they’ll follow me anyway. I think – I know – they’re frightened of me. I threaten them in some way. Given that, I don’t seem to have any choice but to understand what I really am.’

He fell silent, and no one spoke for a long time.

‘I’m going to bed,’ he said eventually. ‘I need to be alone for a while – to think.’ He smiled ruefully at Olvric. ‘I’ll wake you if anything happens this time.’