Hugh Cook: The Wordsmiths and the Warguild

"Boy," said the stranger, "we came down here looking for a way out. We found this blue bottle in this hole. We think perhaps it's a magic bottle. We were on our hands and knees looking for the ring which might command it. The bars trapped us."

"You didn't find the ring?"

"No, boy," said the stranger. He held up a small casket, marked with the sign of a heart and a hand. "Just this."

"I want that!" said Togura sharply.

It was another magic casket. Inside, there should by rights be another index.

"Then you shall have it," said the stranger. "Once we have given you our assurances, and you have let us out of here. I will give you my assurances first. My name is Guest Gulkan. I am the rightful heir to the leadership of the Yarglat horsetribes, the rightful heir to the rule of Tameran. I swear, by the secret name of the Horse who was Horse, by the blood of the Rider who was Rider, by the Witness within the Wind and by the Witness beyond the Wind, by the honour of my dynasty and by the honour of my own heartbeat's blood, that I will do you no harm."

"And," said Togura, "that you will yield up that casket."

"I will," said Guest Gulkan of Tameran.

"And," said Togura, "that you will help me kill my half-brother Cromarty."

"Sure," said Guest Gulkan, unable to conceal his contempt for a man who could not do his own killing. "And rape your half-sister, too, if that's your requirement."

"I've got a rightful claim to Cromarty's head!" shouted Togura.

"Peace, boy," said Guest Gulkan, his voice soothing. "I'm sure you have. Once we're out, you can tell us all about it. Draven, give the boy your assurances. Come on now!"

"I swear to your safety," muttered Draven. "By a pirate's honour."

"Pirate's honour!" said Togura. "What kind of honour is that? I saved your life once, and you had me thrown overboard to sea serpents. I showed you how to get control of your ship at Androlmarphos and got precious little thanks afterwards. And what kind of honour did you show – "

"That's enough!" said Guest Gulkan. "I'll vouch for him. He'll honour his oath or my steel will dishonour his neck."

Togura bowed.

"You, my lord," said Togura, "I trust."

And Togura began to hunt around for some way to open the cage. He explored the bars of the cage, then the surrounding walls, where he found a little catch hidden in a small indentation. He pulled it. The cage opened. Draven and Guest Gulkan came out, Draven scowling, Guest Gulkan smiling.

"Here," said Guest Gulkan, handing Togura the magic casket. "Here's the first part of my oath fulfilled."

"Thank you," said Togura.

At that moment, a wall of rock crashed down, blocking the way up the stairs.

"Grief!" said Draven.

The wall growled. And began to grind its way toward them. Its entire surface came alive: became a seething mass of grinding graunching teeth.

"Yaa-hoo!" screamed Guest Gulkan, drawing his sword and attacking the wall.

It munched his steel without faltering and continued to chomp its way toward them. Togura turned the ring on his finger, once, then again, then again, trying to get out of the green bottle. But it was useless. He was trapped.

He was going to die.

Raging at his death, Togura, screaming, picked up the blue bottle Guest Gulkan had dropped, and threw it at the wall.

The wall munched into it.

The teeth faltered.

The teeth closed around the blue bottle and began to vibrate. The bottle began to crack. So did the teeth. Suddenly the bottle shattered. The teeth, uncoordinated, began to chatter. The wall tried to continue its advance. But something was wrong. It was vibrating badly. As they watched, it shook itself to bits.

And, suddenly, with a roar, all the walls around split open. Gravity shifted. They were flung head over heels and spilt out through a crack, landing in the mud and muck and detritus amongst the pinnacles at the foot of Dead Man's Drop.

"By the blood of a weeping virgin!" muttered Draven, looking around. "Where are we?"

Arching overhead was a huge, curved green wall, with gaping cracks in it, some big enough to permit a mammoth entrance and egress. It rose at least three hundred or so paces high, and seemed to curve away for the better part of a league or so.

"I think," said Guest Gulkan, quietly, "we're looking at the wreckage of the green bottle. I think we broke it open by smashing the blue bottle inside it."

"Well, right or wrong," said Draven, "we're out. What now?"

Togura salvaged the magic casket from the mud at his feet. He spoke the Word. The casket opened. Inside was a triple-harp – or, to call it by its other name, an index.

"Now," said Togura, with determination, "we've got to set the world to rights. First by taking revenge!"

"First," said Guest Gulkan, "we've got to get our hands on some weapons. And a meal before that, if possible."

"Come," said Togura. "We're going up there. See? It's a long walk, and we've not much daylight left – but I know what to do when we get there."

He explained all as they went along.

It would probably be night by the time they had traversed the roundabout roads leading back to Keep. Their first move then would be to go to see Raznak the Golsh, of the Suet clan, who would be sure to provide them with weapons, a meal, a bed for the night, and, if necessary, with reinforcements.

The story of how Togura Poulaan encompassed the death of his half-brother Cromarty would not be a pretty tale. It was a singularly sanguinary event. Suffice it to say that the pigs got his kidneys, his thighs went for dogmeat and the rats managed to make off with his eyes.

Shortly afterwards, there was another death when Togura retrieved Day Suet and the Zenjingu fighter from the index. Guest Gulkan met the Zenjingu fighter, blade against blade, killed him, then hacked off his head.

"All's well that ends well," said Togura, "with some considerable degree of satisfaction. "Hello, Day, my love."

"Who are you?" she said blankly.

"Togura! Your true love, minx! Your questing hero!"

Day Suet, when finally persuaded that the bearded, limping, scar-faced young stranger was Togura Poulaan, fell into his arms, and they made passionate love to each other forthwith. That is, they kissed and they cuddled: copulation would have to be delayed until a more opportune moment.

For the moment, Togura had a practical problem to deal with: how to stop the odex, which was still spitting out junk, rubbish, dead dogs, rats, rotten potatoes and assorted articles of disgrace. He did not want to smash the triple-harp. He was sure there had to be a way of stopping it without destroying it. But how?

He talked to it, shook it, tried to conjure his own independent music from it – all to no avail. Finally, in desperation, he threw it into the odex. His experiment paid immediate dividends. The odex spat out the index and the index was silent.

Togura had learnt how to start it, and how to stop it. Finer control might come with time: he would see. For the moment, he had other things to attend to.

"Kiss me," said Day Suet.

And he did.

Three days later, they were married. After riotous festivities which lasted from dawn to sunset, they retired to a house in Keep which had been lent to them by Raznak the Golsh. There Togura and his true love Day stripped each other naked; there they engaged in marital combat.

Shortly, Togura, outraged, was thinking:

– Is that all?

"You were wonderful," said Day, nuzzling against him.

She spoke with such ardour and conviction that he almost let him believe her. As she fondled his body with her hot little hands, soothing his ego with her voice, he heard an ominous sound of rupture and breakage at street level.

Who could it be?