Hugh Cook: The women and the warlords

The original plan, concocted by the Ondrask, had its dubious aspects. Chonjara, having promised to support Monogail as empress, was supposed to rally an army under his own command. The Ondrask thought at least half the Collosnon forces would come to Chonjara's banner.

Morgan Hearst was supposed to raise a mercenary army from his western homeland of Rovac, to support the forces loyal to the Ondrask and Chonjara. Hearst was to be given Monogail's hand in marriage, so that when Monogail attained her maturity she would be wife of the emperor. That guarantee of power and influence was supposed to convince him that it was in his best interests to support their cause.

But, as Yerzerdayla pointed out, this plan had its defects. Initially, it would make Chonjara the most powerful man in Tameran. Given such power, he would be unlikely to relinquish it. And even if he did – what mother in her right mind would want to marry her daughter to Morgan Hearst, a man of no character.

Watashi was the best choice as supreme commander. He was not of the Yarglat, so he would need to come to Tameran as Monogail's general if he was to hope to command the assent of the most powerful Collosnon military commanders, who were all Yarglat clansmen. For Watashi, Monogail would always be indispensable. Stokos was too small and too far away to hope to conquer Tameran, but Stokos was hungry enough and populous enough to provide at least one army to contend against any other powers – such as Onosh Gulkan, the Witchlord – which chose to try for the throne of Tameran.

Hearst, bribed with the prospect of ultimately controlling the west of Argan, could be counted on to provide a second army. If he hesitated, Watashi could offer to bankroll that mercenary army – Stokos was small and hungry, but its gold reserves were substantial.

Yerzerdayla and Yen Olass schemed together, then dickered with Hearst and Watashi, then presented Losh Negis and Chonjara with an ultimatum: they could swear themselves to Monogail's cause, or leave their bones on the Greater Teeth.

They swore their oaths of allegiance.

'But what about you and me?' said the Ondrask. 'What happens between us, now?’

'That,' said Yen Olass, 'remains to be seen.’

She thought about it in the days that followed, as they forced the Lord Emperor Celadric to sign papers formalizing his abdication in favour of Monogail, as they drafted letters demanding that hostages be sent to the Greater Teeth, as they received the garrison commander of Garabatoon and accepted his oath of allegiance.

The Ondrask had changed over the years. Losh Negis was both more and less than the man she had seen so long ago in the cave to the north of the hunting lodge near Gendormargensis. She had seen him compromise his dignity by capering around on all fours, playing a part in a farce organized by Celadric. But then, too, she had seen him attacking Nan Nulador with a battle hammer. A rash act, no doubt, and probably one prompted more by hatred of Celadric than by love of Yen Olass. Still, the fact remained – he had saved the life of her child.

And, as the days went by, he did his best to show his respect for her. He had his hair washed and cut, and his fingernails trimmed and cleaned. He had seven rotten teeth pulled out. His breath came to smell like apples. He courted her assiduously. Yen Olass was nattered by his attentions. But before she could take him seriously, there was one personal defect he would have to remedy – he would have to learn to wash.

She was still trying to think of a tactful way to put it to him when they arrived at the Lesser Teeth. She dropped several hints, but he took none of them – he seemed oblivious to them. So, in the end, she decided to be direct.

The Ondrask met her one afternoon on her direction. He wore his usual stinking clothes and his body stank as always. Yen Olass smiled, kissed him, took him firmly by the hand, and led him, not to the bed which he had been hoping for, but to a large room with a sunken pool in the middle. The pool was filled with steaming water.

There were six hefty washerwomen standing round the pool, waiting. They were armed – no expense had been spared – with sponges, lemons, soap, body oil, body scrapers, cloths, towels and pumice stone. The Ondrask regarded them with some apprehension, then went and took a good look at the pool.

'What's that?' he said.

'A bath,' said Yen Olass.

And she pushed him into it.

While the Ondrask of Noth was enduring the very first bath of his life, Yen Olass went to check on Monogail, to see how she was settling back in. They would be staying on the Lesser Teeth for a little while yet, until they had the ships and the soldiers they needed to move on Tameran.

Yen Olass found Monogail very excited; she had something she wanted to show her mother urgently.

'Mam! Mam! Come and see! Straffs had a baby! So's Alamanda!’

Yen Olass doubted it, but allowed herself to be dragged along to see. Monogail led the way into her bedroom.

'Here,' said Monogail, drawing her to the big earthenware dish of rocks and weed and water. 'Baby ones! Look!’

Peering into this aqueous paradise, Yen Olass saw a tiny

tiny fish sharing the dish with Straff, and a tiny tiny frog occupying a rock with Alamanda. She wondered who had arranged this present for her daughter. 'Baby ones! See!’

'Immaculate conception, huh?' said Yen Olass. 'What's immaculate, mam?’

'We'll say it means perfect,' said Yen Olass, and hugged the child who – no matter who or what the father might be – was most definitely hers.