Элисон Ноэль: Shadowland

I press my lips together and peer at him standing before me so silent and still. Sighing as he gazes into my eyes and telepathically traces his fingers along the curve of my cheek—creating an image so deliberate, so palpable, it almost seems real.

“I’m sorry,” he says, thumb mentally smoothing my chin. “I’m sorry I was so shut down and unwilling to share that I reduced you to that. But even though it happened a long time ago, it’s still something I prefer not to discuss.”

I nod, having no intention of pushing it. His witnessing his parents’ murder followed by years of abuse at the hands of the church is not a subject I intend to pursue.

“But there’s more,” I say, hoping I can maybe restore a little hope by sharing something else that I learned. “When I was watching your life unfold, at the end, Roman had killed you. But even though that seemed fated to happen, I still managed to save you.” I gaze at him, sensing he’s far from convinced and rushing ahead before I lose him completely. “I mean, yeah, maybe our fate is sometimes fixed and unchangeable, but there are other times when it’s shaped purely by the actions we take. So when I couldn’t save my family by going back in time, it’s only because that was a destiny that couldn’t be changed. Or as Riley said seconds before the second accident that took them again, ‘ You can’t change the past, it just is. ’ But when I found myself right back here in Laguna, and I was able to save you, well, I think it proves that the future isn’t always concrete, not everything is ruled solely by fate.”

“Maybe so.” He sighs, gaze fixed on mine. “But you can’t escape karma, Ever. It is what it is. It doesn’t judge, it’s neither good nor bad like most people think. It’s the result of all actions, positive and negative—a constant balancing of events—cause and effect—tit for tat—reaping and sowing—what goes around comes around.” He shrugs. “However you phrase it, it’s the same in the end. And as much as you’d like to think otherwise, that’s exactly what’s happening here. All actions cause a reaction. And this is where my actions have brought me .” He shakes his head. “All this time I told myself I turned you out of love—but now I see it was really out of selfishness—because I couldn’t be without you. That’s why this is happening now.”

“So, that’s it?” I shake my head, hardly believing he’s determined to give up so easily. “That’s how it ends? You’re just so dang sure you’ve been chased down by karma you don’t even try to fight back? You came all this way just so we could be together and now that we’re facing an obstacle, you’re not even going to try to scale the brick wall in our path?”

“Ever.” His gaze is warm, loving, all-encompassing, but it does nothing to cancel the defeat in his voice. “I’m sorry, but there are some things I just know .”

“Yeah, well . . .” I shake my head and gaze down at the ground, burying my toes deep in the sand. “Just because you’ve got a few centuries on me doesn’t mean you get the last word. Because if we’re truly in this together, if our lives, like our fate, is truly entwined, then you’ll realize this isn’t just happening to you , I’m part of it too. And you don’t get to walk away from it—you don’t get to walk away from me ! We’ve got to work together! There has to be a way—” I stop, body shaking, throat closed so tight I can no longer speak. All I can do is stand there before him, silently urging him to join me in a fight I’m not sure we can win.

“I’ve no plans to leave you,” he says, gaze filled with the longing of four hundred years. “I can’t leave you, Ever. Believe me, I’ve tried. But in the end, I always find my way back to your side. You’re all I’ve ever wanted—all I’ve ever loved—but Ever—”

“No buts .” I shake my head, wishing I could hold him, touch him, press my body tightly against his. “There’s got to be a way, some kind of cure. And together we’ll find it. I just know that we will. We’ve come too far to let Roman keep us apart. But I can’t do it alone. Not without your help. So please promise me—promise you’ll try.”

He looks at me, his gaze luring me in. Closing his eyes as he fills the beach with so many tulips the entire cove is bursting with waxy red petals atop green curving stems—the ultimate symbol of our undying love covering every square inch of sand.

Then he slips his arm through mine and leads me back to his car. Our skin separated only by his supple black leather jacket and my organic cotton tee. Enough to spare the consequences of any accidental DNA exchange, but unable to temper the tingle and heat that pulsates between us.

CHAPTER 3

“Guess what?”

Miles gazes at me as he climbs into my car, big brown eyes wider than usual, cute baby face curving into a grin. “No, you know what? Don’t guess. I’ll just tell you, ’cause you’re never gonna believe it! You’re never gonna guess!”

I smile, hearing his thoughts a few moments before he can speak them, refraining from saying: You’re going to acting camp in Italy! Just moments before he says, “I’m going to acting camp in Italy! No, correction, make that Florence , Italy! Home of Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Raphael—”

And your good friend Damen Auguste, who actually knew all of those artists!

“I’ve known about the possibility for a few weeks but it just became official last night and I still can’t believe it! Eight weeks in Florence, doing nothing but acting, eating, and stalking smoldering hot Italian men . . .”

I glance at him as I back out of his drive. “And Holt’s good with all that?”

Miles looks at me. “Hey, you know the drill. What happens in Italy stays in Italy.”

Except when it doesn’t. My thoughts drifting to Drina and Roman, wondering how many more immortal rogues are still out there, just waiting to show up in Laguna Beach and terrorize me.

“Anyway, I’m leaving soon, just after school gets out. And I have so much to prepare between now and then! Oh, and I almost forgot the best part—well—one of the best parts. As it just so happens it all works out perfectly since my Hairspray run ends the week before I leave, so I’ll still get my final bow as Tracy Turnblad—I mean, seriously, how perfect is that?”

“Seriously perfect.” I smile. “Really. Congrats. That’s so cool. And well deserved I might add. I only wish I could go with you.”

And the moment I say it, I realize it’s true. It would be so nice to escape all my problems, board a plane and fly away from all this. Besides, I miss hanging with Miles. The last few weeks when he and Haven (along with the rest of the school) were under Roman’s spell were some of the loneliest days of my life. Not having Damen beside me was more than I could bear, but not having the support of my two best friends nearly sent me over the edge. But Miles and Haven don’t remember any of that, none of them do. Only Damen can access small bits and pieces, and what he recalls leaves him feeling terribly guilty.

“I wish you could come too,” he says, messing with my car stereo, trying to find just the right soundtrack to match his good mood. “Maybe after graduation we can all go to Europe! We can get Eurail passes, stay in youth hostels, backpack around—how cool would that be? Just the six of us, you know, you and Damen, Haven and Josh, and me and whoever . . .”

“You and whoever ?” I glance at him. “What’s that about?”

“I’m a realist.” He shrugs.