Бри Деспейн - The Lost Saint

“Then how did you know he’s back?”

“Because …” Her gaze shifted toward her computer again.

“You overheard my conversation with Daniel yesterday morning, didn’t you?”

April looked down at her hands.

That was the thing that had been bugging me all morning. The way April had been acting yesterday, I was pretty sure she’d overheard what

Daniel and I had said about Jude’s being back. And she seemed only mildly surprised. Then it seemed like she’d wanted to tell me something important, reconsidered, and now was trying to hide that something from me.

“Jude called me from inside Daniel’s apartment. He was back here in Rose Crest two nights ago, but you already knew that, didn’t you?”

“He called you?” April folded her arms and leaned against her desk, the top of which was littered with beads, what I assumed were fake gems, metal charms, and what looked like fishing line. There were even a pair of little pliers and a large magnifying glass. “I don’t believe that.”

“Why? He’s my brother.”

“Because you’re the reason he left.”

“I know.” I couldn’t help rubbing the scar that hid under my sleeve. I’d always figured Jude left because of what he did to me.

“After what you did to him, I’m surprised he’d ever want to talk to you again.” April put her hands on her hips. “I know I didn’t.”

“Wait, what I did to him?” I asked.

All this time I thought April had been avoiding me because she was still freaked out by all the things she saw in the parish that terrible night, but it was really because she blamed me for Jude’s leaving?

“He told me he left because you betrayed him for Daniel,” April said. “Daniel tried to kill your own brother, and you still sided with that stupid dog boy. You and your dad act like Daniel’s some sort of angel, but he’s really just a wolf in sheep’s clothing.” April picked up a purple bead from her desk and held it between her thumb and forefinger. “I know what Daniel is, Grace. And I know what he did to Jude.”

Dog boy. Wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“How?” I asked. I wondered just how much Jude had told her about what had happened—or at least his version of it.

“Jude always called him a monster. At first, I thought he was being metaphorical. But then I saw Daniel turn from a wolf into a person in the parish, when you pulled that knife from his chest. I’m not completely stupid. It didn’t take a lot to figure out that he’s a werewolf.”

“Was,” I corrected her. “He’s been cured. And I’ve forgiven him for the things he did while he was under the influence of the wolf. If Jude had been capable of that, then he wouldn’t be where he is now.”

April stared at the bead she held in her fingers. She bit her lip.

“Do you know about Jude, then?” I asked tentatively. “What really happened to him?”

“He’s a werewolf now, too. Because of what Daniel did to him. Jude said he was going through changes, and I figured it out on my own. You’ve always treated me like I was dumb or something. You’ve never given me enough credit, but at least Jude does. He trusts me.”

Whoa. Maybe I hadn’t given April enough credit. She knew my family’s secret, and still she was standing here talking to me? And I’d always thought that Jude’s interest in April was based purely on rebounding from his emotions—but if he’d been in contact with her since he left, then maybe I’d been wrong about their relationship. But the most important part of that thought was that April had been in contact with Jude.

“So you have talked to Jude since he’s left?” I asked.

April used her finger to roll the bead around in the palm of her hand.

“I know you care about him, April. I care about him, too. I think he’s in trouble, and all I want to do is bring him home.”

“He has a new home,” April said. “He told me that he found a new home, and a new family who wouldn’t turn their backs on him the way you did.

But the way he talked about them … I don’t know, Grace. They sound dangerous. Not like a real family at all. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were involved in what happened at Day’s Market.”

I put my hand over my mouth. What had my brother gotten himself into?

April placed the bead carefully on the table and then looked up at me. “I knew he was in the city, but I honestly didn’t think he’d come here.”

“So you’ve known all along where Jude is, and you haven’t told anyone? Do you know how hard my dad’s been looking for him?”

“I haven’t known all along,” she said. “He sends me emails every once in a while. I can’t respond to them or anything. My messages just bounce right back.”

I nodded. I used to send a daily email to Jude at his school address, asking him to come home, but I gave up after a while when my messages kept bouncing back to me. “And he told you where he is?”

“No, he never said anything about his location. But I think I’ve traced him.”

My eyebrows went up involuntarily. “You know how to trace emails?”

“No. But I do know how to trace blog comments. Check this out.” April sat on her desk chair and wiggled her computer mouse. Her screen came to life and she logged on to the Internet. “In addition to the emails, I started to get some random, anonymous comments on my blog a couple of months ago. After a while I figured out it was Jude.”

“Your blog?” Jude had been hiding from everyone in his family, yet he’d had time to comment on April’s blog? I didn’t even know she had a blog.

“I design jewelry”—April pointed at the stuff on her desk—“and sell it on a blog.” She pointed at her computer. There was a blog pulled up on the screen with pink swirls around a banner that said APRIL SHOWERS JEWELRY and then pictures of rings, necklaces, and bracelets.

“I didn’t know.” But now that I thought about it, whenever I saw April lately, it seemed she had a new necklace or bracelet. They were beautiful. “I guess that kind of happens when somebody stops talking to you.”

April shrugged. “Anyway, like I said, I started getting these anonymous comments on my blog, and they all seemed like they were from the same person. Like when I posted a pic of this necklace.” She clicked on a picture of a tree-shaped pendant. It was the same necklace she wore now. “I got this comment.” She scrolled down a bit and hovered the cursor over the comment. “I don’t know how this could be from anyone other than Jude.

It’s the last thing I’ve heard from him.”

I leaned over her shoulder and read the comment.

Anonymous said:

Beautiful. This looks just like the walnut tree outside my old house. Sometimes I wish I could see it again from the porch swing where we used to sit together. But that won’t ever happen again, will it? Not after what they did to me.

My heart tightened in my chest, and I looked away from the words. The first two lines had sounded so much like the old Jude, but the rest stung too much to read again.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but that comment had a time stamp of three a.m. on September twenty-fifth. Three weeks ago.” I heard the click of a mouse and when I looked back at the screen, she was on a new website. “This is my stat counter. It shows where my blog visitors come from.” She clicked on something else, and it pulled up a list of times and dates and locations. “You can see from this that the only person who visited my blog at three a.m. on September twenty-fifth was located in the city.”

“Wow, that’s really possible to see?” I fingered my moonstone necklace. It always pulsed with a warm vibration. To me, it meant hope. But then I let go of the pendant and sighed. “But Jude could still be anywhere. The city’s a big place.”