Элисон Ноэль - Dark Flame

"We're not trying to pick a fight with you, Haven. We're trying to protect you. It's for your own good."

"Because I need protecting? Because I'm too dumb to figure stuff out for myself?" Her gaze darts between us, and when Damen sighs in frustration, her eyes grow cold. Then she nods, grips the box tighter, and stands. "I wish I could believe you, but the thing is, I just can't. Because you're the one holding something back, Ever-I can feel it. And even though I have no idea what it is, one thing's pathetically clear-you're jealous." Her lip curls when she adds, "Yep, believe it or not, perfect Ever Bloom is jealous of me-little Haven Turner."

She shakes her head. "How's that for a change of events?"

I stiffen but continue to stand there, not saying a word.

"You're used to being top dog around here. The smartest, the prettiest, the most perfect at everything, with the most perfect, smartest, sexiest boyfriend." She smiles at Damen, then shrugs and laughs when he fails to return her smile. "And now that I'm immortal like you, it's just a matter of time until I catch up-until I'm perfect too. And the fact is, you can't stand it. Can't stand the thought of it. But the funny part, the ironic part is, in the end, you have only yourself to blame, since you're the one who made me this way. And even though you claim you'd make the same decision all over again, I can't help but think you liked me better before. Back when I was a pathetic, little, attention-starved wannabe-the loser who ate too many cupcakes and made up stuff at anonymous meetings." She shrugs, shoulders rising and falling with such confidence, such arrogance, it's clear she's no longer that girl.

"Don't bother denying it, I know those are the weaknesses you were referring to. It's pretty obvious how superior you've always felt to Miles and me. Like you were deigning to hang with us until something better came your way-" "That's not true-you're my best friends-my-" "Please." She rolls her eyes, clucking her tongue against her cheek in the same way Roman does. "Spare me your heartfelt declarations. The moment the Italian stallion came along"-she nods at Damen-"we pretty much only saw you at lunch, and sometimes not even then, since the perfect little couple was too busy with their perfect little lives, and their perfect little love, to hang with such unperfect dorks like us.

We were just the losers you kept on standby-just in case you might need us someday. But now it looks like you're in for a long and lonely summer cuz Miles is headed for Florence, and I made some new friends who aren't the slightest bit intimidated by the new me."

"Haven-this is crazy! How can you even say these things?"

I ask, as my eyes rake over her, taking her in. Even though she's just as teeny as ever, even though she hasn't grown even the slightest bit, it's like her diminutive stature is somehow more pronounced-more toned, more sinewy, like she's a tiny black panther in black leather leggings, lacy black shirt, and tall spiky black boots. And though she's gotten mad at me before, this time is different-she's different. Now she's dangerous, and knows it, and likes it that way.

"How can I say it?" she mocks, eyes narrowed into slits.

"Because it's true, that's how." She dumps the box into Damen's arms, assuming he'll catch it as she heads for the door, glancing over her shoulder to say, "You can keep your elixir. I've got my own source. And trust me, he'll be more than happy to teach me all the things that you won't."

Damen turns toward me, the word trouble coursing from his mind to mine.

But I just stand there, so stunned I have no idea where to take it from here.

"I knew she'd be a problem." He shakes his head and drops onto the couch. "She's too fragile, too volatile, she won't be able to handle any of this. She'll be consumed with power before long, just wait."

"Wait?" I perch on the armrest beside him. "Are you serious? Wait for what? You think it's actually gonna get worse than what we just saw?"

He nods, making a great effort to withhold the I told you so gaze. But it's not like it matters. We both know I'm the one responsible for this mess.

I sigh, sliding off the armrest and toppling onto him.

Knowing I have to do something-take control of this situation before it gets any worse-but having no idea what that something is. Every decision I've made up to this point has only made everything worse. And I'm just so tired-so drained-all I want to do is take a nice long peaceful nap where Roman can't enter my dreams.

Roman.

The name reverberating from my mind to his, and when he looks at me, I know it's too late-I know that he sensed it.

"Why'd you change your mind?" He studies me closely, seeking the truth behind the look in my eyes, the words on my tongue. "Why'd you tell her to avoid him?"

"Because you were right," I mumble, hating the lie I'm about to tell. "It was a selfish thing to do-to put her in that kind of danger just so we could benefit-" I shake my head, allowing my hair to fall onto my face in a way that obscures it.

Because the truth is, I'm worried I didn't do it for her.

I'm worried I tried to keep her from Roman, so there'd be more room for me.

I remain like that, face hidden as I struggle to pull myself together, summon up some small glimmer of the old me.

Finally lifting my head only to find his brow creased with worry, as his hand squeezes my knee.

"Hey, take it easy," he says, voice soft and low. "Don't be so hard on yourself. So, we've entered a bit of a glitch, we'll get through it. We still have each other, right? That's all that matters in the big scheme of things. As for everything else-we'll find a way-I promise we will."

"Do we?" I look at him, my eyes going wide when I realize what I just said, having meant to say will we-meant to question the part about finding a way and not the part about us having each other.

He looks at me, clearly disturbed by my words. "I thought that was a given. Am I wrong?"

I swallow hard and reach for his hand, watching as the slim veil of energy dances between his palm and mine, holding back the words until I can trust my voice again. "You're not wrong," I whisper. "You're the best thing in my life-the only thing that truly matters." Repeating the words that I know for sure to be true, just wishing I could feel them in the same way that I used to.

But Damen's not buying it, he knows me too well-having witnessed a million different mood swings, a gazillion different voice inflections and avoidance techniques over the last four hundred years-and that's just counting mine.

"Ever, is something wrong? You've been acting strange ever since-" I look at him, my voice sharp, edgy, cutting in when I say, "Ever since I made you drink the elixir that turned our touch lethal?"

He shakes his head.

"Ever since I turned Haven into an immortal?"

He shakes his head again, this time pressing his finger to my lips, quieting me when he says, "I wasn't referring to any of those things. You made the best decisions you could under the circumstances you found yourself in. I've no right to fault you for that. What I was going to say is you've been acting strange ever since you started delving into magick. You seem preoccupied, distracted, like you're never fully present anymore. And I'm worried about you, wondering if you've gotten in over your head, and if so, how I might help."

I look into his eyes, and there's so much hope and tenderness there that I can't bring myself to confess what I've been feeling for Roman. The thought alone is too gruesome. "I admit, I got into a little bind. And while I'd rather not go into all the details, it's better now. Romy and Rayne showed me how to undo it, and it's all-good. You just have to trust me."