Maria Snyder - Sea Glass

“Those escape attempts failed and now a man’s life is in danger. Real inspiring,” I said.

“You’re stalling. Get changed or I’ll make you.”

I turned my back to him and put on the baggy coverall. It was sized for a man. I piled my clothes. No real loss, since I gave the last of my picks to Tricky. If I lived through this, I would have to conceal more weapons on my person. Big if.

When I finished, I met his gaze. Those blue eyes appraised me with cold calculation, which was better than lust. With his increase of blood magic, his soul now matched Devlen’s body and seeing him no longer shocked me. I wondered if Devlen’s soul had also transformed.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“I miss Ulrick. The real Ulrick who wanted to assign a battalion of guards to protect me.”

“That lovesick puppy dog?” He spat the words out. “Good riddance to him.” Ulrick leaned back in his chair. “I guess I should thank you. If it wasn’t for your rejection, I’d still be that weak whiner.”

Wonderful. Another screwup courtesy of Opal. Lives ruined while you wait. How many people had I harmed so far? Too many to count. “I made a mess of things.”

“Yep. Sit down.”

I plopped in the chair in front of his desk. Talking to him was better than being locked in the dark.

“Who’s your friend?” he asked.

I saw no reason to lie and wanted to spare Janco from being interrogated with magic. “An Ixian named Janco. He’s working for me. No one knows he’s here.”

He huffed in amusement. “Right. I shouldn’t have bothered. No worries. Tricky is very good at reading minds.” He appraised me. “You know what’s going to happen next. Don’t you?”

“You’ll take my blood and force me to make messengers for Gressa.”

“Force how?”

I stared at him. “You need ideas?”

He laughed. “Guess not. Although you could tell me which one would be most effective?”

“No.”

“Why don’t we skip it. You know you’ll give in. You might have changed, but you still care.”

“I don’t care,” I said. “Not anymore. Everyone has either lied, betrayed or hurt me.”

“If you didn’t care then why did you spend all that extra time rescuing Tama and Faith?”

“Because I thought I’d use them. Put them in the line of fire so I could escape.” I swept my hand out as if dismissing their deaths as an unfortunate side effect.

“Nice try. If I really believed that, I’d try to recruit you.” He tapped his fingers on the desk as he considered. “You know Gressa will send Devlen.”

Instinctively, I shuddered.

“He doesn’t need to threaten the ladies or your Ixian friend to get you to cooperate.”

“I know.”

“Then why endure the torture?” Ulrick’s curiosity seemed genuine.

My reasons faded when exposed to logic. I had been producing the glass messengers for Gressa for the last half season. Why would this be different? Because then I thought I had control and now I wouldn’t? But I really wasn’t in charge. This whole mess with Ulrick and Gressa went deeper than I imagined. I had deluded myself into thinking I could beat them at their own game.

“How about a deal?” I asked.

He raised his eyebrows, inviting me to continue.

“I’ll make the messengers for you, if you don’t kill Tama, Faith or Janco.”

“Janco’s too dangerous to keep alive,” Ulrick said. “Unless…”

“I’ll bite. Unless what?” I braced for the ultimatum.

“We’ve reached a dead end with blood magic. Devlen claims he doesn’t know any more. We need guidance from one of the Warpers you imprisoned.”

I laughed. “Couldn’t you come up with something original? Devlen tried it before and it didn’t work. This greed for magical power will only get you killed. Look at Roze Featherstone. She was a Master Magician, the strongest of the strong. Even adding to her power, she still failed. There are too many others to stop you.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I’d made a gigantic mistake. Colossal. If I had felt guilty before, it was a mere scratch compared to what I had set into motion. At least when I screwed up, I triggered major disasters. No sense doing things halfway.

With numb horror, I watched as Ulrick’s expression went from concern to contemplative as he chased the logic.

“You’re right. The Master Magicians and Yelena would eventually get in our way.” Ulrick smiled. “Unless…”

I kept quiet. No sense helping him.

“Unless, we neutralize them. Which would be impossible if we didn’t have you.”

A POWER-HUNGRY SMILE SPREAD ON ULRICK’S FACE. “YOU CAN—”

“No. No way,” I said.

“If you don’t, we’ll kill Faith, Tama and Janco.”

“Still no.”

“Heartless,” Ulrick said. “I guess we’d have to find someone you really care for. That Stormdancer, perhaps?”

As much as I desired to agree in order to spare Kade, I couldn’t. “Not even him.”

“You’re serious. Wow.” He studied my face. “But they won’t be harmed—not physically anyway.”

“Doesn’t matter. The answer is no.”

“I know I can’t force you to use magic with my magic. That trick only works for the Soulfinder.” He clapped his hands together as if making a decision. “Devlen’s been the most effective so far. After all, his methods convinced you to prick Yelena with Curare. You had to know Alea planned to kill her. This time, no one’s life is at stake.”

Still didn’t matter. The new Opal wouldn’t cave in. This time all of Sitia and Ixia were in danger.

“I’ll message Fulgor right away. But first…” He stood and gestured for me to precede him to the door.

Ulrick guided me to my room in the basement. But this time he cuffed me in the chains hanging on the back wall. He locked my arms above my head, but at least I could stand, taking my weight off my wrists. He left, sealing me in darkness.

Alone with my thoughts wasn’t fun. Not at all. The list of stupid things I had done circled through my mind. Janco. Delivered myself into Akako’s group’s hands and failed to have a backup plan. Kade’s advice to always think the best replayed. I should have waited and listened to Yelena’s advice. Then again…she should have trusted me and let me know what was going on. Unless she didn’t know. And what about Zitora? Did she really believe Akako’s story about Ulrick’s undercover mission?

I leaned against the wall. Considering how much of the last year I had spent in the dark, I should be comfortable. Perhaps Yelena never trusted me. Probably not since the day I had pricked her with Curare. I’d been naive to believe she forgave me for deceiving her. And my tendency to give in to Devlen’s pressure torture increased my untrustworthiness. I led him to the northern ice sheet to find his mentor. Yelena had to know Valek hid one of my glass prisons in a snow cat’s lair. If my escape plan hadn’t worked, I would have taken Devlen to the prison. I was weak—even I wouldn’t trust myself.

Perhaps I should just join the team. Help Ulrick and save myself days of pain. No. Ulrick was right. I cared.

My abilities and knowledge were dangerous to Sitia. Looking back, I was surprised the Council hadn’t locked me up when I wasn’t crafting the messengers. This exact situation could have been avoided.

I needed to take myself out of the equation. When Devlen arrived, I would endure as long as possible, and give in. The first opportunity I had, I would find a piece of glass and slit my throat.

My despondency lifted. It was the answer to everyone’s problem. A lump formed in my throat when I thought of Kade; being with him was the only reason to live. But it was a selfish reason. Very selfish.