Ginn Hale - Lord of the White Hell Book One

Javier gave him a sympathetic smile. "It was a little much all at once, wasn't it?"

"I don't really want to talk about it," Kiram replied. "I just want to go to bed."

"Why don't you come to my room?"

"Because I'd rather sleep here," Kiram snapped and he knew too much anger carried in his tone.

"Look, you've got nothing to be ashamed of." Javier stepped a little closer. Kiram could smell the white ruin wafting off his clothes and body. He offered Kiram a pointlessly reassuring smile.

"The first time Elezar went to the Goldenrod he was so nervous he threw up. There's no shame in running away. No one noticed but me-"

"I'm not embarrassed, I'm disgusted. And I'm angry at you." Kiram cut himself off short. His feelings were still too raw and too tangled with memories of Musni. He wasn't ready for this argument.

"What did I do?" Javier demanded with an arched brow.

"Nothing. Never mind. I'm just really tired," Kiram finished lamely.

Javier gave him a hard look and Kiram knew he wasn't going to let the subject drop.

"If you're just tired then come to my bed." Javier gripped his arm and pulled him closer. Kiram resisted him, but Javier was strong and insistent. "What the hell is wrong with you? A few hours ago you couldn't wait to be with me."

"Well, a few hours ago I hadn't watched some drunk whore suck your cock."

Javier suddenly released his grip, and an expression like pain flickered across Javier's face. Then it was gone. "She was nothing. What she did was nothing."

"It wasn't nothing," Kiram replied. "It was exactly what you and I did. More. You probably had sex with her."

"Of course I did. What else was I supposed to do?" Javier asked. "Decline on the grounds that I'd prefer to bend you? That would have gone over well with the rest of the Hellions and let me assure you Master Ignacio would have been delighted to hear of it as well."

Kiram said nothing, because he knew there was nothing to say. Nothing could have been different. Javier had done exactly what he should have. His position in Cadeleonian society, his very freedom depended on it. This was exactly what Rafie had warned him about and what Kiram had cursed and sworn against on his long walk. It was exactly what he didn't want to think about because he knew where it led.

Some woman-a whore, a mistress, eventually a wife- would always be there between them. She would have to be there to shield them from prosecution. It wasn't Javier's fault but it wasn't something Kiram wanted to accept either.

"Well, tell me," Javier demanded. "Tell me what I should have done differently."

"You should have left me out of it." Kiram had no anger left, only a terrible defeat. Even this argument seemed futile now.

"I tried to send you home." Javier's tone softened a little. "But Atreau and Morisio made that impossible. So you came along and saw what goes on. I'm sorry, but that's the way things are, Kiram. Duke or not, I wouldn't survive if anyone thought I was-" Javier couldn't seem to find the words to define himself and instead pressed on, "And where would that leave you? Your safety at the Sagrada Academy is dependant upon me. If anyone knew what was between us, you know what they'd do to you."

"Yfes, I know. This is how things have to be." Kiram couldn't bring himself to look at Javier. "It's the way things will always be, because you're a Cadeleonian and a nobleman. You'll never be able to dance with me or share a house with me or call me your lover."

At first, Javier didn't seem to know how to respond to Kiram's acknowledgement, then confidence flickered over his features and Kiram guessed that he was hoping that he'd made his point and won. Kiram supposed that if he, too, had been a Cadeleonian and had known of no other way for two men to be together he might have accepted the situation. Perhaps he could have been satisfied with what little he could get.

All at once, Kiram understood the longing in Elezar's expression when he had gazed up at Javier. For a Cadeleonian a few stolen hours together would be enough.

But he wasn't Cadeleonian. He'd seen his uncle and Alizadeh dancing in each other's arms. He'd flirted openly and had been courted by charming men who offered their whole lives to him. He could have so much more than the pittance Javier offered him.

"I don't know…" Kiram's heart ached but he went on. "I don't know if this can work between us."

A bewilderment came over Javier. "What? Why? Because of one whore at the Goldenrod?"

"No, it's because it can't just be one. There will be others."

"But you've known about the Goldenrod since early summer," Javier objected.

"I knew," Kiram admitted, but that was so different from being there and realizing that this could be the rest of his life. "But being there tonight made it different. Before it was just some kind of vague joke but now…it's not funny. It's sickening." He could vividly picture the whore's mouth sliding over Javier's erection, her hands clutching his hips. All the while Javier's friends and peers reveled in the same debauchery with unbridled enthusiasm.

Alienation, as much as jealousy, swept through him. He turned from Javier and stared at the embers of the fire. They looked as if they were dying before his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just can't."

"No!" Javier spun him back around. "You will not just turn your back on me! I'm not some mechanism that you can toy with at your leisure. First you tell me that you find me attractive but you won't let me touch you. Then you give me one night and you say you want to stay with me and now you change your mind again? No! I do not accept it. I know you want me. You fought to stay with me." His hands dug into Kiram's arms.

"I fought to stay in the Sagrada Academy."

"You could give a shit about the academy." Javier pulled Kiram closer to him, his expression both angry and strained. "You wanted to be with me. Admit it!"

"I don't want to be with you now!" Kiram tried to jerk free but Javier wouldn't let him go.

"Yfes, you do." Javier leaned so close that Kiram could almost taste the white ruin on his lips. The thick perfumes of the Goldenrod still clung to his skin.

"Release me," Kiram ordered.

Javier's grip tightened, turning painful, and then he shoved Kiram away. Kiram stumbled back.

"Fine," Javier ground the word out. "You want to sleep alone? Then sleep alone. But when you change your mind again you're going to have to get down on your knees and beg to come to my bed."

Javier strode out of the room, slamming the door closed behind him. Kiram dropped limply to the floor. He sat there for a long while, watching the last embers of the fire dim to darkness. End of Part One List of Characters Alizadeh Lif-Moussu: Bahiim holy man, husband of Kiram's uncle Rafie. Atreau Vediya: Third-year student, Hellion, Nestor's upperclassman. Blasio Urracon: Scholar of mathematics. Calixto Tornesal: Tornesal ancestor who opened the white hell. Chebli: Dauhd's friend and member of Haldiim Civil Guard. Chilla Urvano: Second-year Sagrada student. Cocuyo Helio: Fourth-year Sagrada student. Dauhd Kir-Zaki: Kiram's sister, second daughter of Mother Kir- Zaki. Donamillo Urracon: Scholar of natural law. Elezar Grunito: Third-year student and Hellion. Enevir Helio: Fourth-year student Fedeles Quemanor: Javier's cousin, heir to the dukedom. Fiez Lif-Worijd: Kiram's mother's secretary. Genimo Plunado: Future Count of Verida and third-year student. Hashiem Kir-Naham: Haldiim son of a respected pharmacist. Hierro Fueres: Fourth-year Yillar student, future Duke of Gavado. Hikmat Kir-Zaki: Kiram's mother, a wealthy Haldiim business woman. Holy Father Habalan: Sagrada clergy and history teacher. Ignacio Nubaran: Sagrada master of war arts. Javier Tornesal: Third-year student, Duke of Rauma. Kiram Kir-Zaki: First full-blooded Haldiim admitted to the Sagrada Academy. Ladislo Bayezar: Second-year student. Majdi Kir-Zaki: Kiram's brother, Captain of the Red Witch. Morisio Cavada: Third-year student from a scholarly family, Hellion. Musni Rid-Asira: Haldiim friend of Kiram Kir-Zaki's. Nakiesh: Irabiim Bahiim. Liahn: Irabiim Bahiim. Nazario Sagrada: Historic king, committed atrocities against the Haldiim. Nestor Grunito: Second-year student, Kiram's friend, Elezar's brother. Nugalo Sagrada: Royal bishop and second son of the king. Ollivar Falario: Second-year student, Elezar's underclassman. Rafie Kir-Zaki: Kiram's uncle on his mother's side. Riossa Arevillo: Common Cadeleonian girl, daughter of a judge. Sevanyo Sagrada: Heir to the Cadeleonian throne. Shukri Kir-Zaki: Kiram's inventor father Siamak Kir-Zaki: Kiram's eldest sister Timoteo Grunito: Eldest of the Grunito sons, recently taken clergy vows. Vashir: Haldiim Bahiim, distant cousin of Alizadeh Yassin Lif-Harun: Historic half-Haldiim scholar. Places and Peoples Anacleto: Costal trade city, home to the oldest and largest Haldiim district of Cadeleon. Bahiim: Ancient Haldiim holy order that traces its history back to the original Jhahiim. Cieloalta: Cadelonian capitol. Circle of Red Oaks: Holy Grove in Haldiim district of Anacleto. Circle of the Crooked Pines: Irabiim Holy Grove. Haldiim: Naturalized minority descended from Jhahiim. Irabiim: Nomadic tribe descended from Jhahiim. Jhahiim: Tribe from which both Haldiim and Irabiin descend. Mirogoths: Cadeleonian name for a vast number of northern tribes, the majority of whom are led by witches and shapeshifters. White Tree of the Red Oaks: The center of the Red Oaks Holy Grove and a symbol of the Bahiim power; oaths and spells are bound by its light. Yuan: An exotic kingdom far across the South Sea. Days amp; Hours Primiday: First day of the week. Dosiday: Second day of the week. Mediday: Third day of the week. Levaniday: Fourth day of the week. Traviday: Fifth day of the week. Auguiday: Sixth day of the week. Sacreday: Seventh day of the week. Bells: A system of time keeping by sounding off loud or softer bells, which divide summer days into fourteen brassy day bells and ten wooden night bells. Winter days consist of only ten day bells and fourteen night bells. Brief Cadeleonian History 1000: The Sagrada fortress is built to stand against the first waves of Mirogoths. 1090-1105: King Nazario purges Haldiim from all of northern Cadeleon but dies before his forces can break the defenses of Anecleto and other southern cities. 1150: Civil war sends the Sagrada King into hiding in Rauma. 1190: The Restoration of the Sagrada rulership. 1200: Sagrada Academy is founded on the grounds of the old fortress. The school is dedicated to training the brightest nobles. Thirty years later the sons of merchants and scholars are granted admittance. 1226: The Yillar Academy is founded. Admittance is limited to Cadeleonian nobles and members of the high clergy. 1242: Second Mirogoth invasion begins in north. 1250: Calixto Tornesal opens the white hell and defeats the invading Mirogoth forces at the Sagrada Academy. 1253: Bishop Seferino pens his legal rulings on ethics, conduct and conversion. 1350: Kiram Kir-Zaki is the first full-blooded Haldiim to attend the Sagrada Academy. Acknowledgements First and foremost, huge thanks to Nicole Kimberling and Melissa Miller. I could not have written these books-or any books, honestly-without you.