Alex Lee Martinez - Gil's All Fright Diner

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Welcome to Gil's All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer….
Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley. But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg.
Seems someone's out to drive Loretta from the Diner, and more than willing to raise a little Hell on Earth if that's what it takes. Before Duke and Earl get to the bottom of the Diner's troubles, they'll run into such otherworldly complications as undead cattle, an amorous ghost, a jailbait sorceress, and the terrifying occult power of pig-latin. And maybe-just maybe-the End of the World, too.
Gory, sexy, and flat-out hilarious, Gil's All Fright Diner will tickle your funnybone — before ripping it out of its socket!

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He held out his hand.

Carefully, almost reverently, she put her hand in his and squeezed softly. Her ectoplasmic flesh felt cool to the touch. Earl didn't find it as repulsive as he normally did. He allowed the contact to linger for a few moments longer than he would have liked before finally slipping free.

"You know, it's been so long since I've done that, I'd forgotten what it felt like."

"Well, like I said, I got stuff to do."

"Will I see you again?"

"Yeah. How 'bout tomorrow night?" His reply surprised him.

Eyes wide, she beamed. "Really?"

He grinned back. "Yeah. Sure."

"That's great!" She leapt on him, wrapping her arms tightly around him.

Earl didn't push her away. Nor did the urge even strike him.

She let go. Her cheeks paled in a ghostly blush. "So I'll see you tomorrow then."

He couldn't look her in the eye. He glanced at his shuffling feet instead.

"Yeah. Tomorrow."

Earl didn't know why he'd made the promise. Even more unexplainable, he didn't know why he planned on keeping it.

The horn blared Grabbing her backpack Tammy jumped off the couch and headed - фото 8

The horn blared.

Grabbing her backpack, Tammy jumped off the couch and headed toward the door. "That's my ride."

"Just a moment there, young lady," her father croaked. "It's eight o'clock. Just where do you think you're going at this hour?"

"Chad and I are going to study together."

Her mother spoke without looking up from her knitting. "Have fun, dear."

"Now hold on a minute. Why can't you study here? Is there something wrong with this house? Are you ashamed of your parents?"

"No, Dad."

"Mind your tone, girl."

"Sorry, Dad."

A fumble momentarily distracted him. He shouted at the television.

"Oh, Sam, let the girl go."

He leaned back in his worn, creaky recliner. "Have you got your math book?"

"Yes," Tammy sighed.

He snorted.

She pulled the book from the backpack for him to see.

The horn honked again.

"Be back by eleven-thirty."

"Yes, Dad."

"Tammy, I mean it."

An icy chill crept into her voice. "Yes, sir."

"Have fun, dear," her mother said between the incessant clicking of needles.

On her way out, Tammy made sure to slam the door because she knew how much it irritated her father. She didn't care for Sam much. He wasn't that big of a jerk. Better than a lot of her friends' dads. But she was Mistress Lilith, Queen of Night, and it was hard enough to resurrect the old gods without having to deal with curfews, groundings, and math homework. She didn't know what the big deal was. A C-plus was passing. Maybe she wasn't "living up to her potential," as he so often put it, in geometry, but in the new age geometry would mean little. Denise Calhoun had a straight-A average. It wouldn't save her from the special hell Tammy had in store for pig-faced sluts who thought they were so smart just because they knew all about planes and points and parallel lines and other completely stupid stuff that nobody ever used in real life.

Tammy stopped at the curb and scowled at the yellow Gremlin waiting to whisk her away. She threw open the door.

"Goddamn it, you stupid son of a bitch."

Chad smiled stupidly. "What's wrong, babe?"

"I thought you were going to borrow your parents' truck?"

"Oh, well, I couldn't swing that. But I gave my brother ten bucks, and he let me borrow his car." His smile widened, transforming from stupid to downright idiotic. He revved the engine. It banged and popped and belched a large cloud that smelled of burning oil. "It's a hatchback."

She flopped into the passenger seat and slammed the door. Chad struggled with the gearshift for a while, eventually grinding his way to first.

Tammy slouched in her seat, propped her feet on the dashboard, and pulled out her geometry book and penlight. She studied on the way. There was much to do tonight and getting it all done before eleven-thirty was going to be difficult.

Chad put his hand on her knee. "So what's the plan tonight, baby?"

She smacked his fingers with her penlight. "Quit it. I'm trying to study here."

"Damn it. I was just asking."

"Just drive."

He grumbled under his breath. "You can be such a bitch, sometimes."

"What?"

"Nuthin'," he quietly replied, sucking his stinging knuckles. "Nuthin', Mistress Lilith."

Tammy said nothing, but Chad wouldn't be scoring tonight. She knew it. He knew it.

He switched on the radio. "Oh, hell."

Forty-five minutes later, the Gremlin pulled up to the gates of McAllister Fields, the largest defunct cemetery in the county. Chad killed the engine but left on the headlights. He and Tammy went to the gates, locked by a heavy padlock and a thick chain.

"Did you bring the bolt cutters like I told you?" she asked.

"Uh. . no, but I've got this." He held up a crowbar.

"Jesus, you can be such a dumbass."

"No. It'll work. Look." He adopted a batting stance. "You better stand back, babe."

He struck a powerful smack against the lock. Metal clanged against metal. The padlock swayed on its chain with only a tiny scratch to mark the assault.

Tammy pulled her abridged Necronomicon from her backpack and, with great irritation, flipped through the pages.

Chad unleashed a relentless barrage on the stubborn padlock. Blow after blow rained, but, dented and scraped, the lock held. He wheezed, wiping the sweat away from his face.

"I think. . I almost. . it's ready to. . any second now. . babe."

She pushed him aside. Arms outstretched toward the gate, she chanted the Invocation of the Opened Way . It took five minutes to complete. On the utterance of the last syllable, the lock clicked open.

"I must've loosened it. So what are we here for, babe?"

"Bodies."

He paled. "But. . but. . I didn't think we needed bodies to make zombies."

"We don't. We're not making zombies anymore. We only need a couple," she reassured. "Four or five."

Chad froze. His upper lip twitched.

"C'mon, dumbass. We don't got all night."

He shook his head very slowly. "No way. No way. I'm not touching any dead guys."

"Yes, you are." She put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot impatiently.

"No, I'm not, and you can't make me."

"Don't be such a wuss."

"No way."

Tammy was prepared for such a reaction. He'd nearly wet his pants the time they'd had to collect the finger bones of a hanged man. His adolescent fear of the dead was yet another obstacle between her and destiny.

"Fine."

She set down her backpack and removed a Coke bottle. She twisted off the cap and ran her fingers up and down the length of the neck.

"If you don't want to, you don't have to."

She brought the bottle almost to her mouth and moistened her lips with her tongue.

Chad's horny teenage knees wobbled.

Tammy wrapped her lips around the bottle and took a long, long drink. A drop dribbled down her chin. She pulled away the bottle slowly and wiped away the drop with a deeply satisfied smile.

"Okay. Four dead guys, but I'm not touching any more."

She moistened her fingertip with the droplets on the bottle's rim and sucked it dry. "Five."

"Okay, but only five."

Tammy smiled. Boys were so easy.

She'd picked McAllister Fields for a very simple reason. It was the closest cemetery that had aboveground crypts. It was so much easier to collect bodies when you didn't have to dig them up. She lucked out even more as the first crypt wasn't even locked. Chad used his crowbar to pry open the coffin inside. He recoiled from the stench of fetid flesh and retreated to a corner to vomit.

Tammy glanced over the corpse. "She'll do."

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