Daniel Abraham - Autumn War

"He enjoys a duty that was designed, from what you told me, to he enjoyable for him. To give him the sense of redeeming himself. He's made friends with Otah's children-"

"His other children," Liat said, but Nlaati had known her too long and too well to let the barb turn him aside.

"And they're very easy to make friends with. Danat and Eiah are charming in their ways. And Nayiit doesn't want to talk about plans he can't really make. About his own child who might already he dead. About a wife he doesn't love and a city that's fallen to the Galts. Why would he want to talk about that? What is there in any of that to cause him anything but pain?"

You think I'm an idiot," Hat said.

"I think he hasn't told you that he's staying. That's something you've decided, and you don't reach conclusions that wild unless there's something more going on," he said. "What it is, sweet?"

Hat's face squeezed tight, her brows and mouth and eyes seeming to hull in together like those of a fighter bracing to take a blow.

"I'm frightened. Is that what you want to hear? All right, then. I'm frightened."

"For him."

"For all of us!" I fiat stood and began to pace. "For the people I knew in Saraykeht. For the people I've met here. And the ones I haven't met. Do you know how many people the Galts have killed?"

"No, love."

"No one does. No one knows how bloody this has been. No one knows how much more they'll want before it's over. I knew what the world was when I came here."

"Thu came here to change the world by slaughtering all of Galt," \laati said.

" 1'es, Nlaati. Yes, so that this wouldn't happen. So that u'e wouldn't change!" She was weeping now, though he couldn't hear it in her voice. The tears only ran unnoticed down her cheeks as she moved, restless as a trapped bird. "I don't know the Galts. I don't love them. I don't care if they all die. What's going to happen to us? What's going to happen to him? What's already happened?"

"It hard, isn't it' When there's nothing to distract you from it," NIaati said. "I larder, I mean. It's not ever easy. You had the organization of the city to keep your mind busy, but that's done, and now there's nothing but the waiting. I've felt it too. If I didn't have the binding to work on, I'd have sunk into it."

Liat stopped. 11cr hands worried at each other.

"I can't stop thinking about it," she said. "I keep half-expecting that it will all go hack to what it was. That we'll go back to Saraykeht and carry on with the business and talk about that terrible year when the Galts came the way we talk about a bad cotton crop."

"It won't, though."

"Then what's going to happen to him?"

"Him? Just Nayiit? He's the only one you wonder that of?"

The tears didn't stop, but a smile as much sorrow as otherwise touched her.

"He's my son. Who else matters?"

"He's going to be fine," Maati said, and even he heard the conviction in his voice. "'l'he Galts will be turned hack, because I will turn them back. Our children won't die. Theirs will. We won't go hungry. They will. Nayiit won't be harmed, and when this is all finished with, he won't stay here with Otah-kvo. He'll go, because he has a child of his own in Saraykeht, and he isn't the kind of man who can walk away from that."

"Isn't he?" Hat asked. Her tone was a plea.

"Either he's Otah's son, and Otah sacrificed his freedom and his dignity to keep I)anat and Eiah safe. Or he's mine, and you had to force me away.

"Or he's mine," Liat said. "Then what becomes of him?"

"Then he'll be beautiful and lovely beyond all mortals, and age gracefully into wisdom. And he'll love his child the way you love him," Maati said. "Silly question."

Liat couldn't help but laugh. Maati rose and took her in his arms. She smelled of tears-wet and salt and flesh. Like blood without the iron. He kissed the crown of her bowed head.

"We'll he fine," he said. "I know what to do. Cehmai's here to help me, and Otah's bought us the time we need. Nothing bad will happen."

"It will," Liat said into his shoulder, and then with something that sounded like hope and surrender, "Only make it happen to someone else."

"They stood in silence for a while. Maati felt the warmth of Liat's body against him. They had held each other so many times over the years. In lust and shame, in love and pleasure. In sorrow. Even in anger. He knew the feel of her, the sound of her breath, the way her hand curled round his shoulder. "There was no one in the world who he would ever be able to speak with the way he spoke to her. They knew things between them that even Otah could never share-moments in Saraykeht, and after. It wasn't only the great moments-the birth of Nayiit, the death of Heshai, their own last parting; there were also the small ones. The time she'd gotten ill on crab soup and he'd nursed her and cared for the still squalling Nayiit. The flute player with the dancing dog they'd given a length of silver at a firekeeper's kiln in Yalakeht. The way the autumn came to Saravkeht when they were still young.

When she left again, there would he no one to talk to about those things. When she went to the South again and he became the new I)aikvo, there would he no one to remind him of those moments. It made them more precious. It made her more precious.

"I'll protect you," he said. "Don't worry, love. I'll protect us all." lie heard approaching footsteps, and he could feel it in Liat's body when she did as well. She stepped hack, and he let her, but he kept hold of one hand. Even if only for a moment. An urgent knock came at the door, and Cehmai's voice.

"N1aati-kvo!"

"Come in. Come in. What's the matter?"

The poet's face was flushed, his eyes wide. It took a moment for him to catch his breath before he could speak.

"'I'he Khai says you should come. Now," Cehmai gasped. "Sinja's back."

When Sinja finished his report and was silent, Otah forced his breath to be deep and regular, waiting until he could speak. His voice was tight and controlled.

"You have spent the season fighting beside the Galts?"

"'T'hey were winning."

"Is that supposed to be funny?"

Ile was thinner than Otah remembered him. The months on the road had left Sinja's face drawn, his cheekbones sharp. Ills skin was leathery from the sun and wind. He hadn't changed his robes, and he smelled of horses. Ills casual air seemed false, a parody of the certain, amused, detached man whom Otah had sent away, and Otah couldn't say if it was the captain who'd changed more or himself.

Kivan, the only other person in the chamber, sat apart from the pair of them, at the couch nearest the fire. Her hands were fists in her lap, her spine straight and still as a tree. Her face was expressionless. Sinja's gaze flickered toward her, and then came back to Otah. The captain took a pose that apologized.

"I'm not trying to he light about this, Most I ligh," Sinja said. "But it's truth. By the time I knew they weren't attacking the \Vestlands, I could no more have excused myself and ridden on than flapped my arms and flown. I did what I could to slow them, but yes, when they called on us, we fought beside them. When they needed interpreters, we spoke for them. I suppose we could have thrown ourselves on their spears and died nobly, but then I wouldn't he here to warn you now."

"You betrayed the Khaiem," Otah said.

"And I'm betraying the Galts now," Sinja replied, his voice calm. "If you can judge the balance on that, you're smarter than I am. I've done what I've done,: Most Iligh. If I chose wrong, I'll apologize, except I don't think I have."

"Let it go," Utah said. "W'e'll deal with it later."

"I'd rather do it now," Sinja said, shifting his weight. "If I'm going to be drowned as a traitor, I'd like to know it."