Eoin Colfer - Artemis Fowl - the time paradox

There were further horrors in the room, all labelled for educational purposes. The sofa was upholstered with the pelts of Falkland Island wolves. The base of a standing lamp was fashioned from the skull of a western black rhinoceros.

Artemis struggled to maintain his composure.

I need to get out of here as quickly as possible.

But the faint voice of his conscience reminded him that leaving would not mean that this place no longer existed, and selling the strange creature to Kronski would only draw more people to it.

Artemis conjured a picture of his father in his mind.

Whatever it takes. Whatever I have to do.

Kronski entered the room showered and wearing a flowing kaftan. His eyes were red-rimmed, as though he’d been crying.

‘Sit down, Ah-temis,’ he said, gesturing towards the sofa with a hidebound fly swatter.

Artemis eyed the seat. ‘No. I think I’ll stand.’

Kronski sank into an office chair. ‘Oh, I get it. Grownup sofa. It’s difficult to be taken seriously when your feet don’t touch the ground.’

The doctor rubbed his eyes with stubby thumbs, then donned his trademark glasses.

‘You have no idea what it’s been like for me, Ah-temis. Hounded from country to country because of my beliefs, like some common criminal. And now that I have finally found somewhere to call home, now that I have persuaded the committee to meet here, I lose my trial animal. That lemur was the centrepiece of the entire conference.’

Kronski’s voice was steady and he seemed to have recovered himself since his breakdown at the leather souq.

‘The Extinctionists’ committee members are very powerful men, Ah-temis. They are accustomed to comfort and convenience. Morocco is hardly convenient. I had to build this compound to entice them down here, and promise a big opening to the conference. And now all I have to show is a shining hand.’

Kronski brandished his hand, which was largely slime free, but did seem to glow faintly.

‘All is not lost, Doctor,’ said Artemis soothingly. ‘I can provide you with something that will rejuvenate your society and make it globally relevant.’

Kronski’s frown was sceptical, but he leaned forward, arms slightly outstretched.

His face says no, thought Artemis. But his body language says yes.

‘What are you selling, Ah-temis?’

Artemis opened the gallery on his phone, selecting a photograph.

‘This,’ he said, passing the phone to Kronski.

The doctor studied the photograph and the scepticism in his eyes grew more pronounced.

‘What is this? Photo manipulation?’

‘No. Genuine. This creature is real.’

‘Come on, Ah-temis. What we’ve got here are latex and bone implants. Nothing more.’

Artemis nodded. ‘That’s a fair reaction. So you don’t pay until you’re satisfied.’

‘I already paid.’

‘You paid for a lemur,’ Artemis countered. ‘This is an undiscovered species. Possibly a threat to mankind. This is what the Extinctionists are all about. Imagine how many members will clamour to donate to your church when you uncover this threat.’

Kronski nodded. ‘You put together a good argument for a ten-year-old. How much do I pay?’

‘You pay five million euro. Non-negotiable.’

‘Cash?’

‘Diamonds.’

Kronski pouted. ‘I won’t pay a single stone until I verify the authenticity of your product.’

‘That’s fair.’

‘That’s mighty accommodating of you, Fowl. How do you know I won’t double-cross you? After all, I’m pretty sure that you had a hand in whatever happened back at the souq. Payback is fair play where I come from.’

‘You might double-cross me, Damon. But you won’t double-cross Butler. You are not a stupid man.’

Kronski grunted, impressed. ‘I got to hand it to you, boy. You have all the angles figured. You present ’em well too.’ He stared absently at his glowing hand. ‘You ever think it strange, Ah-temis, how a kid like you winds up going eyeball to eyeball with an old crook like me?’

‘I don’t understand the question,’ said Artemis truthfully.

Kronski clapped his hands and laughed. ‘It delights me, Ah-temis,’ he said, ‘that a boy such as you exists. It makes my day.’ The laughter stopped suddenly, as though cut off by a guillotine. ‘Now, how soon can I inspect the creature?’

‘Immediately,’ replied Artemis.’

‘Good. Well, text your man to come hither. Let’s say it takes him thirty minutes to get here, another ten to clear security. We can meet him in the grand lodge in one hour.’

‘I said immediately,’ said Artemis, clicking his fingers. Butler stepped out from behind a curtain, a Kevlar duffel bag under one arm.

Kronski squealed briefly, then rolled his eyes in frustration.

‘I can’t control that… Ever since the koala in Cleveland. It’s so embarassing …’

File and save, thought Artemis. Koala in Cleveland.

‘Anyway,’ continued the doctor, ‘how did he get in here?’

Butler shrugged. ‘I came in the same way you did, Doctor.’

‘You were in the Land Rover,’ breathed Kronski. ‘Very clever.’

‘Not really. More lax on your part than clever on ours.’

‘I will remember that. Do you have the merchandise with you?’

Butler’s mouth tightened and Artemis knew that he was pushed to the limits of his loyalty by this transaction. The lemur had been bad enough, but this female in the bag was some kind of person.

Wordlessly, the bodyguard placed the duffel on the desk. Artemis tugged on the zipper, but Butler stopped him.

‘She has some kind of hypnotizing skills. I once met a guy in Laos who could put the whammy on you, but nothing like this. She tried it on outside the souq and I nearly ran into a camel, so I taped her mouth. Also, as we know, she can turn invisible. When I opened the bag first, she wasn’t there. I think her juice is running out, though. There could be more stunts — who knows what tricks she has hidden in those pointed ears? Are you prepared to take that risk?’

‘Yes,’ said Kronski, almost foaming at the mouth. ‘Absolutely, yes. Open the bag.’

Butler removed his hand and Artemis unzipped the duffel, exposing the figure inside.

Kronski stared into the mismatched eyes. Ran a hand across the inhumanly wide brow, tugged one of the ears, then staggered to the office bar, pouring himself a glass of water with shaky hands.

‘Five million at today’s market price,’ he said. ‘You said five and we agreed. No upping the price now.’

Artemis smiled. The doctor was hooked.

‘Five million,’ he said. ‘Plus expenses.’

Artemis the elder rode back to the landing site on a collapsible LEP scooter designed to resemble a 1950s human Lambretta. The resemblance was only bumper deep, as there were not many Lambrettas that came equipped with clean nuclear batteries, Gnommish satellite navigation and self-destruct buttons.

The Ifrane road outside the imperial city was part of the fertile Fez river basin and was lined with olive groves and golf courses.

Ancient and modern. Coexisting.

Overhead the stars seemed closer and fiercer than at home in Ireland, shining down like stadium lights, as though Africa were somehow closer to the rest of the universe.

I lost her. I lost Holly.

But he did have a plan. A half-decent plan. All it needed was a bit of fairy technology to open a few doors and then there was still a chance. Because, without Holly, all was lost. There would be no future for any of them.

It took almost an hour to find the particular golf course where Holly had parked the LEP shuttle. Not that there was much evidence of a craft on the spot besides a slightly flat plane of sand in the bunker. Holly had nosed the shuttle deep into the dry sand and left the shield powered on. Artemis only found it himself with the help of the bike’s navigation systems.