John Lenahan - Prince of Hazel and Oak

‘We are all Hawathiee: Faeries, Imps, Leprechauns, Fili, Elves, Brownies and Pooka. We are children of the trees. We do not kill each other.’

‘You know I’ve read some of your history,’ I said, ‘and that’s not exactly true.’

‘Well,’ Araf replied a bit sheepishly, ‘we are not supposed to kill each other.’

‘Notice he didn’t mention Banshees in his little list,’ Turlow said.

One of the wolves made a faint attack at Araf which it instantly abandoned. The rest of the pack quickly ran sideways and swopped positions.

‘I do not think that now is the time to debate that, Turlow,’ Araf said.

Turlow’s reply was almost too soft to hear. ‘That’s what they always say.’

I really didn’t like the look of the slobber that was drooling off the lips of one of the wolves in front of me. He had a look of desperation about him and his patience was growing thin.

‘How’s the tree pruning going back there, girls?’ I shouted without turning around.

‘The trees are alive but they will not speak to us,’ Nieve called back. ‘I do not wish to hurt them.’

‘Well, something or someone is going to get hurt real soon,’ Brendan said, ‘and I would prefer it not to be me.’

Turlow broke the calm. With a well and proper Banshee scream, he lashed out at the two beasts that were facing him. They initially stood the charge with bared fangs but as he grew closer and louder they scampered away like poodles being reprimanded by a maid with a broom.

When I looked back to the wolves that were dogging me, I was surprised to see that they had crept in to almost a lunge-length away. I swung the Lawnmower and let loose a scream that sounded weedy compared to Turlow’s. The wolves backed off and then, as one, they all turned and ran away.

I smiled at Araf. ‘Well, I guess I showed them who’s boss.’

Araf didn’t look at me. He seemed to look above me. ‘I can only guess at what boss means,’ he said, ‘but I am guessing that the boss is not you.’

I turned. That’s when I saw the bears.

There were two of them. Kodiak-looking fellows about twenty feet high – or so it seemed at the time. To call them bears would be doing them an injustice, like calling a couple of sabre-toothed tigers kitty-cats. They were actually hairy mountains with teeth and claws. They loped towards us on all fours but as soon as they made eye contact, they stopped and reared up on their hind legs. I mentioned before that the sight of wolves in the forest made my heart skip a beat – well, the sight of these guys at full height produced a code-red cardiac arrest.

They dropped back to all fours and slowly came towards us. They didn’t look menacing exactly – I think I could have coped with that – their expression was far more terrifying. They looked hungry.

I heard the creak of Brendan’s bow as he pulled his weapon back to full tension. ‘These guys I can shoot, right?’

‘NO,’ came a shout from Essa and Araf.

Brendan turned to Araf. ‘Why not?’

‘It will only make them mad,’ the Imp replied.

‘Girls,’ I shouted behind me, ‘you better hack through those trees.’

‘No, Conor,’ Essa hissed back.

‘You either hack the trees or I have to hack a super bear and I have a suspicion that the bear is going to hack back.’

‘We did not come here to kill trees and Pookas,’ Essa said.

‘Well, I didn’t come here to get a good look at my lower intestines either. Make a decision or these bears are going to make one for us.’

A screech tore my wide and terrified eyes away from the approaching colossi. I looked up and saw what at first looked like a falcon, but as I watched the feathers on his wings began to be absorbed into what began to look like arms. The sharp beak disappeared into his widening face; talons extended and became long lean legs. He was fully human when he hit the ground. I’d like to say it was a stunning and graceful manoeuvre but that would be a lie. What I saw was a bird that, in midair, turned into a very naked man that then awkwardly slammed face down into the earth. I’m pretty sure even the bears thought it looked painful.

As he lay there moaning, one of us really should have asked him if he was all right, but, like the bears, we were frozen in shock. By the time he got up, the bears had seen enough and were moving again. He stood and shouted, ‘BE GONE.’

Now, I don’t know about you but if a naked man fell from the sky and then, in all of his dingly-dangly naked glory, stood in front of me and shouted, ‘BE GONE,’ then I would probably go. But these Pookas/bears, like the wolves, were not in their right minds – they kept coming. I didn’t know what to do. Part of me wanted to step in front of this obviously deranged Pooka and save him from almost certain disembowelment. Of course the other part of me was delighted to have anything between me and the two mountains of slobber, fangs and claws that were heading my way.

‘Hey,’ I called to him. When he ignore. What I s tried again. ‘Excuse me, naked Pooka guy. Can we help in any way?’

He turned to look at me; one side of his face was covered with dirt and grass stains. ‘Stand back,’ he commanded. Then he reached his hand to his neck, dropped his head to his chest and went down onto one knee. It looked like he was praying and I hoped it was a short prayer because the bears were almost on him. I heard Brendan’s bow creak. I couldn’t stand to watch. Just as I was about to turn away, he stood up – then he kept standing up. His feet thinned at the bottom, then his backside grew a tail and widened to the size of a downtown bus. His head grew a rack of flat antlers that must have been as wide as the bears were tall. He grew dark brown short hair all over his body. When the transformation was done, we all stood open-mouthed. It was one of the most impressive things I had seen to date. Standing between us and certain death was what I now know was a prehistoric Celtic deer. Imagine a moose the size of a large elephant and you’ve got the idea. He dropped his antler-adorned head, scratched in the earth with his hind legs and charged.

The bears didn’t give it a second thought. They scrabbled out of there fast. Mr Moose gave a short chase then changed back into a naked man before collapsing onto the frozen earth.

Brendan and I ran up to him. ‘Are you all right?’ I asked.

He replied with moans that then became words. ‘Aahh… leave… this

… mountain.’

Araf ran up with a blanket and placed it over him. Without looking up he angrily pushed it off. ‘Leave this mountain.’

I placed the blanket back over him. ‘Really, you’re going to freeze out here. Can we-’

He scrambled to his feet with a speed that surprised me. Apart from a gold disc that hung on a wire around his neck, and the mud and dirt, he was still very naked. He spotted Essa and Nieve still working on the trees that blocked the gateway. ‘Get away from there!’ he tried to scream but his voice was tired and thin. They looked but continued. He threw his head back, almost falling over. ‘LEAVE THIS MOUNTAIN!’ he shouted. He staggered as he brought his head down, his eyes still closed. I took a step forward to catch him if he fell. He opened his eyes. I think he expected us to be gone, instead of standing around staring at him. A look of mad anger took over his face. He dropped to his knees and grabbed the medallion around his neck. Brendan, Turlow, Araf and I all took an involuntary step back.

Black fur sprouted from every pore, his nose blackened and broadened. The teeth changed just before the snout formed, giving us a good look at the fangs. We took another step back. As his height increased he tried to stand. That’s when the transformation stalled then stopped altogether. His eyes blinked rapidly and he shrank quickly into naked Pooka guy again as he fell face first unconscious into Araf’s waiting arms.