Hugh Cook - The Wicked and the Witless

'Meanwhile,' said Farfalla, 'Plovey and I will talk with this Drake Douay, and see if he confirms his comrades' tale.'

Thus the interrogation of Drake Douay resumed, and almost immediately proceeded to torture. Sarazin heard all about it from one source or another. He took the keenest possible interest in this interrogation, for he lusted to recover the enchanted objects which he knew Douay had stolen from him.

However, Sarazin was to be disappointed, for Douay did not confess his sins. Unlike Andranovory and Erhed, he lacked the sense to cooperate, and told nothing remotely resembling the truth.

The much-scarred Douay claimed, as if expecting to be believed, to have seen combat against so-called Guardian Machines of improbable construction, against heroes of Hexagon, the Ling of Ling (whatever that was), Collosnon warriors, lizard monsters, crocodiles, the dragon Zenphos and a legion of monsters of the Swarms.

Depending on what story he was telling, Douay claimed his birthplace variously as Estar, Stokos, the Greater Teeth and the Lesser. His very name was uncertain, since he admitted a string of aliases, such as Narda Narkin, Shen Shen Drax, Arabin lol Arabin and Demon-son Dreldragon.

It was almost impossible to get anything resembling the truth out of Douay. However, Sean Sarazin – commanding Farfalla's guards, some Regency guardsmen and some men of the Watch – eventually managed to catch another ten of the mutineers who had gone questing in the wilderness with the wizards and the Rovac.

When isolated from each other and interrogated sep- arately, these prisoners gave testimony proving that the broad outline of the tale told by Andranovory and Erhed was true. Khmar had been defeated by an alliance of wizards and Rovac; those wizards and Rovac had gone questing for a death-stone possessed by the evil wizard Heenmor; soldiers under their command had finally mutinied near the Araconch Waters.

At the time of the mutiny, the pursuers had been chasing Heenmor towards the north-east of Argan. If the wizards and the Rovac eventually defeated Heenmor and won command of the death-stone, then they would take it to the Confederation of Wizards.

'Probably,' said one quick-witted mutineer, 'their route would take them through Selzirk. So you could arrest them, seize their death-stone, and make yourselves lords of the universe.' Farfalla laughed when she heard this. 'Absurd,' she said.

Then thought some more, and went to see Plovey, and put a certain proposition to him. They came to an agree- ment, and started using their influence to get what they wanted.

They were successful.

And, shortly, Sean Sarazin was dismayed to find himself placed in permanent command of the gates of Selzirk. His mission: to wait until the wizards and the Rovac came through the gates. Then to arrest them, and take from them the death-stone.

Why are you doing this to me?' said Sean Sarazin, knowing this task to be both futile and absurd. 'Is this punishment? If so, then punishment for what?'

'Plovey and I have decided,' said his mother, 'that we must keep you out of mischief. We neither of us want civil war in the Harvest Plains.' 'Civil war?' said Sarazin. 'What are you talking about?'

'Civil war,' explained Farfalla, 'would be the inevitable result of your conspiracy.'

Sarazin knew by now that he had managed to keep virtually nothing secret from his mother. Nevertheless he said, as a matter of form:

'I don't know what you're talking about.' Then: 'Any- way, leaving aside this conspiracy nonsense – what about these things which were stolen from me?'

'None of our prisoners knows anything about that,' said Farfalla. 'The burglary must have been the work of Douay alone.'

'Then let me have Douay!' demanded Sarazin. 'I must have him! I must get the truth out of him! By torture to the point of death, if nothing else will avail.' 'Oh, that's been taken care of already,' said Farfalla. 'What do you mean?' said Sarazin.

'I mean that Douay has been tortured to death. He confessed himself to be a pirate, so, when we'd got all we could out of him, we turned him over to the law. The legal penalty for piracy is to be tortured to death – and his execution was yesterday.'

Sean Sarazin was desolate.

Douay was dead, and the secret of the whereabouts of the magical treasures had died with him. Sarazin's hopes of retrieving his ring of invisibility, dragon-bottle and enchanted candle were finished. Thus his hopes of ruling the Harvest Plains in his own right were shattered.

What's more, he could no longer hope to rule even with Lord Regan's help, for, since both Plovey and Farfalla were alert to his ambitions, conspiracy had become too dangerous.

The great game was over.

And Sean Sarazin was condemned to stand at the gates of Selzirk day in, day out, always with one mutineer or another at his side, waiting for the wizards and the Rovac to come past bearing the death-stone they had won from the wizard Heenmor. Life passed, slowly.

Then Sarazin's view of the world began to change.

First, he learnt that Drake Douay was still alive in one of Selzirk's dungeons. On cautious enquiry he found Plovey of the Regency had arranged for Douay to survive.

Why? Sarazin could not figure it out, so asked Jarl.

'Douay doubtless blames you for his torture,' said Jarl. If not you, then certainly me, for I helped teach him the meaning of pain. Plovey doubtless thinks to use him some day as an assassin.'

'Assassination,' said Sarazin, 'plays no part in the politics of Selzirk.'

'It is not traditional,' agreed Jarl, 'but things may change. Particularly if Plovey learns that our conspiracy has been renewed.' 'But it hasn't!' said Sarazin. Then: 'Has it?' Jarl laughed.

'This time,' said Jarl, 'we're going very, very carefully. The less you know, the better.'

So the conspiracy was still afoot. Douay still lived. The enchanted objects could still be retrieved. There was still hope!

But Sean Sarazin was still condemned to the never- ending monotony of gate-guard duty.

In spring, the absurdity of that duty became manifest when terrifying news came from the north. A new power had arisen in Argan. The Rovac warrior Elkor Alish had killed the evil wizard Heenmor, had seized control of the death-stone himself, and had used the power of that weapon to conquer the city of Runcorn.

Now Alish was demanding the surrender of the Harvest Plains. If such surrender was not forthcoming, then Alish would invade – and any army which stood against him would be turned to rock by the death-stone.

Refugees from Runcorn arrived in Selzirk – survivors of a battle which had been fought against Alish. Some had hands of stone, arms of stone, legs of stone. Some had faces partly transmuted to rock. Some died not long after reaching Selzirk. Dead or alive, they were proof of the disaster which threatened the Harvest Plains.

Panic gripped the capital. Many people fled Selzirk. Some committed suicide. There was a great conference attended by Farfalla, the Regency, the guilds and the army – and nobody could see how to stand against Alish.

The Regency now made its nature clear. There were brave men in its ranks – Plovey zar Plovey, for example, who feared little and confessed his fear of nothing. But most members of the Regency were cravens, and this majority passed an Emergency Executive Decree appointing the kingmaker Farfalla as Supreme Warlord for the duration of the war, this appointment to terminate ninety days after an Official Declaration of Peace.

The implications were clear. Since Farfalla now had total command of the Harvest Plains, the shame of surrender must fall upon her. Furthermore, if the invader Elkor Alish decided to execute Selzirk's ruler, then it was Farfalla's head which would roll. Farfalla acted quickly.