Hugh Cook - The Walrus and the Warwolf

Drake took his party to meet Jon Arabin, who looked older, and had taken to walking with a slight stoop.And an emotional meeting they had.

'Man,' said Drake, after a lot of talking, 'that's a beautiful ship you've got.'

'It's a sign of the sea's poverty,' said Jon Arabin. 'When the fish get fewer, the fisherman gets a better net. And she's not mine – I own but a quarter of her.'

'Man,' said Drake, 'she'd be sweet for the run to Ling. How long since you were down there last?'

'Not since we were there together,' said Jon Arabin. 'Aye, and I'm not likely to go again.'

'Man, why not?' said Drake. 'The Dragon, surely she'd near enough to fly. Aye, a hundred leagues a day, mayhap. We'd be clear down to Ling in eight or nine days.'Jon Arabin laughed.

'With the winds being what they are,' said he, T think even a ten-day voyage would be but a dream. But, in any case, none wants to risk the voyage. There's been toomany tales of what happened on our last.' 'This is serious,' said Drake. 'Why so?' asked Jon Arabin.

'There's two stories,' said Drake. 'One is for all to hear, the other for you alone. The public story is that we seek pearl-wealth to fund an army to throw Morgan Hearst out of Estar, aye, and regain the place for Lord Miphon and Lord Blackwood. We promise power and plunder to tempt men to our enterprise. But there's a little more to it than that. Remember how those in Ling planted a snake in my body?'

'Aye,' said Arabin, 'I remember you babbling about such just after your hostage-time ended. But I thought it a story. I picked you as being good with stories.'

'This story has truth to it,' said Drake. 'There was indeed a snake.'

'Then what's so important about this snake?' said Jon Arabin.

'It saves life,' said Drake. 'It's magic of the ancients, which goes by the name of a paratopic. It kills off plagues, prevents poisoning, preserves the flesh against alcohol. Lord Miphon here, he's dying of a fearful pox. He got it from whoring at orgies in Estar.''Is this true?' said Jon Arabin to Miphon.

'It is true,' said Miphon calmly, 'that we must venture to Lingto save life.''And this venture,' saidDrake, 'is dear to my heart.'

'Thenl'dvoteforthejourney,'said JonArabin.'Not just for old times' sake, either. The wealth of pearls is as well worth having as ever. But there'd be three votes against.'

'But you could persuade friend Walrus to the enterprise, surely,' said Drake.

'Nay, for he's too sick to have appetite for cruising,' said JonArabin.'How sick?' said Drake.'Very,' said Arabin.

'Then,' said Drake, 'maybe one of these snakes might help save his life.'T hadn't thought of that,' said Jon Arabin. 'How many of these snake things do you think they've got at Ling?'

'There's only one way to find out,' said Drake. 'Come, let's go talk to the Walrus.'

They went, and found Slagger Mulps laid up in bed. Three days ago, a blood vessel in his lungs had burst, and he had spat out enough blood – according to his account of the disaster – to have drowned a ship rat. Miphon elicited a medical history, then pronounced on his condition:'This is consumption.'

'Aye, man,' said the Walrus, with very bad grace. 'I knew that myself. It didn't come on sudden like. I've had years to think about it. Aye, it's happened before, it'll happen again, and one day likely kill me.''You don't have to die,' said Drake. 'A cure is possible.'

'Yes,' said Mulps, 'to sleep with a virgin. That cures most things, every man knows that. But where am I to find a virgin in the Teeth?''Listen to me,' said Drake.

'Aagh,' said the Walrus, 'what good's listening? There's naught good you can do for me. Unless you care to make some of your special soup to finish me off.''Special soup?' said Drake, blankly.The Walrus laughed.

'Soup, or goulash, or whatever you want to call it,' he said. 'That stuff you cooked for us when we were running from the Lessers to D'Waith.''Oh, that!' said Drake, remembering.

'Yes,' said Mulps, 'that thick, gungy, horrible, lethal concoction. That's all I'd need today to see me free from this corpse of mine.'

'You dare insult my goulash?' said Drake. 'Man, that was great stuff! Aye, a right special brew, yes, with baby rabbits, aye, baby rabbits, and shrimps.'

'It was dirty filthy muck full of rats and cockroaches,' said Mulps. 'I know a rat from a rabbit even if the Warwolf doesn't!'

'If it had been so vile,' said Drake, with a glance at Jon Arabin's impassive face, 'you'd never have eaten it.'

'Oh, I ate it, all right,' said the Walrus. 'For friend Warwolf was eating alongside me. Aye, Jon – there you were, spooning it into your filthy maw as if it was nectar you were dining on. Man, it was hard to eat – but worth the effort, aye, for the pleasure of seeing our dear friend Arabin gorge on rats and on cockroach. The hardest part about eating was to keep from killing myself with laughter!'

And Mulps fell back against the gunny sacks which served him as pillows, laughing until he coughed up fresh frank blood.

'Man,' said Drake, 'now you've finished telling lies about my cookery, perhaps you'll listen to some sense.'

And Drake explained about the paratopic, and how it could save Mulps from dying of disease.

Up till then, Slagger Mulps had been fatalistic about his disease. He had consumption; there was no cure; he might live ten more years, or he might drop dead tomorrow. It had been a fact of life now for as long as he could remember.

But once he realized there was a cure, his attitude changed. He could live? Then he would live. He must live!

'But our other shareholders,' said Mulps. 'They won't risk ship for some cure for consumption.'

'But they will for profits,' said Jon Arabin. 'There'll be pearls in plenty in Ling. Why, with an owner's share, we could probably each retire to Chi'ash-Ian.'

Sure enough, Abousir Belench and Bluewater Draven allowed themselves to be persuaded to release the Dragon for the voyage south – even though they declined to come themselves. A crew was got together readily enough. For trade goods, they loaded the Dragon with things unobtainable in Ling – sealskins, walrus-hide ropes, walrus ivory, things of iron and bronze and steel.

'We'll call in at Island Tor,' said Jon Arabin. 'Aye, and cut bamboo and good timber. That'll complete the cargo.'

Meanwhile, Drake talked privately with Miphon, Blackwood and their soldiers. Drake swore solemnly that, at journey's end, he would see them returned to Estar.They did not protest too much.They had very little choice in the matter.

Drake was content. Soon – maybe in ten days, but surely in no more than twenty – they would be in Ling. Then he would get a magic snake to cure Zanya's illness. Then it would be time to do something about these haughty lords from Estar, aye. Kill them, gut them, get the death-stone, get the red bottle, and get the ring which commanded the bottle.

Then he would do what Menator had once done: he would set himself up as Lord Emperor of the Greaters.And after that?

Why, he would conquer the Lessers, take over Estar and Trest, plunder the Ravlish Lands, subdue Tameran, bring Chi'ash-Ian under his heel – then turn his attention to Stokos.

'Lord Dreldragon,' said Drake to Drake. 'Ruler of the universe.'It had a nice ring to it.

On reflection, even with the death-stone he might lack the power to conquer the Ravlish Lands and Tameran entire. But one thing he was certain of:

'Before I'm dead, I'll rule on Stokos. Aye. And have Sully Yot's head as a table decoration when I hold a banquet to celebrate.'

But before Drake's adventures could be brought to such a satisfactory conclusion, the good ship Dragon had to be got to sea. And that was a nightmarish undertaking, seeing that the ship was so large and the way so narrow. In fact, it took a full two days of towing, warping, sweat, fatigue and obscenity.