Roger Zelazny - Prince of chaos

«I'll find a way,» I said.

«My eye…» she continued.

I hurried by.

From a rectangular mirror in a wooden frame carved at its base in the form of a phoenix, Luke regarded me. «Hey, old buddy,» he said, looking slightly forlorn,

«I'd sure like to have my dad's sword back. You haven't come across it again, have you?»

«'Fraid not,» I muttered.

«It's a shame to get to hold your present for such a short period of time. Watch for it, will you? I've a feeling it might come in handy.»

«I'll do that,» I said.

«After all, you're kind of responsible for what happened,» he continued.

«Right,» I agreed.

«…And I'd sure like to have it back.»

«Yeah,» I said, moving away.

A nasty chuckle emerged from a maroon-framed ellipse to my right. Turning, I beheld the face of Victor Melman, the shadow Earth sorcerer I had confronted back when my troubles were beginning.

«Son of perdition!» he hissed. «'Tis good to see you wander lost in Limbo. May my blood lie burning on your hands.»

«Your blood is on your own hands,» I said. «I count you as a suicide.»

«Not so!» he snapped back. «You slew me most unfairly.»

«Bullshit,» I answered. «I may be guilty of a lot of things, but your death is not one of them.»

I began to walk away, and his hand emerged from the mirror and clutched at my shoulder.

«Murderer!» he cried.

I brushed his hand away.

«Bugger off!» I said, and I kept going.

Then, from a wide, green-framed mirror with a greenish haze to the glass, Random hailed me from my left, shaking his head.

«Merlin! Merlin! What are you up to, anyway?» he asked. «I've known for some time that you haven't been keeping me abreast of everything that's afoot.»

«Well,» I replied, regarding him in an orange T-shirt and Levi's; «that's true, sir. Some things I just haven't had time to go into.»

«Things that involve the safety of the realm - and you haven't had time?»

«Well, I guess there's something of a judgmental factor involved.»

«If it involves our safety, I am the one to do the judging.»

«Yes, sir. I realize that-»

«We have to have a talk, Merlin. Is it that your personal life is mixed with this in some way?»

«I guess that's true-»

«It doesn't matter. The kingdom is more important. We must talk.»

«Yes, sir. We will as soon as-»

«`As soon as,' hell! Now! Stop screwing around at whatever you're up to and get your ass back here! We have to talk!»

«I will, as soon as-»

«Don't give me that! It verges on the traitorous if you're withholding important information! I need to see you now! Come home!»

«I will,» I said, and I hurried away, his voice joining a continuing chorus of the others, repeating their demands, their pleas, their accusations.

Out of the next one-circular, with a blue braided frame-Julia regarded me.

«And there you go,» she said, almost wistfully. «You knew I loved you.»

«I loved you, too,» I admitted. «It took me a long time to realize it. I guess I messed up, though.»

«You didn't love me enough,» she said. «Not enough to trust me. And so you lost my trust.»

I looked away.

«I'm sorry,» I said.

«Not good enough,» she responded. «Thus, we are become enemies.»

«It doesn't have to be that way.»

«Too late,» she said. «Too late.»

«I'm sorry,» I repeated, and I hurried away.

Thus, I came to Jasra, in a red, diamond frame. Her bright-nailed hand reached out and caressed my cheek. «Going somewhere, dear boy?» she asked.

«I hope so,» I said.

She smiled crookedly and pursed her lips.

«I've decided you were a bad influence on my son,» she said. «He lost his edge when he became friends with you.»

«Sorry about that,» I said.

«…Which may make him unfit to rule.»

«Unfit or unwilling?» I asked.

«Whichever, it will be your fault.»

«He's a big boy now, Jasra. He makes his own decisions.»

«I fear you've taught him to make the wrong ones.»

«He's his own man, lady. Don't blame me if he does things you don't like.»

«And if Kashfa crumbles because you've softened him?»

«I decline the nomination,» I said, taking a step forward. It was good that I was moving, for her hand shot out, nails raking at my face, barely missing. She threw expletives after me as I walked away. Fortunately, they were drowned amid the cries of the others.

«Merlin?»

Turning to my right again I beheld the face of Nayda within a silver mirror, its surface and curled frame of a single piece.

«Nayda! What are you down on me for?»

«Nothing,» the ty'iga lady replied. «I'm just passing through, and I need directions.»

«You don't hate me? How refreshing!»

«Hate you? Don't be silly. I could never do that.»

«Everyone else in this gallery seems irritated with me.

«It's only a dream, Merlin. You're real, I'm real, and I don't know about the others.»

«I'm sorry my mother put you under that spell to protect me - all those years ago. Are you really free of it now? If you're not, perhaps I can-»

«I'm free of it.»

«I'm sorry you had so much trouble fulfilling its terms - not knowing whether it was Luke or me you were supposed to be guarding. Who'd have known there'd be two Amberites in the same neighborhood in Berkeley?»

«I'm not sorry.»

«What do you mean?»

«I came for directions. I want to know how I can find Luke.»

«Why, in Kashfa. He was just crowned king the other day. What do you need him for?»

«Hadn't you guessed?»

«No.»

«I'm in love with him. Always was. Now that I'm free of the geas and have a body of my own, I want him to know that I was Gail - and how I feel. Thanks, Merlin. Good-bye.»

«Wait! «

«Yes?»

«I never said thanks for your protecting me all those years-even if it was only a compulsion for you, even if it got to be a big bother for me. Thanks, and good luck.»

She smiled and faded away. I reached out and touched the mirror.

«Luck,» I thought I heard her say.

Strange. It was a dream. Still - I couldn't awaken, and: it felt real. I

«You made it back to the Courts in time for all the scheming, I see» - this from a mirror three paces ahead, black-bound and narrow.

I moved to it. My brother Jurt glared out at me.

«What do you want?» I asked.

His face was an angry parody of my own.

«I want you never to have been,» he said. «Failing that, I'd like to see you dead.»

«What's your third choice?» I asked.

«Your confinement to a private hell, I guess.»

«Why?»

«You stand between me and everything I want.»

«I'll be glad to step aside. Tell me how.»

«There's no way you can or will, on your own.»

«So you hate me?»

«Yes.»

«I thought your bath in the Fountain destroyed your emotions.»

«I didn't get the full treatment, and it only made them stronger.»

«Any way we can forget the whole thing and start over again, be friends?»

«Never.»

«Didn't think so.»

«She always cared more about you than me, and now you're going to have the throne.»

«Don't be ridiculous. I don't want it.»

«Your desires have nothing to do with the matter.»

«I won't have it:»

«Yes, you will - unless I kill you first.»

«Don't be stupid. It's not worth this.»

«One day soon, when you least expect it, you will turn and see me. It will be too late.»

The mirror grew entirely black.

«Jurt!»

Nothing. Aggravating, having to put up with him in dream as well as waking.

I turned my head toward a fire-framed minor several paces ahead and to my left, knowing - somehow - it was next on my route. I moved toward it.