L. Modesitt - Imager

She looked up at me, questioningly, still, holding me.

“You’re both honest. She could have said nothing, just encouraged you, made things easy. You could have said nothing. Neither of you did. For that, I respect you both.” I kissed Seliora gently.

What I didn’t say was that her grandmama knew how to use honesty to the greatest effect . . . or that I might need Seliora and her family every bit as much as they needed me. But then, I doubted that I needed to say it. Seliora already understood that, whether she consciously knew it or not.

“You don’t mind?”

“No. Not in the slightest.” Perhaps strangely, I didn’t. I’d already learned that having needs didn’t make a person less-or more.

The kiss and embrace that followed my words made any words superfluous.

We had barely reseated ourselves and gained a measure of composure when I heard footsteps on the wooden floor of the short hallway from the main upper hall.

Seliora gave me a wry smile as she blotted her eyes. I only had to swallow several times.

Grandmama Diestra stepped out onto the porch, favoring one leg. She looked at Seliora, then at me. “I see you told him, girl.”

“No, Grandmama. I offered him a few words, and he told me.”

She looked at me. “Is that right?”

“Yes, madame.”

She nodded. “You two are right for each other. That doesn’t mean it will work out. Working it out means working it out. You’re right for this family, Rhennthyl, and this family is right for you. Will that work out? I don’t know. What I do know is that inside a family, or between a husband and a wife, secrets destroy trust. So does a failure to talk honestly and directly, but not hurtfully. Marriages and families are built on trust.”

What could I say to that?

“What do you have to say about that, Rhennthyl?”

“Seeing what you want to see is another form of dishonesty. Are you seeing what you want or what really is?”

Diestra laughed. “That’s a good question. Self-deception would destroy everything I’ve built, and I’m too old to bother with it. You’ve seen the dangers of self-deception in others. What about in yourself?”

“I’m too young to be expert in it, but it would be easy enough to fall into that habit.”

“Fairly put.” She nodded. “Whatever you two decide, decide it honestly.” With that, she turned and left.

For a moment, Seliora and I just looked at each other.

“Is she always that direct?”

“When no one but family is present . . . always. With outsiders, sometimes. She was talking to you as family.”

I took a long slow breath. “I’ve been avoiding it, but . . . you need to meet my family. It’s not you; it’s me. Mother has been after me to ‘find the right girl’ for years. But part of me worries that no one will be right so far as she’s concerned because she’s so into form and formality. Since I’m trying to be honest, there are two parts to that. The first part is that I don’t want to face disapproval. The second part is that I don’t want to put you through an examination and silent inquisition.”

Seliora laughed.

“I didn’t think it was funny.”

The laugh turned into a gentle smile. “It’s not. I worried horribly when you had to meet the family. I was laughing about your calling it the ‘silent inquisition.’ That is what mothers often do. So do sisters and cousins. I’ve done it to Odelia. Most men don’t notice, or they pretend not to.”

“Her previous escort?”

“He wasn’t suitable.”

“After what Grandmama Diestra just said, I’d hate to think what she’d have said . . .” I shook my head. “She wouldn’t have said anything, would she? I just wouldn’t have ever been able to get in touch with you, except by literally kidnapping you, would I? And that would have been anything but wise.”

“You understand more than you want to admit.” After a pause, Seliora added, “When do you think the examination over dinner will take place?”

“I’d guess that Mother will want it on the twenty-eighth. Samedis are about the only truly free night I have right now, and I’d be surprised if Father will be back by this coming weekend. Mother is in Solis visiting Aunt Ilena. I’ll have to write her about it, and she won’t get a letter before Mardi, and it might not be until later in the week . . .”

Seliora nodded. “You’ll let me know.”

“I will indeed.” The letter to my parents was one letter I wasn’t looking forward to writing in the slightest.

Seliora turned and faced me, looking solemn. Then her grin appeared. “Since we’ve been ordered to be honest, tell me what you like best about me.”

That was scarcely a trial. “I was stunned and bedazzled by the fact that you asked me to dance . . . and I still am. And what do you like about me?”

“That you could take the disappointment of leaving the guild and rebuild your life without self-pity . . .”

We spent more than a glass in that fashion, growing more serious as we talked, before I realized that I needed to go, a revelation hastened by several rolls of thunder from the approaching storm. Our parting was brief, if amorous, and I did manage to hail a hack and climb inside before raindrops began to splatter on the stone pavement of Nordroad.

I gave the hacker a three coppers extra, then hurried from the hack toward the bridge, with the rain pelting down around me. Along the way, I learned that even strong shields didn’t stop rain . . . or not much, and I wondered why. I’d have to experiment with that-but not dressed as I was.

Once I returned from services at the Imagisle anomen on Solayi, I drafted and then re-drafted a letter to Mother. Then I wrote it once more and set it aside. On Lundi morning, after exercises and a run where I finished somewhat closer to Dartazn, I struggled back to my quarters, showered, shaved, and dressed. Then I read the letter a last time.

Dear Mother,

For some time now, you have been suggesting that I needed to find a young lady who was intelligent, congenial, and suitable. In view of your wisdom in this matter, I have quietly been pursuing that objective and believe I have discovered such a young woman. Inasmuch as you have suggested that you would like to have me and a suitable young lady of my choosing for dinner, I would like to ask if that invitation remains open for me and Mistress Seliora D’Shelim.

Rather than write too much about her, I will only say that she comes from a well-off and commercially successful family and is quite intelligent. She has a solid knowledge of the textile field and numerous manufacturers, and I believe you will find her most charming.

I signed, sealed, and addressed it, then tucked it into my uniform-we were allowed to wear the Council uniforms to breakfast-and headed to the dining hall. On the way into eat, I picked up one of the newsheets- Veritum -and scanned the lead story on the diplomatic communique sent from the High Priest of Caenen to the Council-and clearly leaked to the newsheet. Part of the quoted text read, “. . . we strive for a vision of Duality that is true to our faith but a vision that also encompasses peace and prosperity for all Terahnar . . .” The story also noted that the Caenenan forces near the border with Tiempre had “completed their training maneuvers” and were returning to their regular bases.

Another story near the bottom of the front side of the sheet reported on a series of explosions in near-abandoned dwellings in taudis in Nacliano near Estisle, Liantiago near Westisle, and a particularly large explosion in the “area known as the hellhole” near L’Excelsis. Civic patrollers found a number of bodies, as well as materials and weapons linked to a “certain foreign government.” The exact causes of the explosions were unknown, but thought to be the “accidental” detonation of unstable explosives.