Roger Zelazny - Nine Princes In Amber

My head ached so, and there was nothing of peace within me.

I slept as much as I could, and no one came to see me. I awakened and crossed my cell and felt for food and ate it when I found it. I slept as much as I could.

After seven sleeps, the pain was gone from out my eye sockets. I hated my brother who was king in Amber. Better he had killed me.

I wondered at the popular reaction, but could not guess.

When the darkness reached as far as Amber, however, I knew that Eric would have his regrets. This much I knew, and this comforted me.

Thus began my days of darkness, and I had no way of measuring their passage. Even if I had had eyes, I could not have distinguished day from night in that place.

Time went on its way, ignoring me. There were occasions when I broke into a sweat over this and shivered. Had I been there months? Only hours? Or weeks? Or had it been years?

I forgot all about time. I slept, I paced (I knew exactly where to place my feet and when to turn), and I reflected upon things I had done and hadn’t done. Sometimes I would sit cross-legged and breathe slowly and deeply, and empty my mind and keep it that way for as long as I could. This helped — thinking of nothing.

Eric had been clever. Although the power lived within me, now it was useless. A blind man cannot walk among Shadows.

My beard had grown down to my chest and my hair was long. I was always hungry at first, but after a time my appetite waned. Sometimes I grew dizzy when I stood up too rapidly.

I could still see, in my nightmares, but this hurt me even more when I awakened.

Later, though, I felt somewhat distant from the events which had led up to this. It was almost as though they had happened to a different person. And this, too, was true.

I had lost a lot of weight. I could visualize myself, pallid and thin. I couldn’t even cry, though I felt like it a couple of times. There was something wrong with my tear ducts. It was a dreadful thing that any man should be brought to this.

Then one day there came a light scratching upon the door. I ignored it.

It came again, and still I did not respond.

Then I heard my name whispered, in the interrogative.

I crossed the cell.

“Yes?” I replied.

“It’s me, Rein,” he said. “How are you?”

I laughed at that.

“Fine! Oh just fine!” I said. “Steak and champagne every night, and dancing girls. God! You should make the scene sometime!”

“I’m sorry,” he said, “that there is nothing I can do for you,” and I could feel the pain in his voice.

“I know,” I said.

“I would if I could,” he told me.

“I know that, too.”

“I brought you something. Here.”

The little gate at the bottom of the cell door creaked slightly as it swung inward several times.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Some clean clothes,” he said, “and three loaves of fresh bread, a head of cheese, some beef, two bottles of wine, a carton of cigarettes, and a lot of matches.”

My voice caught in my throat.

“Thanks, Rein. You’re all right. How did you arrange this?”

“I know the guard who’s standing duty this shift. He won’t talk. He owes me too much.”

“He might try to cancel his debts by squealing,” I said. “So don’t do it again — much as I appreciate it. Needless to say, I’ll dispose of the evidence.”

“I wish it had turned out different, Corwin.”

“You and me both. Thanks for thinking of me when you were ordered not to.”

“That part was easy.” he said.

“How long have I been in this place?”

“Four months and ten days,” he said.

“So what’s new in Amber?”

“Eric reigns. That’s all.”

“Where’s Julian?”

“Back in the Forest of Arden with his guard.”

“Why?”

“Some strange things made it through Shadow recently.”

“I see. How about Caine?”

“He’s still in Amber, enjoying himself. Wenching and drinking, mostly.”

“And Gerard?”

“He’s admiral of the entire fleet.”

I sighed with a bit of relief. I was afraid his withdrawal during the naval engagement might have cost him something with Eric.

“And what of Random?”

“He’s up the hall aways.”

“What? He was taken?”

“Yes. He walked the Pattern in Rebma and showed up here, with a crossbow. He wounded Eric before he was taken.”

“Really? Why wasn’t he slain?”

“Well, rumor has it he’s married a noblewoman of Rebma. Eric didn’t want to court an incident with Rebma at this point. Moire has quite a kingdom, and there is talk that Eric is even considering asking her to be his queen. All gossip, of course. But interesting.”

“Yes,” I said.

“She liked you, didn’t she?”

“Somewhat. How did you hear?”

“I was present when Random was sentenced. I got to speak with him for a moment. The Lady Vialle, who claims to be his wife, has asked to join him in prison. Eric is not yet certain how to reply.”

I thought upon the blind girl, who I had never met, and I wondered at this.

“How long ago did all this happen?” I asked.

“Mm. Thirty-four days,” he replied. “That was when Random showed up. A week later, Vialle made her request.”

“She must be a strange woman, If she really loves Random,”

“Those were my sentiments,” he replied. “I can’t think of a more unusual combination.”

“If you should get to see him again, give him my regards and my regrets.”

“Yes.”

“How fare my sisters?”

“Dierdre and Llewella remain in Rebma. The Lady Florimel has been enjoying Eric’s favors and stands high in the present court. I do not know where Fiona is presently.”

“Has anything more been heard of Bleys? I am sure that he died.”

“He must have died,” said Rein, “His body was never recovered, though.”

“What of Benedict?”

“As absent as ever.”

“How about Brand?”

“No word.”

“Then I guess that covers the whole family tree, as it stands at present. Have you written any new ballads?”

“No,” he said. “I’m still working on ‘The Siege of Amber,’ but it will be an underground hit, if at all.”

I reached my hand out through the tiny gate at the bottom of the door.

“I would clasp hands with thee,” I said, and I felt his hand touch mine.

“It was good of thee to do this thing for me. Don’t do it again, though. It would he foolish to risk Eric’s wrath.”

He squeezed my hand, muttered something, and was gone.

I found his CARE package and stuffed myself with the meat, which was the most perishable item. I ate a lot of the bread to accompany it, and I realized that I had almost forgotten how good food can taste. Then I grew drowsy and slept. I don’t think I slept very long, and when I awoke I opened one of the bottles of wine.

It didn’t take as much as usual, in my weakened condition, to get me kind of high. I had a cigarette, sat down on my mattress, leaned back against the wall, and mused.

I remembered Rein as a child. I was already full grown by then and he was a candidate for court jester. A thin, wise kid. People had kidded him too much. Me included. But I wrote music, composed ballads, and he’d picked up a lute somewhere and had taught himself how to use it. Soon we were singing with voices together raised and all like that, and before long I took a liking to him and we worked together, practicing the martial arts. He was lousy at them. But I felt kind of sorry for the way I had treated him earlier, what with the way he had dug my stuff, so I forced the fake graces upon him and also made him a passable saber man. I’d never regretted it, and I guess he didn’t either. Before long, he became minstrel to the court of Amber. I had called him my page all that while, and when the wars beckoned, against the dark things out of Shadow called Weirmonken, I made him my squire, and we had ridden off to the wars together. I knighted him upon the battlefield, at Jones Falls, and he had deserved it. After that, he had gone on to become my better when it came to the ways of words and music. His colors were crimson and his words were golden. I loved him, as one of my two or three friends in Amber. I didn’t think he’d take the risk he had to bring me a decent meal, though. I didn’t think anyone would. I had another drink and smoked another cigarette, in his name, to celebrate him. He was a good man. I wondered how long he would survive.