Hugh Cook - The Wishstone and the Wonderworkers

What are you thinking of, Chegory?’ said the free-floating Shabble.

‘I want to live.’

Tm glad, Chegory darling. I don’t want you to die.’

‘No,’ said Chegory. ‘But someone has to.’

Now he understood.

Now he saw the way it had to be.

For what he intended, Chegory needed a death. Therefore at sunset he made his way to Uckermark’s corpse shop in the slums of Lubos. Yilda alone was in residence, for her lover had yet to return from Jod.

Since Chegory had so many other things on his mind, he quite forgot that Yilda was deaf and therefore needed to be shouted at. So when he asked the obvious question he did so at ordinary conversational volume. Nevertheless, he was understood, either because Yilda could lip-read or because she had no need to be deaf when Uckermark was absent. She answered his query in the affirmative: yes, soldiers had been there earlier that day, looking for him. After that, Yilda had some obvious questions of her own which demanded answers.

‘I left him on Jod,’ said Chegory. ‘He was okay then. But there was… there was, like, a bit of trouble. The Hermit Crab on one side, Varazchavardan on the other.’

‘When was this?’ said Yilda.

‘Uh, not long after breakfast. Not that I’ve actually had breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner, come to that. I’m not dropping hints, mind. No — I’m asking point blank. Is there anything to eat? Because I’m starving!’

A long meal followed then longer explanations. Then at last Chegory broached the delicate matter which had brought him to the corpse shop. For, as a rule, the corpse shop knows who is dying, and when.

‘A death,’ said Yilda slowly. ‘Deaths are… are very private matters.’

‘I know,’ said Chegory. ‘But..

He had only asked because his need was dire. And Yilda knew his need by now, and understood.

‘Stay,’ said she.

Then she left the corpse shop, and undokondra had given way to bardardornootha before she returned. She found Chegory still awake, talking quietly with Shabble. To his spherical friend the Ebrell Islander was betraying his innermost thoughts, his most private moments — though he should have known better. For Shabble has but scant sense of confidentiality.

‘How did it go?’ said Chegory.

‘She agrees,’ said Yilda.

‘She?’

‘Women die, as do men.’

‘I’d… never mind.’

‘Then come,’ said Yilda.

‘Should we hurry?’

‘No need to hurry,’ said Yilda. ‘She’s been days already and mav be days yet.’

‘Where are we going?’ said Shabble.

“You’re not going anywhere!’ said Yilda. ‘Least of all with us!’

‘But I want to!’ said Shabble. ‘I want to come!’ ‘Shabble, Shabble, Shabble dearest,’ said Chegory, ‘this will be ugly-’

“No/ said Yilda. ‘Not ugly. But hard. And private. Very private.’

“But if I don’t come,’ said Shabble, ‘I’ll be all lonely.’ ‘No you won’t,’ said Chegory. ‘You’ll be going to Jod. That’s right. You go to Jod then you find Pelagius Zozimus. The master chef, right? Wake him up. Then get him to ask the Hermit Crab if you can have an audience.’

‘But,’ protested Shabble, ‘But-’

“Oh yes,’ said Chegory. ‘But this, but that and but the other. I know! You’re at war with the Crab! So that’s why Zozimus goes first. To pave the way. Diplomacy. You know the word? Good. When you get to see the Hermit Crab — no, you will, believe me — give the Crab my message.’ Then Chegory gave Shabble a message for the Crab which told the Crab what Chegory was doing — and what Chegory would like the Crab to do in return. Then Shabble, glowing no brighter than a firefly, took Shabbleself off to Jod, while Chegory and Yilda slipped out into the moonless night.

Precisely where they went that night is uncertain, but it is known that they went to a death. Precisely who died, or how, is unknown, but it is known that Chegory learnt that night that people die hard. It is not known whether the demon Binchinminfin accepted the opportunity of exodus when Chegory and Yilda first arrived at the dying or after they had waited at the deathbed for some time. What is known is that, even after the demon had departed his flesh, Chegory stayed till the end, for he felt it was the least he could do.

What is also known is that he later wept when he told Olivia about it. Oh, not all about it, but a little. It is possible, of course, that he wept not for that dying but for hers — and for his. For he knew that they, too, must first die out of the world of their youth and then, later, die out of the world altogether. Or it is possible that he wept simply because he was fatigued beyond endurance.

Certainly it is known that when at last young Chegory Guy got to a bed and was free to sleep he was dead to the world for a night and a day and the night beyond.

But he healed, he healed, for he was young, and strong, and had the ox-muscled constitution one expects from the scion of a race of whale-killers.

Here, as we finish, is one last secret — the greatest and most secret of them all. The General Amnesty announced and enforced by the Hermit Crab was not the Crab’s idea at all It was the Ebrell Islander, Chegory Guy, who had first concaved the idea of such an Amnesty and had then sent an emisary (Shabble) to put the idea to the Crab.

As a rule, the Crab did not intervene in human politics, knowing such intervention to be a singularly thankless task. But Chegory had argued that the Crab should, since, first, an Ebrell Islander’s genius (!) had seen the demon Binchinminfin returned to the World Beyond without the Crab having to shoulder the guilt-burden of murder, and, second, fay proclaiming and enforcing an Amnesty the Crab would win Chegorys eternal gratitude.

We must assume that the Crab discounted the second argument entirely, since the worth of an Ebrell Islander’s gratitude is well known. Nevertheless, the first argument must have carried a considerable amount of weight, for the Crab did Speak.

W hen the Crab chose to Speak, then it was Obeyed. Aquitaine Varazchavardan and Justina Thrug met in a rnmpiihra j Conference chaired by the Hermit Crab and were forced to accept each other as, respectively, Master of law and E mp res s. As far as was practicable, any property looted during the recent unrest was returned to its lawful owners. (Justina got the wishstone back.) A General Pardon was issued for all criminal acts committed during the Days of Disturbance, and similar provisions were made with respect to the civil law lest the courts be choked with lawsuits of all descriptions.

Naturally, this satisfied nobody.

Varazchavardan did not want to be Justina’s Master of Law. He wanted to be her executioner. She, for her part, could happily have castrated him after his recent display of disloyalty. The Malud marauders Al-ran Lars, Arnaut and Tolon were greatly disappointed at the prospect of having to depart from Injiltaprajura without any of the loot which they might yet have been able to wrest from the island had civil war and general anarchy prevailed. As for Guest Gulkan, he was in the most murderous rage imaginable, and it took the combined efforts of Pelagius Zozimus and Hostaja Sken-Pitilkin to convince him that he could not oppose the Hermit Crab. Or not just yet. Not just now.

Dissatisfaction among the general public ran just as high. There had been a State of Emergency, theft from the treasury, revolution, insurrection, rioting, looting, escapes from custody, contempts of court and goodness knows what else. Surely someone was to blame. Surely someone should be blamed, beaten, beheaded, burnt alive or sharked in the lagoon. Different factions of the public gave loyalty to Varazchavardan, to Justina or to their own self interest — but all were united in a bloody lust to see somebody pay for what had happened.