Paul Kidd - Queen of the Demonweb Pits

"An abduction?" The ibis recoiled in fright. "You? A benevolent energy being?"

"I'm not an energy being! I'm a skinny faerie with the universe's most perfect butt!" The energy being thrashed in panic. "Jus! Little help here!"

Still holding Cinders rolled on his shoulder, the Justicar punched their guide with enough force to slide the creature out of sight amongst the curtains.

"Boring conversation anyway."

"Come on!" Escalla changed back into her usual form. "Let's move!"

Nine-foot-tall guardians made of solid stone heard the noise, turned in puzzlement, then started forward to investigate. Escalla waved happily at them and pointed to Henry, who still looked like an idiot in his polymorphed disguise of ibis head and kilt. She tried to feed the guards another lie.

"Hey! We're interlopers here to expose your sham of an afterlife!" Escalla stamped and cursed. "Damn it! This tell-only-the-truth thing is screwing up my best fast talk!"

"Escalla!" Henry's feathers flapped in panic. "It's not working! Change me back! Change me back!"

"Relax, they'll fall for it!" Escalla gave an easy shrug, apparently oblivious to the two stone behemoths stomping toward them. "Trust me! I'm a faerie!"

Jus dragged his sword out from inside Cinders's rolled hide and crashed Benelux into the guts of a charging stone guardian. Benelux sheared through solid stone, spraying chips and gravel as she blasted out through the juggernaut's back. The stone being fell in two, both halves thrashing madly in rage. Jus swirled, hacked the hand off the second statue, whipped about twice more and smashed off its leg and head. He grabbed Escalla as she whooped and applauded him, breaking into a lumbering run as they crossed the hall of Thoth.

On the huge throne, the great god Thoth stirred. The disturbance at the far end of the hall had reached his notice. Guards ran for the little group of fugitives and were left in parts on the floor as the intruders escaped. The god Thoth pointed a finger in command, and as one, all ten thousand supplicants turned, roared, and chased after the blasphemous infidels.

Thoth stood and roared, shooting bolts of light that blasted huge craters in the floor.

With a wave of enraged inhumanity hot on her tail, Escalla looked over the Justicar's shoulder as he ran through the hall.

"Wow! These people are pissed!"

A blast of light splintered a titanic column mere inches away. Hundreds of tons of stonework thundered through the air, and the ceiling began to collapse. Column after column tilted and smashed into each other, one after another. A wall of dust and debris hid the onrushing crowd from Jus, Escalla, and Henry. The Justicar pelted around a corner, ducked a sword wielded by a jabbering ibis-man, and felled the creature with a blow of his hand.

"Escalla! Do you have any idea where we're going?"

"Sure! Trust me! I'm a faerie!" Escalla opened the portable hole on Jus's belt and stuck her head inside. "Hey, Polk? Polk! Check the thingie!"

"I'm doin' it! I'm doin' it! But you can't rush art. I've tried to teach that fact to so many, but they just don't listen. Art's from the soul, girl! Soul! You don't rush soul. You do that, you get bad-"

"Polk! We're a little stressed for time here!" Escalla fired off a lightning bolt that blasted through a dozen crocodile-headed guards. "Could you just-you know-do it?"

Grumbling away, Polk sat beside a big bowl of enchanted water. Floating on the water was a wooden disk, and upon the disk was Enid's tail. The tail swung about, settled, and ended up pointing in a steady line. Polk sniffed and, cocking one eye, looked up at the faerie.

"That way!" He pointed in the direction indicated by the tuft of Enid's fluffy tail. "Is the boy still dawdling? Are we there yet?"

Leaning through the hole, the sound of sword fighting loud behind her, Escalla gave the tail a scowl.

"How do you know it's not the other way? You know-maybe the wet end points the way?"

"Do you want art, or do you want argument?" Polk pointed an imperious paw. "I'm a quadruped. I know tails! Now get goin'. We've got real work to do elsewhere!"

"Fine!" The faerie cast a cloud of choking fog to block the passageway behind her. "Sheesh! Badgers are so grouchy before their mid-morning nap!"

Folding his paws and muttering, Polk looked over to the tanar'ri who sheltered at the far side of the portable hole. She was gnawing all six sets of nails. Polk sniffed and shook his head.

"No gumption! Young folks today just have no gumption! Stop frettin', woman! It's only the halls of the gods!"

With her scales a horrid shade of grey, Morag rocked back and forth in panic.

"Oh, we are going to be killed." The demon heard a fireball detonate overhead, accompanied by the battle cry of thousands of Thoth's followers. "What am I doing here?"

Escalla popped her head in through the lip of the hole.

"I told you! You do the teleport thing for us, and dad will have your dream castle made, furnished-he'll even put in gardens! Peace and quiet-a love nest where the Blood Wars never go." The faerie gave an airy little wave. "So chill already! You're in a portable hole. What could possibly go wrong? Trust me! I'm a faerie!"

Escalla disappeared. Seething, Morag thrashed her tail and said, "I do wish she would stop saying that."

Outside the portable hole, the battle raged. They were deep amidst vast mazes of book-laden shelves that towered a hundred feet high. Librarians atop spindly ladders clutched for dear life as Jus and Escalla rampaged below, knocking into shelves and toppling ladders behind them. Still carrying a heavy brass urn of water, still with his ibis head and beak, Henry gave an apologetic bob and nod as he passed the librarians and hurried after his friends. Polk called out from down in the portable hole, and Escalla halted hovering at the next intersection and shoved her friends into a new row of shelves.

"That way! Hurry!"

The sound of the pursuing multitudes was like an onrushing tidal wave. The Justicar led the way, Cinders's smoke trailing behind him as he ran. The big man turned a corner, there was a thunderous roar, and the bookshelf just above him blasted apart as a huge lion paw came crashing through the air.

A titanic being loomed over the intruders. The creature was monstrous-a huge statue of black marble thirty feet high. Part hippopotamus, part crocodile, part lion, it roared and smashed down with a paw. Shelves splintered and tumbled in all directions. Escalla went tumbling in midair and landed hard upon her backside, bruising it fiercely. She shot to her feet, chittering in rage.

"You cut-price bag of golem puke!" She flew at the monster in an insane rage. "I'll get you for that!"

Jus stamped in anger as he saw her shoot by.

"Escalla! No!"

The faerie flew at the monster like an enraged gnat attacking a bear. She whacked the creature on its backside with her newly recharged lich staff. Stone chips flew, cracks began to work their way through the behemoth, and the monster whirled awkwardly around and about like a monstrous dog chasing its own tail. It crashed into shelves five stories high, which tilted, crashed, and fell into more shelves, then more, then more…

A crash and jumble came as the wisdom of the ages hit the floor and was trampled underfoot. The multitudes pursuing the interlopers were buried under the shelves. Somewhere in the distance, the god Thoth could be heard roaring in anger. All hell was breaking loose. The Justicar stopped in place, opened his hands and formed magic between his palms. The wooden shelves of the nearest library racks suddenly burst to life, shooting out leaves, branches, and tendrils. The vines snatched at the huge monster, forcing it to blunder clumsily about. Taking Benelux in his hand, the Justicar ran straight for the behemoth's nearest paw.