Zachary Rawlins - The Anathema

“Finally,” Leigh said, rubbing her side where she had been kicked. “Can I kill them, Chris? Both of them?”

Chris nodded happily. He was overwhelmed with pride, but that was normal, right? He was her guardian, after all. And she had turned out to be such a good girl.

“It’s hard to describe,” Emily whispered, her lips so close to his ear that she barely needed to make any sound at all. “Whatever you think it is, it isn’t like that. The Outer Dark is beautiful, Alex.”

“If you say so,” Alex said agreeably. He had been bothered for a while by the nagging feeling that he had forgotten something important, but he was so comfortable here, so pleasantly drowsy with Emily in his arms, that it was starting to fade in importance. “What is it?”

“It’s a place… sort of. It’s an idea,” Emily said quietly, running her fingers down the length of his arm. “It’s like Central. It’s somewhere in the Ether, near the very edge — did you know it has edges? I didn’t, not until I saw it. But that’s what the Outer Dark is, Alex. It’s the place where the Ether ends and there is nothing above it but an empty sky. There are no stars, Alex,” she said, pausing to nip at his ear playfully. “There are no stars in the sky. The sun never rises. At first, it was frightening. But after they show you, after they help you to see, it isn’t frightening at all. It’s beautiful. We will go there together, Alex, you and me. Not long now. The fighting seems to have stopped, for the most part. Central belongs to us, you belong to me, all is right with the world, and, very soon, Alistair will come to finish things here and then we can go.”

“Alistair?” Alex asked, alarmed. “Why would Alistair come here?”

Emily laughed and patted him on the head affectionately.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said brightly. “Don’t worry about anything. Let’s talk about something else, alright?”

“Okay. Where’s Therese, anyway? I haven’t seen her at all since before everything got weird…”

Emily sighed, rested her chin on his chest, and looked pouty.

“I’m not sure that Therese is gonna be okay. She’s always been ambitious. This whole thing was her idea, obviously. Using me to turn you over to the Anathema — and doesn’t that embody everything that’s wrong with this place? My own sister decides to use me the exact same way the people she’s trying to protect me from were planning to, for my own good, no less. I guess even that isn’t enough for her. Not that I’m one to talk. But I know my limits, and Therese never has. They made her… special there, in the Outer Dark. Stronger. I think it may have gone to her head.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not really sure what it is you are saying.”

“Therese stayed back at the island,” Emily said sadly. “She wanted to fight with Anastasia.”

Anastasia tapped Therese’s head with the toe of her shoe. Once, twice, nothing. She sighed as she looked down at her, shook her head, hugged herself though it was not cold, and turned back toward the waterlogged hill behind her, topped by the ruins of her vacation home.

It wasn’t telepathy hiding him or anything like that. She simply didn’t notice he was there until he was right in front of her. She was startled, and made a very small noise before she got her hand to her mouth, causing herself a great deal of embarrassment. To Renton’s credit, he acted as if he hadn’t heard a thing, which was more than a little bit out of character.

“I was wondering if you had decided to kill me or not” Renton said, scratching a bruised cheek topped with a rapidly forming black eye. “Because I’m tired of waiting, Ana.”

“This is a spectacularly bad time to have this discussion,” Anastasia pointed out tersely, gesturing to take in both the ruined island and the corpse behind her.

“Right, but, well, I’ve had a series of unpleasant experiences today, so if at all possible, I’d like to get this out of the way before we get back to killing people.”

“Fair enough,” Anastasia acknowledged, wishing that there was somewhere she could sit down without risking further damage to her already marred dress. “To answer your question, Renton, your rather stupid question, I have never once, even briefly, considered killing you.”

“I was wrong?” Renton asked, looking unaccountably disappointed. “I figured, when Timor showed up, that’s what you had in mind. The kid seems like a pushover, which is a bit insulting, honestly. But then why are you looking to replace me?”

Anastasia glared at him until he grinned and looked away.

“Right, sorry,” Renton said, laughing. “I guess I know. But you know I’ve always done my best for you, Ana…”

“You don’t have to try and convince me. It isn’t as if I’ll be replacing you now.”

“Wait… why not?”

“Must I say it?” Anastasia said tersely, looking away. “My sisters. You saved them. The attack started and then you went and saved the only people who matter to me. I haven’t forgotten who you are, your loyalty, or what you are capable of.”

Renton nodded his agreement. He looked about as battered as she had ever seen him, with his suit in tatters, and cuts and bruises distributed liberally about his face, chest and arms, but that made sense. He had, after all, been very busy.

“But, Renton, it’s important that you understand something. This was a position you put me in. A situation that you created,” Anastasia said sternly. “Because you have worked for me for so many years, I am going to make myself extra clear. Do you understand what the problem is?”

“I suppose,” Renton said, scuffing his shoe on the ground. “What can I say? I can’t help how I feel.”

“You can, trust me,” Anastasia assured him bitterly. “It’s inappropriate and unnecessary, Renton. It was one thing when you had the good sense to keep it private. Now that you’ve started making it public, people are noticing, and talking, and you know perfectly well I can’t have that. You know who I am and why this is important. I shouldn’t have to explain it to you.”

“No, you don’t, it’s just that…”

“Believe me, Renton; I’m not confused about what you are thinking. Would it help at all if I told you that I was a lesbian?”

Renton’s jaw didn’t drop, but he did miss a beat.

“…are you?”

Anastasia shook her head.

“Not even slightly,” she admitted. “I just thought it might make you feel better about things.”

“I appreciate the gesture.”

“Anyway, you know as well as I do that any match I make would be political,” Anastasia said, making sure she sounded matter-of-fact, and not resigned. “The good of the Black Sun comes first, Renton.”

“You don’t have to let the precognitive pool decide this for you!” Renton shouted, gesturing angrily. “Come on, Ana! You never let anyone tell you what to do.”

“I don’t. I also understand that I wasn’t simply born into power and wealth. I was born to rule. I have never had a life of my own, Renton, and I never will. The power and the wealth, this is my compensation for putting the good of the cartel before my own. Leading the Black Sun requires excellence and total devotion, even my poor father understands that. Why can’t you?”

“I do understand,” Renton said sullenly. “I just love you anyway.”

Anastasia’s expression was icy.

“Did you think I would be happy to hear that? Maybe feel sorry for you?” Anastasia demanded, clearly furious. “Look, I need to know this is dealt with. I need you to understand that, even if I had a choice in the matter, I still wouldn’t pick you.”

Renton laughed sharply.