Tim Marquitz - At The Gates

Thinking back on what I’d said about Katon earlier, I apologized out loud. “We men are weak.” Apparently he wasn’t the only one heading down the road toward Whipsville. Oh, how the mighty have fallen, one split-thighed encounter sealing the deal.

Though I was reluctant to wash away the smell of Karra, which clung so pleasantly to my skin, I needed a cold shower or I’d never be able to zip my pants back up. At last, I dragged myself to the bathroom and climbed under the frigid spray. It took several long minutes, my penis bound and determined to resist, before icicles started to form on my balls and it gave in, a limp, defeated shade of blue. My teeth clacking together, I climbed out of the shower and dried off. Back out in the living room, Chatterbox greeted me with catcalls and lurid commentary.

“ Twennnnnnnnttttttttyyyyyyy-oooooonnneeeeee, Twennnnnnnnttttttttyyyyyy — sssssssspppllaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! ”

So what if the shower took longer? I gave him the finger and got ready to go.

My gun loaded, ammunition stockpiled, I slipped a wrapped vial of my uncle’s blood in my pocket, all while trying not to think of who it had come from. Despite the angry thoughts that crept to life unbidden, its value outweighed my petty misgivings. I could be stupid later. You could almost set your watch by it.

The pleasure of Karra soured by Lucifer’s unexpected betrayal and the slaughterhouse I was about to return to, I ground my teeth and headed out to collect Scarlett and Katon. It was time to do what I do best.

Stumble into danger and hope I make it out alive.

I should really start thinking about a plan B.

After I’d rounded up the Wonder Twins, their moods dark and palpably angry, we hitched a ride with Rachelle to where Longinus had told me Adam had been buried.

The Temple of the Holy Sepulchre; Golgotha.

The old Jerusalem site but one location of a number rumored to contain the mortal remains of Adam, the stories have always downplayed Golgotha as unlikely because it contradicts what is universally accepted as the truth of Christ’s confirmed history. The Bible states he was buried in a tomb never before occupied. For Adam to be there first, that would have to be false, thus the location was discounted.

That’s what you get when you have humans keeping track of things way beyond their lifespan and understanding. It’s all conjecture and bullshit after a certain point. The most unlikely of options becomes reality.

So, there we were. Once again, the time factor played into our favor. Nighttime darkness in full swing, we wouldn’t have to worry about sightseers tromping through the place. The most we were likely to run into would be a janitor or two, maybe a security guard. With all the storms battering the world, it was more likely we wouldn’t see anyone.

While the church was far from modern, its historical and religious relevance precluding a high tech security system, trying to sneak in from the outside would have been a hassle we didn’t need to attempt. So thinking, Rachelle dropped us inside the main chapel, into the Basilica of the Sepulchre.

Amusingly enough, we arrived right around the corner from a chapel dedicated to Longinus. I got a good laugh out of that and earned a vicious stare from Katon. Some people just don’t see the humor in things, but I guess I couldn’t really blame him.

Scarlett had been in Heaven when Longinus was resurrected, and probably didn’t even know he was alive because of the war. There hadn’t been a whole lot of time to chit chat and catch her up on things. Considering how sensitive Scarlett was at the moment, I guessed Katon didn’t want me to drop that bomb just yet. It made sense. So when she looked at me with suspicious eyes and wondered what I was laughing at, I just shook my head.

“I never thought I’d be here, that’s all,” I lied, gesturing to the chapel around us. “Not really my scene, you know?”

The Basilica was awash in gold and reds, hints of white splattered throughout to limit the gaudiness of it all. The altar at the end of the chapel was dark and the numerous golden candle holders arrayed near the dais were unlit. The elaborate chandelier that held court over the center of the room glistened, ambient light reflected in the multitude of its crystal faces. A quiet creak echoed through the empty hall as it swayed in the gentle breeze that circulated through the chapel. The air was cool despite the heat outside, air conditioning most likely the one modern convenience that hadn’t been overlooked.

Above our head, set at the very apex of the dome, was the Pantokrator mosaic. The illuminated image of a gloomy Jesus glared down upon us through brown eyes, a leather-bound book held in his hand. He didn’t look pleased to see us. Can’t say I blame him.

An angel, a demon, and a vampire walk into a church…

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

The yellowish-oranges of the center image, circled out to a ring of angels and saints, most of whom I recognized. It was kind of spooky considering our goal there, the likenesses of Gabriel and Michael hovering above us as though waiting to pounce. It sent a chill down my spine.

No time for sightseeing, we slipped out of the chapel and crept down the hall toward the stairs, which would lead us to the tomb of Adam. Off to our right was the Stone of Unction, where Jesus’s body was said to have been bathed after his death. Displayed above it were eight, white crystal urns with gilded crosses set upon their faces. The golden slab beneath them lay empty, which was probably a good thing.

Thanks to the modern miracle of the internet-and no, I’m not talking about free porn, though that certainly ranks right up there-we were able to look at blueprints of the church. It made finding Adam’s tomb so much easier.

Right across from the stone was a stairwell, which led below the chapel that contained The Rock of Calvary, where Jesus was said to be crucified. A little before my time, I’d have to take their word for it. If I remembered and survived, I’d ask Longinus about it.

We slipped down the stairs, noticing the chapel below was bathed in darkness. Not that it was a problem, all of us able to see pretty well, it was just unexpected considering the rest of the church was somewhat lighted. As we neared the bottom landing, we heard a quiet thud, as though something heavy had been set aside.

I looked to Katon and he gave a grim nod, his sword already in hand. He gestured for me to swing to the right while Scarlett was to go left. That left the center for him, which was okay with me.

My gun out, I waited until Katon gave the signal, then shot out low. As I entered the room, my spidey senses gently tickled my neck. Near the far end of the chapel I spotted an elaborate marble sarcophagus raised on a short dais, its stone lid open and leaned against its side. Hunched over it was big, dark, and furry, his paw digging around inside the crypt as though it were a cookie jar.

“ Hey, Boo Boo. What do ya think is in that pic-a-nic casket?”

Grawwl spun around and snarled. His voice rumbled like thunder in the acoustics of the chapel. He looked at Katon and Scarlett before the reddish glimmer of his eyes landed on me. He rose up to his full height and smiled pointy.

“Eek, you caught me. Whatsoever will I do?” A guttural chuckle rumbled up through his throat as he raised his muscular arms in mock surrender. “Guess you’re not as dumb as you look.”

Maybe I was. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why Grumpy Bear was there looking for the key to Heaven. Outside of the chaos factor, I had no idea what the shifters and vamps had to gain by helping overthrow Heaven. Maybe Gabriel made them an offer too. It was all I could think of.