Paul Kidd - Descent into the Depths of the Earth

“Like I said, I have a nasty side!”

A splendid day began in the Dreadwood. Sun streamed throughthe trees, lighting upon ruined village roofs and mossy giants’ bones. Woodsmokecarried the scent of bacon in the air. A few faerie courtiers walked along or fluttered above the paths, peering at the astonishing sights of an unknown world. Drifting over it all came the sound of happy feminine singing-a voicethat had not a worry in the world.

Enid the sphinx, freckle-spattered and eternally polite, came loping from the old tavern, batting at a rolled up ball of parchment with her paws. She stopped as she saw a ten-foot hole sitting in the middle of the path, and minced over to peer into the depths.

The hole was deep and looked remarkably comfortable. It had been lined with polished bookshelves that smelled pleasantly of beeswax. Hundreds of books and scrolls were neatly stored in place. Enid’s entire librarylay in the middle of the shelves, surrounded by scores upon scores of new books.

Still singing happily, Escalla came flying out of the tavern. She wore new clothing-black elven chain mail so fine that it felt like sheerblack silk, gloves and leggings, skirt and halter, all as stylish as a faerie could wish. Followed by a floating disk that bore two dozen fresh new books, Escalla whirred over to Enid and waved.

“Hey, Enid! It’s for you. Like it?”

“Like it?” Enid peered down into the hole with wide eyes.“Are those books all for me?”

“Books, maps, scrolls, riddles, lost languages… I evenswiped some from a lich, so be careful with those! Bought the rest in town. Keoland paid a reward for returning their lost population.” Escalla tugged atone corner of the hole and lifted it up. “And it all folds up like ahandkerchief! We can carry it with us wherever we go.” Escalla tucked the foldedportable hole into Enid’s pretty collar. “Here. From us to you-a gift for ourfriend.”

Escalla hugged the huge sphinx, who nuzzled happily and purred. Heaving a sigh and enjoying the sunshine, Escalla looked over the crumbling old village. With her lich staff at her belt and her recharged ice wand in one hand, Escalla lifted into the air on silver wings.

“Polk! Come on, man. We’re going! And don’t forget the map!”

A snort came in reply, and an annoyed voice echoed from inside the shadows of the inn. “I can’t bring the damned map! You know dangedwell I can’t! Someone else will have to!”

“Just carry the damned thing and stop grousing!” Escallawaved her arms in irritation. “Look man, you’re a hero back from the dead!Faerie magic-lifetime warrantee! Can’t you just be a little bit pleased?”

A big hairy badger waddled out of the door and glared up at Escalla. “You did this on purpose!”

“I did not!” Escalla bridled, the picture of absoluteinnocence. “Would I do that to you? Hey, man! It was faerie magic! How was Isupposed to remember that they can only do reincarnation spells?”

“It ain’t funny!” As a badger, Polk made an impressivesight-fat, hairy, and with a regal waddle to his walk. “I can’t even pour my ownbeer!”

“We’ll put it in a bowl for you! At least they made it so youcan talk. What’s your problem?” Ever helpful, Escalla brought the case to Enidfor judgment. “Enid, does this suit him or what?”

The sphinx wrinkled up her pretty nose as she bowed down to inspect the sulking badger. “Well, I must say I like the stripes!”

“See! She likes the stripes!” Escalla waved a hand at Enid.“Think of the advantages. No more clothing expenses, hours of happy excavation,and you get to sleep in all winter!”

Polk glared at Escalla and licked his chops. “I said it ain’tfunny.”

“All right, here’s a plan.” Escalla sat cross legged onEnid’s furry back. “We’ll go find someone human who has a proper raise deadspell. Then we’ll just kill you again, and get them to raise you back!”

Polk bristled in annoyance. “I’d still come back as a badger!I come back as what I was when I died!”

“Well, then we could reincarnate you again!” Escalla seemedutterly enthused by the idea. “I mean, a badger is only one random choice out ofmany! Maybe you’ll come out as something even hoopier? How about a giantwoodlouse? Or you could be a beaver and do woodwork in your spare time.”

“No, thank you.” Polk sniffed in enormous self-importance.“Badgers got dignity, and from here on, if you don’t do what I tell you, I’llgive you all fleas.”

Escalla froze. “Do badgers have musk glands?”

“You’ll find out.” Polk waddled over to Enid’s back andclambered aboard. “So we’re leaving? Where’s lunch? Where’d the Justicar go? Iwant to fill him in on all my newfound woods-wisdom. Bein’ a badger gives a mana whole new range of skills!”

Walking quietly through the forest, Lord Faen, LordNightshade, and the Justicar reached a meadow filled with buttercups. The brilliant yellow flowers glittered in the morning sun, the winter cold giving way to a warm and mellow spring. The Justicar found a mossy log and spread Cinders out beneath a sunbeam. He popped a piece of coal into the hell hound’smouth, and the dog sucked happily and thumped his tail against the bark.

’nk you!

“You’re welcome.”

The big man scratched fingers across his freshly shaven head, his dragon scales armor gleaming in the sun. The newly repaired magic sword at his belt gave a sniff and wriggled in her sheath.

At least justice has been done. The sword’s voice brimmedwith self esteem. A Justicar! A dealer of justice! Ours is a most satisfying profession.

“Quite.” The Justicar poured good dark ale from his ownflask, passing little thimble cups to Lord Faen and Escalla’s father. The twofaeries sat cross legged on the mossy log, frowning as they tested the alien drink and finding the earthy taste a bit puzzling. Lord Nightshade drained his cup then held it out for more, while Lord Faen quietly put his own drink aside.

Patting Cinders between the ears, the Justicar watched the two faerie lords as he refilled the small thimble-cup.

“Did you find him?”

Who? Benelux jittered in her sheath. Who? Who?

Lord Nightshade spared the sword a long suffering glance and turned to the Justicar. “He was found sheltering on a Clan Sable estate in themiddle of Elysium. I believe a full confession will not be necessary.”

Who was found in Elysium? Benelux rattled her sheath in anger. I say! If we are going to be a partnership, you must allow me into your confidence! How else can you ben’fit from my wealth of good advice?

“The murderer.” Jus sighed and poured himself an ale. “He wasfound in Elysium.”

Benelux jittered. But… but the murderer was thatwretched girl, the one who tried to unleash that demon! The one who looks like your partner-only with bigger breasts!

“You can’t murder something that’s already dead.” Lord Faendecided to risk the beer and took a sip. “The body had been dead for hoursbefore the cone shell was used. Remember the pooled blood? The unbleeding wound? No. Tielle wasted her efforts there. Tarquil had been gone for hours.”

The Justicar spared a droll glance down at his sword. “Youfound nothing odd in the fact that Tarquil slept peacefully right through a striptease?”

I know nothing about such things. The sword gave a primlittle sniff I suppose it might be possible.

“Escalla dancing half-naked is a pretty good recipe forwaking someone up.” The Justicar drank from his flask. “No. The body had alreadybeen poisoned. Escalla was framed. Tielle’s assassination attempt was simplecoincidence. She wanted to stop Clan Nightshade from returning to the Seelie Court before she could finish her plans to release the Queen of Wind and Woe.”