Mark Chadbourn - Jack of Ravens

And then his eyes fell on Ruth, who was standing away from the group in the shade of an elm tree. She was studying Church fiercely, uncertain emotions playing across her face.

‘Give us a moment,’ Church said quietly to Shavi and Laura. He took Ruth’s hand and led her away into the trees. She went compliantly, but he could feel her desperately trying to make sense of what she was feeling.

‘You don’t know me,’ Church began.

‘No. But I also feel as if I know you better than anyone else in my life. I feel-’ She caught herself.

‘That’s good. Because I was afraid when it got to this moment, I’d be just another stranger.’ He could feel her curious eyes on him. ‘You won’t believe how long I’ve been thinking about this meeting,’ he said.

‘Was it worth the wait?’

‘Yes. It was worth everything I’ve been through to get here. And more.’ He was shocked to realise how true that statement was. The weight of his feelings as he stood there, trapped in her gravity, crushed all the terrible things he had experienced on the long road from the Iron Age. ‘Do you want to know,’ he began, barely daring to hope, ‘about you and me, about what we’ve shared, and what we lost …?’ He wanted to add, And what we’ve found again , but it was still too soon to presume.

‘I do. More than anything.’

The hairs on his neck stood erect. And so he began, with his clearest, earliest memory — of their meeting at Albert Bridge one misty morning, and how their eyes met, propelling them into a shared journey of adventure and fear, struggle and victory. As the memories surfaced of what he had witnessed in the depths of the cauldron, he spoke clearly and profoundly of his feelings, of how they had matured and deepened and transformed him from base metal into gold. He told her of the ache in his heart that felt like bereavement as he stood on the slopes above Carn Euny, and of his times before the Wish-Post, of Rome and Krakow and Roanoke and London, when the gulf of years separated them while in his heart and his head she was as close as this, close enough to touch.

When he had finished he waited for her response, but there was only silence. Dreading what he might see, he turned to her only to find tears in her eyes.

She grasped his hand so tightly it was as if she would never let it go. ‘I knew it all. In my heart, I knew. That feeling like someone I loved had died, only not knowing who, not being able to mourn. Feeling that my life was winding down to nothing.’

As he looked into her eyes, he saw the despair that had consumed her for so long shrivel to nothing, and behind it rose a bright consuming light. In her smile there was everything he had ever wanted.

Church took her in his arms and she came to him easily. The weakness they had both felt fell away and a new strength was forged.

‘There was a song I kept playing, one they tried to take away from me,’ she whispered in his ear, ‘and I wondered why it meant so much to me. It was called “Save Me”, and that’s what you’ve done. You’ve brought me back from the land of the dead.’

They kissed, not like strangers, and suddenly everything became possible.

Once they were beyond the brooding confines of the Forest of the Night, they made camp amongst the ivy-covered ruins of a crumbling watchtower. Church was still shaky and finding it difficult to differentiate between the reality of his experiences in the casket and the wider reality he was now in. From what the others had told him, he had clearly observed the scene in Ruth’s flat, but how much of the rest could he count on? His description of the Caretaker gelled with what Ruth told him of her own experiences, but if he had shifted the Axis of Existence, what effect would it have? Had he achieved what he had hoped?

Despite his disorientation, he could barely believe he was back. Jubilation came slowly, in small increments that left him smiling for no reason that the others could tell. It had been a long journey from the Iron Age back to his own time, and it had changed him in ways he was still trying to comprehend. He had looked into the darkest part of himself and still found a light that would lead him on. He had found deep, innate reserves that existed beyond the Pendragon Spirit, and now he felt able to cope with what lay ahead. Hal had been right. The journey itself had been all the training he needed.

But it had not just been about what was inside him. He had received an education on humanity, that throughout history people were essentially the same, struggling against hardship, finding depths that helped them transcend their origins. Good people were everywhere, doing the best they could — Will Swyfte, Gabe and Marcy, in Carn Euny, Eboracum and London. Against the constantly clustering darkness of the universe, he found that fact eminently reassuring.

As the day drew on, they talked through everything they had faced and saw how their differing perspectives came together to create a fuller picture of events. Their conversations were tentative at first, but gradually they got to know each other, and Church felt they had begun to tap into the real depth of their friendship that had been denied them by the Void.

‘So let me get this straight,’ Laura said as she threw wood onto the campfire Shavi had built when twilight started to draw on. ‘It’s the four of us against God. Or the god that created our world, at least.’

‘That’s about the size of it,’ Church said.

‘And it controls an army of ten billion supernatural spiders.’

‘Unless the number is meant metaphorically. Could be more,’ Church said.

‘And this god controls an unspecified number of lesser gods, any one of which could probably bring the world to its knees.’

‘Yep.’

‘I think you’re going to need a bigger sword.’

‘It sounds like a suicide mission to me,’ Ruth noted.

‘Ah, don’t let that get in the way of your thinking,’ Laura said. ‘Life’s a suicide mission. It’s not a case of if, it’s when.’

They all thought about this and then laughed. Though he wouldn’t have said it to their faces, Church was proud of them; everything he had heard suggested they would be fine additions to the long heritage of the Brothers and Sisters of Dragons. Ruth was right — it was a suicide mission. Yet that didn’t bother them in the way it would have troubled other people, a fact that was both absurd and uplifting.

‘So how do we conduct a fight like that?’ Shavi mused thoughtfully.

‘I’ve been thinking about that. Laura was right in a way — we do need a bigger weapon,’ Church said.

‘If you only knew how many times in my life I’ve had to say that,’ Laura said.

‘What kind of weapon?’ Ruth edged closer to him.

‘The Extinction Shears,’ he said. ‘I saw what they could do. I think if we had them we could inflict some serious damage on the Void. Maybe even destroy it for good.’

‘You want to kill god,’ Laura said. ‘Nobody’s going to accuse you of aiming low.’

‘Then we need to find that market you mentioned-’ Shavi began.

‘The Market of Wishful Spirit,’ Church said. ‘It travels around, from place to place. You never know where it’s going to be until you stumble across it. The trader implied that the Shears were going to be off the market for a while, but we’re not going to let a little thing like that stop us, are we?’

‘Any idea where to start looking?’ Ruth said.

‘Not yet. But there’s something else we need to do first. Tomorrow.’

‘I don’t know about you,’ Laura said, ‘but I need to get some shut-eye. Finding out you’re a plant is pretty exhausting.’ She made light of her comment, but Church could see in her eyes how much it troubled her.