John Marco - The Forever Knight

“Because I said so. Ride on, squire.”

With a shrug Cricket drove her pony forward, leaving me with Marilius. Marilius watched her go without saying a word. When she was far enough ahead, he let out a heavy breath.

“All right, she’s gone,” he said. “What’s on your mind?”

He’d been waiting for it.

“Anton Fallon,” I kept my one eye straight ahead as we rode. “I’m guessing you’re more than just his hireling. Now listen: it makes no difference to me what a man does for his pleasures. I just want to know what I’m getting into with you both. Tell me I’m wrong, and I’ll say no more about it.”

“You’re not wrong,” said Marilius. “It’s obvious.”

“Uh-huh. Is that why he made you a captain?”

Marilius nodded. He looked ashamed and very, very young. “I shouldn’t have let him. But it was a place for me to stay. Anton knew what I was and didn’t care. You show me one other man who would have kept me on as a soldier after knowing what I am.”

“I can’t,” I admitted. “I spent my whole life soldiering. Men like you don’t usually last too long. How long have you been with him?”

“Two months. I came down from Norvor to hire on as a freelance. I heard Anton Fallon had all the money so I went to him first. He liked me, and I liked him. The rest just happened.”

“So I was right about you trying to prove yourself. And I bet that’s why you took up soldiering in the first place.”

“How’d you know that?”

“I see it all the time. Men are always running away from things and thinking that becoming a soldier can fix it. Fix them .” As soon as I said it I thought about my own life. “Seen it all before.”

Marilius and I slowed our horses. I turned my head to look at him-really look at him. I knew his story. Somewhere there was a father that disapproved, or a brother, maybe. Somewhere, someone important to him had made up their minds and decided he wasn’t good enough.

“I ran, Lukien,” he said suddenly. His face turned ashen. “I was scared. I’m scared right now. I don’t want to see that thing again. If not for you I wouldn’t even be here.”

“Everyone gets scared, Marilius. Being scared isn’t the problem. Running away and staying away-that’s the problem.”

“But you don’t get scared. I saw the way you went after Wrestler. And when Anton told you about the monster you didn’t even think twice. That’s the way I want to be. But I’ll never be that way because I’m a-”

He stopped himself.

“What?” I pressed. “What are you, Marilius? A boy-lover?” I laughed. “Stupid. It’s so stupid! Listen, you know the worst kinds of men to have in battle? Men that don’t give a damn. You have to love men to be a soldier. You’re not a coward, Marilius. If you were a coward you wouldn’t be here. If you were a coward you never would have come back.”

Marilius let a tiny smile supplant his frown. “Did you ever love a man, Lukien?”

“Yes,” I admitted. “Not in the way you mean, maybe, but yes. There once was a man I loved almost more than my own life.”

“Who?” wondered Marilius. “King Akeela?”

I turned in surprise. “How’d you know about Akeela?”

“I told you-I know a lot about you, Lukien.”

“Yeah, well. .” I rode on, uncomfortable. “I don’t talk much about Akeela these days. I’m the one that killed him, after all.”

“His madness killed him,” said Marilius. “That’s what I heard.”

“I drove him to that madness. Make no mistake about that, Marilius. Whatever else you hear about me, know this: I am a king-slayer. I’ll bear that guilt all the way to whatever hell awaits me. You’re a better lover of men than I am.”

“Ah, now you mock me.”

“No, I do not,” I said seriously. “Whatever you are, you’re no coward. Don’t let a father label you a failure. Don’t let any man. You’ve got courage inside you. I see it. I promise-when the time comes, you’ll know what to do.”

The Bitter Kingdoms were nothing like my old home in Liiria. They were rocky and harsh and wholly ugly, and I had never thought to feel at ease there until the end of that day’s ride, when we finally reached the river valley. There, with dusk just touching us, we saw the hills with the pine trees Marilius had promised, the land sloping gently downward toward a hidden dell. I could smell the river too, the musk of it like the River Kryss where I’d fought so long ago. It felt like I had stumbled again into one of Malator’s made-up dreamscapes, with birds chirping in the trees and long shadows touching the land. I took a breath, shocked by the sweetness of the air. How could this be the place?

“Here?” I looked around, slowing Zephyr, my exhausted horse. “You’re sure your monster isn’t a bear, maybe?”

Marilius seemed more nervous than usual. Instead of just slowing his horse, he brought it completely to a stop. “Let’s wait here,” he said. “It’ll be dark by the time we get deep enough into the valley.”

“Wait?” said Cricket. “For what?”

“For it to find us,” said Marilius. “It comes out at night, remember? It probably already knows we’re here.”

I looked ahead, studying the dell and surrounding hills. “We’ll find its lair,” I told Marilius. “Better to kill it while it sleeps than have it find us first.”

“The valley’s full of caves, Lukien. We’ll be groping around like blind men. Better to wait till morning, when it’s light.”

“There’s enough sunlight to get started,” I said. I looked at Marilius, not wanting to embarrass him. Yes, he was afraid, but there was something else, too. “We should go on. . don’t you think?”

“Let’s go,” said Cricket anxiously. “Before it wakes up!”

“Look at those cliffs,” said Marilius, pointing ahead. “If we enter the dell it’ll be able to trap us. It may already know we’re here. We should stay where there’s room to fight.”

It was worth considering. The hills did indeed close in around the dell, but I wanted to see it for myself. “Fallon said it only comes at night, right?”

Reluctantly, Marilius nodded.

“Then maybe it only can come out at night. Maybe it sleeps during the day, like a rass.”

“The day’s almost over, Lukien. If the monster hasn’t wakened yet then it soon will. I say we stay and wait for it here, out in the open.”

“Oh, let’s decide!” said Cricket. “Before it finds us!”

“Easy, squire. The last time I went off without thinking I got my neck broken, remember?” I looked west toward the setting sun, then ahead toward the dell. Bare minutes of sunlight remained. We could strike a camp, I thought. . But no.

“We go on,” I decided. “If this thing does have a lair we should find it.”

Cricket bounced in her saddle. “I’m ready.”

Marilius frowned. “Me first, then,” he said. At his side hung the beat-up sword he’d spent the night sharpening. He drew the blade as he urged his horse slowly forward, his eyes lighting up like embers. I didn’t need to tell Cricket to stay close. She stuck beside me as I followed Marilius, my ears alert to every breeze and chirping bird. I sensed Malator inside my sword, felt his essence searching out in front of me.

Malator? Anything?

Yes.

His certainty startled me. Where? Do you see it?

This place. . He paused as if looking around. This is where it comes from.

Is it awake?

It’s. . alive.

Where is it, Malator? Does it see us?

Malator fell silent. I could almost feel him putting up a hand to quiet me. I thought of slowing down, maybe stopping until he answered, but Marilius was already far ahead. Cricket rode next to me, stiff with fear.