Кирилл Еськов - The Last Ringbearer

Gandalf waved his hand dismissively. “I believe that problems ought to be resolved as they come up. Besides, why should we assume that they will not want to return the Mirror? What the hell do they need it for?”

Silence fell; indeed, Saruman has failed to anticipate such monumental stupidity. All of them, then, consider it proper… It seemed to him that he was floundering in the icy water of a March ice-hole: another moment, and the current will drag him under the edge.

“Radagast! Would you like to say anything?” It sounded like a plea for help.

The brown-clad figure gave a start, like a pupil caught sneaking a look at a cheat sheet, and awkwardly tried to cover something on the table. There was an indignant screech, and a baby squirrel that Radagast must have been playing with all along raced up his sleeve. It sat on his shoulder, but the embarrassed forest wizard whispered something to it, bending a bushy eyebrow, and the animal obediently slunk somewhere inside his cloak.

“Dearest Saruman… please forgive an old man, but… erm… I wasn’t listening all that closely here… Just don’t fight, all right? I mean, if even we start to bicker, what’s gonna happen to the world, eh? See… And as for those folks from the Enchanted Forests, I mean, aren’t you… you know… a bit hard on them? I remember seeing them when I was young, from afar, for sure, but they seemed all right by my reckoning; they have their own weirdness, but who doesn’t? Also they’re always at one with the birds and the beasties, not like your Mordorians… So I reckon, it might be fine, eh?”

So that’s it, concluded Saruman and slowly ran his palm across his face, as if trying to remove a spider’s web of enormous weariness. The only one who may have supported him. He had no strength left to fight; it’s over, he’s under the ice.

“You are not just in the minority; you are alone, Saruman. Of course, all your suggestions are of enormous value to us.” Gandalf’s voice was fairly dripping with false respect now. “Let us discuss right away the question of the Mirror – it is, indeed, a complicated question…”

“This is your problem now, Gandalf,” Saruman spoke quietly but firmly, undoing the mithril clasp at his throat. “You have long sought the White Cloak – here, take it. Do whatever you think necessary, but I quit your Council.”

“Then your staff will lose power, you hear!” Gandalf yelled at his back; it was clear that he was stunned and no longer understood his perennial rival.

Saruman turned around and took one last look at the gloomy hall of the White Council. An edge of the white cloak spilled down off the armchair to the floor, like moon-silvered water in a fountain; the mithril clasp sent him a farewell flash and winked out. Radagast, who must have risen to follow him, was frozen in mid-stride with arms sticking out awkwardly; the wizard suddenly looked small and miserable, like a child in the middle of a parents’ quarrel. It was then that he uttered a phrase that amazingly matched the one spoken on a similar occasion in another World:

“What you are about to do is worse than a crime. It is a mistake.”

In a few weeks Mordor’s intelligence reported from the edges of the Northern woods the sudden appearance of ‘Elves’ – slender golden-haired creatures with mellifluous voices and permafrost in their eyes.

Middle Earth, the War of the Ring

Historical brief

Should our reader be minimally acquainted with analysis of major military campaigns and examine the map of Middle Earth, he would easily ascertain that all actions of both new coalitions (Mordor-Isengard and Gondor-Rohan) were dictated by merciless strategic logic, undergirded by Mordor’s dread of being cut off from its food sources. Through Gandalf’s efforts the center of Middle Earth turned into a highly unstable geopolitical “sandwich” with Mordor and Isengard the bread and Gondor and Rohan the bacon. Most ironic was the fact that the Mordor coalition, which wanted nothing but the preservation of the status quo , was in an ideal position for an offensive war (whereby it could immediately force its opponents to fight on two fronts), but in a highly unfavorable one for a defensive war (when the united opponents could conduct a blitzkrieg, crushing foes one by one). Saruman, however, lost no time, either. He visited Theoden and Denethor (the kings of Rohan and Gondor) and used his personal charm and eloquence to convince them that Isengard and Barad-Dur wanted nothing but peace. In addition, he partially revealed to Denethor and Sauron the secret of the two palantíri that have been kept in both capitals since time immemorial, and taught them to use those ancient magic crystals as a means of direct communication; this simple move did much to build trust between the neighboring sovereigns. An Isengard consulate was established in Edoras at King Theoden’s court; it was headed by Grima, an excellent diplomat, experienced intelligence officer, and master of courtly intrigue. For quite some time Saruman and Gandalf carefully jockeyed for position, strictly in the area of dynastic relationships.

To wit, Theoden’s only son Theodred, known for his sober mind and temperateness, was killed in the North under suspicious circumstances, allegedly in an Orc raid. As a result, the new heir was the king’s nephew Éomer – a brilliant general, the darling of the officer corps, and, obviously, one of the ‘war party’ leaders. In a setback to Gandalf, however, he began ‘measuring the drapes of the palace’ way too openly with his friends. Grima, who had an excellent intelligence network, had no trouble putting together a good collection of all the drunken boasts and submitting it to Theoden through a proxy. Consequently, Éomer was excluded from active politics to such an extent that Grima stopped paying any attention to him (which turned out later to have been a big mistake). In Gondor, Saruman succeeded in undermining the position of Prince Boromir, another well-known brawler, and getting him removed from court; the prince left in a huff, seeking adventure in northern lands (with rather unpleasant consequences, but again later). In general, the first round went to Saruman.

Nevertheless, although all three kings clearly understood that “a bad peace is better than a good war,” conditions remained highly unstable. The food situation in Mordor continued to deteriorate, so the security of the trade routes to the South through Ithilien became what is known as a “national paranoia.” In such circumstances the smallest provocation can cascade, and there was no lack of those. So after several caravans in a row were wiped out near Ithilien Crossing by people who came from nowhere but wore green cloaks of Gondor (although they spoke with a pronounced Northern accent), there was a full-fledged reaction.

Saruman immediately contacted Sauron via his palantír ; he cajoled, pleaded, and threatened, but to no avail. Logical arguments did not work any more, and the king, whose power had always been rather nominal, could do nothing about the fear-crazed merchants sitting in the parliament. So it was that on the morrow of April 14th, 3016 of the Third Era the army of Mordor, two hundred light cavalry strong, entered the demilitarized (under a recent treaty with Gondor) Ithilien “to provide security against robbers to the trade routes.” In response, Gondor mobilized its army and took control of Osgiliath. The trap was sprung.

Mordor then made another mistake, although, as it always is with strategic decisions, they can only be judged post factum : had the move worked, as it had every chance of doing, it would no doubt have been recorded as brilliant. An attempt was made to split the enemy coalition by getting Rohan out of the spat over Ithilien, which was of no real concern to them. To that end, four best battalions of Mordor’s army were sent over Anduin. This expeditionary force was supposed to covertly travel over the northern edge of the Plains of Rohan, where intelligence reported no regular armed presence, and join the army of Isengard. The risk was great, but smaller detachments have already traversed that route without incident. Indeed, had a strike force capable of reaching Edoras in five days’ march been established in the Rohirrim’s backyard, without a doubt the latter would have concentrated on guarding the entrance to Helm’s Deep and abandoned any thought of a raid to the South. Mordor could then seek a compromise over Ithilien with the suddenly lonely Gondor.