Irina Syromyatnikova - My Path to Magic

“I do not mind.”

“And if we aren’t, you will have to hire a private combat mage. It’s not cheap, but you cannot leave town without the protection of a dark magician; this is not the case when you can count on luck.”

The next day I intended to rest and slept until 11 a.m. without any remorse. I deserved it! My vacation turned out to be a real business trip; I worked seven days a week, knocking myself out. Good that at least my hostess was compassionate: if yesterday night, after three hours of combing my zombie’s hair, I couldn’t take a bath (it was after one a.m.), I would have burned all of Mihandrov today. A nervous breakdown wasn’t the exclusive privilege of the white mages!

Dropping by the school just to check, I discovered that my diversion with the trip brought unexpected results: instead of playing pathfinders and building huts, children enthusiastically argued. It looked hilarious in the performance of the white: they stood and talked very quickly all at the same time, perhaps not even catching the meaning of each other’s words. I got so curious that came up closer to listen to them.

“Thomas!” Lyuchik finally noticed me.

I got surrounded by kids with such speed that I even started.

“Tell me, tell me,” Lyuchik was tugging at my sleeve, “why the snake takes off its skin?”

“Because it has always done that,” I shrugged. “Why not?”

“But I do not shed my skin!”

Dear god, was that the reason for their hysterical quarrel? No, I will never get the job of an empath; I cannot grasp such things.

“Bro, in fact, you are shedding constantly, and the snake only once a year. It’s questionable who is better off—you or the snake.”

“Really?” Lyuchik frowned in puzzlement.

“Of course! The snake doesn’t have to wash, and they don’t stink.” If I remembered correctly, the snakes did not have sweat glands.

“But the snake will get cold,” sobbed a girl in bows. “They need clothes.”

I pictured a snake in the coat and gave a raucous neigh. Perhaps it was wildly anti-pedagogical, but I couldn’t stop.

“How about buttons?” I squeezed the question through tears. “How will they zip up buttons?”

The children became puzzled. What bedlam! Of course, I knew the white had a peculiar vision of the world, but not to that extent… I should be lenient and make allowance for age, after all. I tried to formulate my thoughts in a simpler way: “Clothes were invented by people because humans were bald, but the snake and mice do not need coats. In the areas where they live, their skin is exactly what they need. They’re animals! Don’t your teachers tell you anything about animals?”

“The snake is a reptile,” a bespectacled kid with a toy bear corrected politely.

“Good for you! Then you know that the snake is cold-blooded. Why would it need a coat if it is heated from outside?” I ruffled Lyuchik’s hair. “Do not worry! The snake has lived on earth for millions of years, so all that is necessary for their survival they have already acquired.”

“Our teacher told us that some species of snake have become extinct,” the four-eyed kid said.

That was where the problem originated! Quite a bizarre run of associations.

“Animals become extinct because people plough virgin lands and build houses. Animals need wilderness; if we do not interfere with them, they will be all right. Got it?”

Everybody calmed down. Good. I was lucky that the kids didn’t ask the sacred question about a fried piglet; I cannot talk on this topic, but I know a bunch of jokes. Like, once a vegetarian married a butcher’s daughter… ‘ Maybe the kids’ moronity was the result of the rollback ,’ suddenly came to my mind. On the other hand, teachers also ought to think before they say something. Anything. I fished out my brother from the crowd of pacified whites and took him for a walk to the park, vaguely sensing the lack of something of great importance.

“Where is Petros?”

My brother sighed. “Mr. Fox does not let him out for a walk.”

“How is it possible that he doesn’t let him out?” I was taken aback.

“Mr. Fox said that Petros got sick, but Petros wrote me a note that he wasn’t sick, only his feet hurt a little.”

My God, they were exchanging notes already, teen-conspirators?! Should I have a serious talk with the assistant principal? If I wanted to get that crazy kid under my wing, then yes, I had to immediately rush into a quarrel. But a sudden idea came to my mind: if Petros disappeared from the horizon, it would be much easier to take Lyuchik away from Mihandrov. So I decided to act in a civilized manner.

“Let’s go talk to the headmistress of the school.”

Mrs. Hemul was glad to see me, but she looked tired and agitated. You know, the emotional and physical conditions of a magician are strongly related. As if by magic, a cup of jasmine tea and a basket of fancy cookies appeared on the table (Lyuchik began to dig into them, searching for the sun-shaped ones). She understood the meaning of my question at once, saying, “This is an unfortunate incident, a totally unacceptable situation. Mr. Fox unpleasantly surprised me. To put it bluntly, he reacted very painfully to your visit; however, I was sure that he was coping with his emotions. But it happened so suddenly—and absolutely without a motif! The problem is that Mr. Fox is the legal guardian of Petros; it’s in his power to simply take the boy out of the school and leave. I need time to find Mrs. Kormalis and resolve this issue. Unfortunately, she is not in Mihandrov.”

“Suddenly left the town, am I correct?” an unpleasant ache developed in my stomach.

“Just before the holidays,” Mrs. Hemul nodded. “I’m sure she is about to come back.”

Maybe she will return. I thought that Clarence’s attention to the missing people and the commission’s work calmed down the maniac, but what if they didn’t? Though such complex coincidences just could not happen.

“I am glad that you are not letting the matter slide.”

She became a little confused. “Regarding this, I have a favor to ask from both of you…”

I already knew what she was driving at.

“Mr. Tangor, could I ask you to refrain from visits to the school for some time?”

“What do you think, brother?”

A heavy fight between a few mutually exclusive desires reflected on Lyuchik’s face. “If that is necessary for Petros… But for how long?”

“For a couple of days,” Mrs. Hemul soothed him.

“Please keep in mind that I can stay here only until the end of the holidays,” I warned her.

“Do not worry; the misunderstanding will be resolved very quickly.”

“Good. I’ll call tomorrow then.”

Lyuchik and I finished the tea and said goodbye to Mrs. Hemul.

Lyuchik followed me to the gate; we sat in the park for a bit. I finally came to the conclusion that I would not leave my brother alone with the curse and the nutty teachers at Mihandrov. I didn’t have custody rights, but I was paying for his tuition, and Joe would follow my advice.

“I’m being serious with you; think hard about changing schools. Redstone is a big city with plenty of entertainment and a zoo.”

“What if everywhere is like here?” Lyuchik asked sadly.

“No, there is obviously something wrong with this place.”

“And what do you think is wrong with our school?” Fox turned out to be near.

The assistant principal looked cheerful—no doubts tortured him. He seemed to be in a hurry to push me out of the gate. He hung over Lyuchik in such a manner that I could hardly restrain myself from hitting him with a curse. Watch out, Mr. Fox!

I shrugged indifferently. “For example—you. A normal teacher would not lie right in the students’ faces.”