Lora Leigh: Primal

Jackson smiled. He was actually quite attractive in a biker-dude kind of way, and the expression helped soften up the rougher edges. “I’m usually a hard-ass when it comes to shit like this, but I’m really sorry for what you’ve been through.”

That surprised me. “You don’t strike me as the type who’s sorry for much.”

“I’m not.”

I blew out a long breath and pressed back against the wall. The air was dry, hot, and smelled like dust and exhaust fumes. The meeting with Dr. Reynolds had tired me out. Hope was an exhausting emotion to entertain. “You’ve known Declan for ten years, have you?”

“Around that.” He shook his head. “Seems strange seeing him with a woman like you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “A woman like me?”

He shrugged a shoulder. “I can tell a lot just from meeting a person once. You’re somebody who needs a man in her life who’s able to show her a good time.”

“Am I?”

“And I saw how you looked at him before.”

“How’s that?”

“Like he’s on the menu.”

I couldn’t help but snort at that. This guy thought he knew it all. I wasn’t a big fan of cocky. “Is that right?”

“Declan, he’s . . . a good hunter. Loyal to a fault. I know you met the man who raised him.”

“I did.”

“Then you know Declan will stay with someone even when it’s obvious to everyone else it’s a bad idea.”

I bristled at that. “That’s how you think it is with him and me?”

“There’s nothing there, Jill. Just a shell. He’s a machine. A soldier. He kills rogue vampires. It’s what he’s done, 24/7, for as long as I’ve known him. He isn’t somebody who’s going to make a good boyfriend.”

This conversation was beginning to make me uncomfortable, but if it was a means to get more information about Declan, I could tolerate Jackson for a while longer. “I’m not looking for a boyfriend right now. I’m a bit preoccupied with trying to stay alive with blood nearly the color of tar.”

“Maybe so.” Jackson drew close enough to me that I could smell his spicy aftershave. His gaze swept the length of me. “But you’re a woman of passion. You have needs he’s not able to fill.” He reached forward and twisted a piece of my long black hair around his index finger before leaning closer to me. “I can fill them, Jill. If you want me to.”

“Oh yeah?” It was warm outside—easily over ninety degrees—and Jackson’s body heat only made it warmer. A trickle of perspiration slid down my spine. He was hitting on me. That didn’t seem like something someone should do to a buddy’s female companion, even in an unusual relationship like mine and Declan’s.

“I can take you to places you’ve never been before. I’m not asking for a relationship here, just a bit of fun. A way to let off some steam.”

A bit of fun—something I hadn’t had in a very long time. Too bad it was Jackson doing the offering. “What about Declan?”

He shook his head. “Declan’s like a eunuch. He can’t satisfy you like I can, even if he wanted to. It won’t be long before you start looking elsewhere. Despite all you’ve been through, I see that fire inside of you. And I know how to quench it.”

“You want to fuck me.” I stated it bluntly to make sure I understood him correctly—not that he was being subtle about it.

“Very much. And what do you want?” He leaned closer so I could feel the line of his body, which included a very stiff erection that he wasn’t shy about pressing against me.

“What do I want?” I put my hand on his chest and slid it down between us, over his rather impressive denim-clad hard-on. Then I grabbed it and twisted. “I want you to fuck off.”

Pain registered on his face, but he let out a low, throaty laugh. “I guess I have my answer.”

I let go of him, feeling that my point had been made rather succinctly. “No offense intended, of course.”

“Of course not.” His eyes flicked behind me as he cupped his hand over his assaulted groin and stepped away from me. “Declan. You’re back.”

I glanced to my left. Declan’s emotionless gaze was narrow, and I wondered if he’d seen what just happened.

“Let’s go,” was all he said.

Very soon I’d start the painful process of cleaning my blood. Soon I’d be back to my normal life—the life that didn’t include amorous—or rather, lecherous—vampire hunters who left me cold, or dhampyrs who made my blood hot and my body yearn for more than they were able to give me.

I’d never been a big fan of disappointment.

I had a shower back at the motel room to cool off. Declan went out to get us food. When I emerged with wet hair, after pulling on some clean leggings and a tank top, he was already back.

He held up the brown paper bag. “Burgers. And fries.”

“Running for my life is fattening.” I didn’t really mean it. Since I’d been poisoned, I’d lost weight. I could actually count my ribs now, which was a bit disturbing, since I wasn’t eating any less than I normally did. I figured the Nightshade revved up my metabolism. It was another side effect to add to the list.

I leaned my hip against the table and ran my fingers through my damp hair to get the tangles out. Declan sat at the small table and looked down at his hands. He seemed preoccupied about something.

“What’s the problem?” I asked.

He looked at me. “Why do you think there’s a problem?”

“You’re quieter than normal. Not that you’re usually a chatterbox, but—”

“I heard you talking with Jackson.”

“What part?”

“All of it.” He raised his gray gaze to mine, stroking his fingers over his eye patch to adjust it back into its proper place.

“He came on to me.”

“I know.”

“And I told him to fuck off.”

His lips curved. “I know.”

I felt concerned, since he still looked troubled. “What’s really wrong, Declan?”

He shook his head. “If he’d forced himself on you any further, I would have ripped his head off. As it is, he took a simple fuck off as an answer. He’s very popular with women. Your rejection must have come as a shock considering his track record.”

“Do you think I was tempted?”

He blinked. “Were you?”

“No. Were you jealous?”

He gripped the edge of the table, his knuckles whitening. “I don’t know. With the serum, all—all I feel is this emptiness inside of me. Where there should be emotion, there’s . . . nothing, just an empty black hole. I know that’s where all the shit I should be feeling belongs. I never felt it before—never noticed it, anyway—but I do now.”

“Emptiness.”

“Yeah.”

I bit my bottom lip as my throat began to tighten. “I know how you feel. I have that, too.”

“You do?”

I nodded. “It’s hard to deal with that empty feeling, but sometimes we don’t have any choice.”

His expression darkened. “Jackson gave you a choice.”

I couldn’t resist rolling my eyes at that. “Yeah, he did. Since I can’t be with you, he was more than willing to serve as a replacement. Really big of him.”

His brows drew together. “Is that why you feel empty? Because we can’t be together?”

We were treading on dangerous territory. I wasn’t really prepared for this conversation about emotions and empty black holes with a man I couldn’t really have. It felt like trouble, and I already had enough of that to begin with. “Look, Declan, let’s just eat. It’s been a long day. Maybe tomorrow Dr. Reynolds will get back to us.”

“He will. I don’t doubt it. He’s a serious dick, but I really think he can help you. Then you won’t have to deal with all of this, deal with me, with horny assholes like Jackson sniffing around you. You can go back to your regular life and normal men who can be with you when they want to be.”