Kelley Armstrong - Sea of Shadows

“Oh.” She settled back on her heels. “I suppose—”

“That I was correct in doing so, however much the implications might embarrass you?” He grinned, leaned forward, and whispered. “It’s a good thing you were not taken to that harem. It’s not just blades you require lessons in, is it? I would happily offer instruction in that as well if…” He trailed off, still smiling. “I’ll stop before your face lights on fire. Drink some water. Just don’t choke on it.”

She was indeed blushing furiously. Furious, too, with him for teasing her, and with herself for reacting. Like a child, she thought. I’m sixteen summers. Out here, in the real empire, I would be a woman now.

I am a woman. The Seeker.

Not like that. She’d be more mature, perhaps no more experienced with men, but at least not blushing and stammering when the subject was raised.

“I apologize,” Ronan said. “I was only teasing.”

The apology only stung all the more, erasing any doubt that she’d reacted like a child.

I don’t want you to see me as a child.

“I forget sometimes that you’re a highborn girl,” he said.

“I’m not highborn. My family is—”

“It doesn’t matter. Whatever your family’s caste was, you’ve been raised above that. I ought not treat you like a normal girl.”

“But I am —”

“I don’t mean that as it sounded.” He sighed and pushed back from the table. “I’m making a mess of this. I only meant to apologize if I sometimes forget my place.”

“You don’t have a place , Ronan. Not with me.”

He waved off the denial. She tried to continue, but her insistence only seemed to make the situation worse. It certainly drove Ronan to silence, eating his meal as she struggled for something to say, something worldly and interesting.

She was gazing around at the other diners, looking for a comment to make, when Ronan said, “I know you’re bothered by what happened last night.” He paused. “Well, obviously, being kidnapped would bother you, but I mean the… girl. What she did. Helping you and then demanding payment.”

“I’d have happily given her the dagger,” she said. “Even a ring, if it wasn’t this one. But… I helped her, too. Perhaps I couldn’t kill that man, but it was my dagger she used and my distraction. Without me, she would not have escaped.”

“You felt betrayed.”

Ashyn considered that. “I think, in some ways, I would rather feel betrayed. Then I’d be upset with myself for getting tricked, but this… I’m just confused. She didn’t seem angry. She just expected the ring, no matter how important it was to me.”

“Her own family cast her out; she would not understand that your mother’s ring would hold any importance. It is”—he waved his eating sticks—“beyond her comprehension. Demanding the ring was not an insult to you. It was not even an expectation. She was simply seeing if you would give it up. If you did, that was your loss and her gain.” He ate another mouthful. “You said she was casteless. They must take everything they can get. They have no choice. The empire allows them no choice.”

“You know people who are casteless.”

He made a noise in his throat and ate a chunk of sticky rice, swallowing before answering. “On the streets, you cannot help but know some.”

“How do they make a living?”

“Begging. Thieving.”

“Belaset said she worked in a, um, brothel. Doing odd jobs. That’s employment, isn’t it? Better than beggary or thievery.”

“I don’t know.” He met her gaze, his dark eyes serious. “Would you find it more honorable to steal for a living? Or to clean shit buckets for whores?”

Her gaze dropped.

He sighed. “I’m sorry. Again. I didn’t mean to be so blunt—”

“No, it’s not that. I see your point and I feel shamed for not knowing more. There’s no one… like that in Edgewood.”

He grunted and took another bite of pork. They ate for a few moments in silence, then he said, his gaze still on his plate, “There’s something I ought to tell you.”

“All right.”

“I…” He looked up. Indecision flickered in his eyes. Then he blinked, pulled back a little, and cleared his throat. “When we get to the city, I’m going to leave. Before we enter the gates.”

“What?” Ashyn tried to hide her surprise. “Do you think that’s necessary?”

“Under the circumstances, I can no longer expect anything but suspicion from the emperor. He’ll think I may be involved with these mercenaries. You’ll be safe once you’re there, and I’ll be safer if I go my own way.”

“Where?”

“Into the city. Just not through the main gates.”

“Will I see you again?”

“I don’t know.” His gaze met hers. “Do you want to see me again, Ashyn?”

Her heart hammered, and she searched his expression. He just sat there, gaze shuttered, waiting.

“I do,” she said carefully. “After all this, I wouldn’t want you to vanish into the city forever.”

“Well, I’ll need to vanish for a day or two. To be safe. Before I go, I’ll speak to Gavril and determine the best way for you to contact me. All right?”

She nodded.

“You’ll contact me when you want to see me?” he said.

Again she nodded, and he seemed to be waiting for some other response, but she didn’t know what.

Finally she said, “Have you told Moria you’ll be leaving?”

“No.”

“I can get her alone, so you can tell her.”

He laughed softly. “I don’t think I need to inform everyone individually. I’ll tell her and Gavril on the road tomorrow.

I just wanted you to know first.”

“Thank you.”

He picked up another chunk of sticky rice. “Better finish up here. There’s a mob at the door, and they’re eyeing our table.”

They started before dawn the next morning, and Ashyn saw the imperial city as the sun rose. The wall soared twice as high as those of Edgewood, yet she could still see the tops of buildings beyond it. Buildings unlike any she’d ever seen—towers of blocks, every story smaller than the one below it, each with a sweeping, curved roof. Atop that was a rod. For lightning, Ronan explained. Being so tall, the rod attracted it, and thus kept it from the wooden buildings below.

The city itself was built into the base of a mountain, one as green as the Forest of the Dead. Beautiful, though, with the sun rising behind it.

Ashyn tried not to gape. Ronan rode close beside her, pointing out what they could see. Her sister seemed more interested in the wall, and was asking Gavril about it—how many gates, how many guards.

“Are you planning your invasion, Moria?” Ronan called.

“More like planning my escape,” she said, looking at the city and shuddering. “I can smell the place from here.”

It was true—the stink of the city was ill-contained by the walls. Ronan said it was because they were near the stables— only imperial horses were permitted on the roads within—but Ashyn was sure that wasn’t all they smelled. It was said ten thousand people lived in the imperial city. When she’d imagined it, she’d pictured a town stretching as far as the eye could see. Except she could see from one end of the wall to the other in one sweep. It was many times the size of Edgewood, but still much smaller than she’d envisioned. Which would explain the smell. And the noise. Even at dawn the cacophony rolled out to greet them.

They were approaching along a tertiary route, through one of the many villages that had sprouted along the city wall. They were all together now, Tova and Daigo having joined them.