David Dalglish - Dawn of Swords

“I’m so sorry, Roland,” he said afterward, wrapping his arms around him. “That was foolish of me. I need to remember that you have been sheltered…all of you have. You may be a man now, but inside you’re still a child, as are your mother, your father, and your siblings. None of you have seen the things I have, nor experienced your life nearing its end. I should be more understanding.”

“It’s all right,” Roland whispered into his master’s shoulder.

“No, it’s not. I was thoughtless and cruel. Now here, sit down and let me show you what I’ve written.”

“Shouldn’t we be leaving?” asked Roland. “We need to find out if Azariah and Brienna made it back all right. And someone needs to find out about that army!”

“Not now,” replied Jacob. “I’m sure Az and Brienna are fine. They’re more than capable, and the river’s current is strong, besides being a much more direct route than by foot. They’ve probably already told Turock about what we saw. Uther’s men may still be out there searching for us-in fact, I’m sure of it. I say we wait for daylight so that nothing can leap out at us from the darkness. Now sit down.”

Roland did, and for the next hour he listened to Jacob prattle on about his theories on ancient rituals, thin points in time, and bridges between worlds. The First Man tried to show him some of what he had documented, explaining his assumptions and conclusions about what they’d seen, but it was so far above Roland’s head that all he heard was gibberish. Jacob seemed agitated, however, and so Roland sat back, listened, and pretended he understood. He did not want to risk his master’s ire if he were made to repeat himself.

“But the best part,” Jacob said, “is that I think I have finally discovered the missing piece. For years I have searched for the missing words, the magical syllables and phrases that would allow for passage between one world and the next. It is obvious that Uther discovered such rites, for how else can we explain what happened tonight, that floating, fleshy portal above the ravine? It’s astounding, really.”

Roland shivered at the memory.

“It was disgusting,” he protested. “Disgusting and immoral and, well, evil .” He surprised himself then, as he had never used that word- evil -before in his life. Until tonight, it had been an abstract concept that existed only in the Wardens’ stories.

Jacob looked at him for a long moment and then shook his head and smiled.

“Yes, of course. The death of innocents is always disheartening.”

“Then why do you speak of it as if you don’t care?”

“It’s not that I don’t care,” Jacob said with a shrug. “It is only that, in the universe at large, death is a natural occurrence. You don’t see a mother deer decrying the unfairness of it all when her child is eaten by a wolf or wildcat. You do not see a school of fish protest when one of their numbers is caught in a fisher’s nets. And you certainly don’t hear one word of complaint from the hyenas when one pack comes in and overthrows another. The cycle of life is all about survival, of moving from one point in time to the next without losing your neck. You have been protected in Paradise, and you haven’t been shown the truth of existence outside your perfect little bubble. I have. I was here long before any other human stepped foot on this land, and therefore I can be a bit more…objective about the matter.”

“The way you speak,” said Roland. “It’s like you disagree with everything Ashhur has taught us.”

“You misunderstand me,” Jacob replied. “Come now, boy. I have resided in the west for nearly twenty years. I have stayed because I chose to stay, because I believe in the purity of the ideals Ashhur teaches. Just because I may be critical of your lack of knowledge does not mean I am critical of the way of life. I just wish that sometimes things were more…balanced, I suppose. No matter how hard Ashhur tries, this world will never be perfect or absolutely safe. I fear for how Paradise will handle hardships, even those that are temporary.”

Roland scratched at the week’s worth of stubble covering his chin.

“I see,” he said. “But Ashhur has said that to reach the golden eternity, we must be pure of heart. Can we be pure of heart if we’re taught these things?”

Jacob set down his plume.

“Who was your family’s Warden?” he asked.

“Um, Loen. Why?”

“Ah, Loen. He of the tall tales. Did he ever tell you the one about the witch who lured two small children to her home, wishing to fatten them up and eat them, only to be stopped by the brave knight who comes to rescue them?”

“Yes. The story of Penelope and Rutgard. Why?”

“Think about it, Roland. It is a story of a witch …who wants to eat children …until she is slain by a knight .”

The reasoning snapped together in Roland’s head.

“Oh,” he said.

“Exactly,” said Jacob. “Knowledge is never evil. What Uther did may be vile, but the knowledge of it is still fascinating to me, and might serve some greater purpose in my hands in the decades to come. The same goes for you. Although you have learned of violence, you, Roland Norsman, still have one of the purest hearts I have ever encountered.”

Roland’s face reddened.

“Thank you,” he said.

“You’re welcome. Now go away for a while,” the First Man said with a wave of his hand.

They laughed together, but after a few moments Roland realized that Jacob was serious. His master sat there, straddling his journal while the candle flickered away, staring at him. Finally, Roland said, “You really want me to go?”

Jacob nodded.

“But where?” Roland replied, aghast.

“There’s a ledge beside the cave entrance. Why don’t you head out there for a bit, sit and watch the sunrise, perhaps?”

“But…why? And what if there are men out there waiting for me?”

“There aren’t any men out there,” replied Jacob with a sigh. He pointed to the ground before him, where a pair of glass beads shimmered. “See these? I tossed a few of them out over the ledge after we scurried up the side of the mountain. Should anyone pass within the scope of their magic, these beads-the twins of the ones I threw-will shine, alerting me. You will be safe out there, believe me, and with my cloak, which was charmed by the great elf Anton Ludden of Dezerea, you will not be affected by the cold. As for what I’m doing…let’s just say that I wish to try a few experiments.”

“You’re going to try to reach across the void, aren’t you?”

“Something like that.”

Roland suddenly felt faint.

“Easy now, boy,” said Jacob, his eyes widening as he rose off the ground to try to calm him. “I do not wish to release any demons or any such nonsense. I’ve been altering some of Uther’s words, and I think I have found a way to commune-to commune , you hear? — with beings from a different plane of existence. I only wish to talk, to learn. Nothing more. Please, there is nothing to worry about.”

“Then why are you sending me off?”

Jacob let out a sigh.

“Because no matter how certain I am, I’m also not arrogant enough to think it’s impossible for me to be wrong. If there is danger, you’ll be safe out there…and you won’t be in my way if I need to handle a tricky situation. For all I know, we might get a glimpse of the beast of a thousand faces, and I’d rather spare you that. The sight might cost you your sanity.”

“And you don’t fear for yourself?”

The First Man grinned and pulled the crystal Brienna had given him from his pocket.

“I do not, my dear steward, for love is my safeguard. And besides, it won’t happen. This is a precaution, nothing more.”