Steven Brust - Hawk

“If there’s some reason to believe I didn’t go through all this for nothing.”

He looked unusually serious.

“I can’t promise that. But you’ll know within a few hours, one way or the other.”

“Yeah, but Vlad, has it occurred to you that, if they kill you, I’m probably next?”

“Uh, no. Why do you think that? If they’ve left you alive all this time-I mean, I know Terion tried not to, but-”

“It’s not Terion, Vlad. Think about it. I was your number two. I’ve been helping you. Why am I still alive?”

“Because you’re very hard to kill.”

“They could manage.”

I bit my thumb and thought about it. “You think they’re deliberately keeping you alive because they think you’ll lead them to me?”

“That’s my guess.”

“Why are you only telling me now?”

“I hadn’t thought about it until I was lying on my back unable to move. Amazing what it does for the brain.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I know.”

His eyebrows looked a question, but I didn’t answer.

“The Demon,” I said, “agreed that it would be over if this all works out.”

“Yeah,” said Kragar. “So you said. For you. Not for me.”

I made a theologically improbable suggestion. Then I said, “I never thought about that.”

“Me neither,” he said. “Until today.”

I noticed I was biting my lower lip and stopped.

“Don’t get me wrong, Vlad. I don’t mind risking my ass for you. I’ve been doing it for almost fifteen years now. But I like to have some idea of what it’s about.”

I looked for something to say, came up empty. “Okay,” I said. “I’ve been collecting-”

“Wait a minute, Vlad.”

“What?”

“I didn’t mean you actually had to unreel the whole thing for me.”

“Oh. Well, you made a pretty good argument for it.”

“I just want to know how you’re so sure the Demon isn’t going to sell you out.”

“Oh, that.”

“Yeah, that. I mean, that’s sort of the key to the whole thing, isn’t it?”

“What I know about the Demon is that he’s going to want the process, because there’s just an absurd amount of money in it. I don’t believe he’s capable of passing that up.”

He shook his head. “I just worry that you’re too trusting.”

“That I’m-what?”

“Too trusting.”

“Kragar, who have I shown misplaced trust in as long as you’ve known me?”

“Melestav,” he said.

I winced. That one still hurt. “You know, Kragar, of all the things I’ve been accused of over the years, I never expected to hear that I was too trusting.”

“Don’t see why not,” he said. “You are. And everyone in the world can see it except you.” Deragar watched us go back and forth like someone watching kittens play-with a sort of tolerant amusement that I’d have done something about if I hadn’t been busy.

“Too trusting,” I said. “Yeah, that’s my problem.” I rolled my eyes. “I admit, I trust people to be true to their nature. So far, that’s worked out pretty well for me.”

“Okay, Vlad. Let’s look at the facts.”

“Facts? You must be really desperate if you’re resorting to facts. All right, I’m listening.”

“First of all, you trusted me.”

“It seems like-”

“You trusted me a long time before you knew me enough to.”

“What did I trust you with? I mean, early on?”

“Almost everything you were doing.”

“Such as?”

“The name of your contact with Morrolan’s security forces. That you’d killed Loraan. That you’d personally killed Laris-the Empire would have loved to hear about that. That-”

“Did you really consider telling them?”

“Of course not, Vlad. That isn’t the point. The point is, you’re too trusting.”

“I was young, then.”

“And now you’re not? You’re still under five hundred. If you weren’t human that would mean you’re young.”

“Heh,” I explained. “What else you got?”

He continued giving examples of my supposed over-trusting nature, some of which may have been valid, and I continued arguing until I finally got tired of it and said, “So, Kragar, because of this, you’re convinced the Demon-or someone else in the Organization-is going to put a shine on you as soon as this is over?”

“I didn’t say I was convinced, Vlad.”

“But you think so?”

“Most likely not.”

“Wait. You don’t think so?”

“Not really.”

“Why?”

“I’ve been too good an earner. If I go down, everyone up the ladder from me loses.”

“Well then, why have you been-wait. You’ve just been doing all of this to take my mind off the six-hour wait, haven’t you, you asshole?”

“It’s not six hours anymore.” He smirked.

“C’mon, Boss. It was well played. Admit it.”

“You knew what he was doing the whole time, didn’t you?”

“Nothing good can come out of me answering that question, Boss.”

“Suddenly,” I said, “I feel like killing someone.”

“You’ll probably have the chance,” said Kragar.

“Probably.”

“Hungry again?”

“No. How much time did you manage to kill?”

“A couple of hours.”

“It’ll take me an hour to get there.”

“Going to arrive early?”

I shook my head. “Just exactly when I’m expected.”

“How trusting of you.”

“Kragar, you weren’t serious, were you? I mean about-quit laughing. Jerk.”

Still smirking, he made a gesture to Deragar with his eyebrows, and the latter went out, then returned with a bottle of Piarran Mist.

“What?” I said. “Some sort of last-drink ritual, so if I die, I’ll have had the good stuff? Seriously, Kragar?”

“Shut up and drink it, Vlad.”

“Whatever you say, boss,” I told him.

We drank, and didn’t talk about old times, or new times, or anything at all. However much I may laugh at stupid rituals like that, it was very, very good; it went over my tongue like clear water, but left a whole symphony of flavors and hints of aroma that gave me something to think about instead of whether I was about to die, and, more important, how much I hated waiting.

Kragar seemed to appreciate it as much as I did; Deragar might have, too, but if so he hid it well.

I stopped after two cups, because having my mind foggy wouldn’t be a good idea. Then I stood up. “Okay,” I said. “I’m heading out.”

“It’s still pretty early,” he said. “I mean, if you really are planning to get there exactly on time.”

“I have a stop to make on the way.”

“All right,” said Kragar. “Good luck.”

I took most of the coin I had left and set it aside with a note telling Deragar it was his. It was a lot, but he’d earned it. And soon, I’d be able to get at my own bank account. Or not.

I slung the euphonium case over my shoulder.

I made sure the lockpick was where it should be, and that I had the flask, the orange, the ring, the hollow knife, the glass ball, the wand, and the egg. I was wearing the cloak. I went through every weapon I was carrying, again, one at a time, to see they were accessible and that I remembered where they were.

I took the secret passage for what would almost certainly be the last time, and I didn’t let myself think a good-bye to my old lab as I passed it by.

If I lived through this, I decided, first order of business was going to be some new clothes-something that fit better, and looked better. Yeah, that’s what I’d do.

No, a good meal first. Maybe Valabar’s. Certainly Valabar’s.

Focus, Vlad. Task at hand and all that. Worry about later, later.