Gene Wolfe - The Wizard

It gave me an idea, and I filched a lump of hard soap from the kitchen, whittled a soap-pencil, and wrote on the mirror, “Your thoughts—our lives,” first in the character of Aelfrice, and up and down the sides in the runes of Skai. Returning to my cell with stolen blankets, I slept again; and if dreams haunted my sleep, they were the merciful sort.

Underground as I was, I had no way of marking the rising of the sun; but I heard new gaolers come, and heard them call and search for Fiach, and judged that it was morning. I rose and asked one for warm water and a towel. He hesitated but at last refused.

“In that case, I’ll get them for myself,” I said.

He laughed and hurried off to rejoin the search; when he was well away I went to the gaolers’ room, drew water from their cistern, warmed it on their fire, and carried it to one of the cells reserved for nobility. The gaoler’s room had yielded a clean tunic I used as a towel; I washed with these and with the soap that had served me for a pencil, returned to my old cell, and carried my clean straw to my new one.

My window was small and high. Yet what a difference it made! Fresh air and winter sunshine found their way in; and although it was cold, the whole dungeon was as cold if not colder. Wrapped in a blanket, I was not uncomfortable.

Furthermore, I could see out by standing upon the basin. There was little to see but frozen, snow-covered mud and an occasional pig, but I watched these with some interest.

Aside from Manasen’s servant, Uri was my first visitor. I called and she responded at once, standing very straight and meeting my gaze with frightened eyes. “You might be with Queen Disiri, Lord. Shall I guide you?”

I shrugged. “Equally, Queen Disiri might be with me.”

“She is a queen, Lord.”

“And I’m just an ordinary kid from America.”

She looked more frightened than ever. “You are a knight, Lord. A knight of Mythgarthr.”

“More than that. I am one of the Valfather’s knights.”

“I know n-nothing of that, Lord. As you say.”

“I thought that when I had delivered her message to King Arnthor, Disiri would come for me. I lay in my cell waiting for her, and I hoped to see her this morning. I washed, and dressed, all in the hope she’d come.”

“Y-yes, Lord.”

“Is there unrest in Aelfrice that might detain her? The rise of another like Setr?”

“I know of none, Lord.”

“I embraced her when I was at Redhall. It can’t have been long in the time of Aelfrice, a day or two at most.”

“Less, Lord. Come with me to Aelfrice, and we will see. I fear the queen but you will protect me, I know.”

I shook my head. “We played together as children, Uri. Disiri and me. I remember now.”

Her voice was tender. “Do you, Lord?”

“I do.” Until that moment I had not known I remembered. “I thought they wiped those memories away, Uri, but they only hid them under the message. She had a palace, and big trees were its towers. Her garden lay around them, a garden of wildflowers, mosses, little springs, and rivulets. I was stronger than she was, but I was careful to take no advantage of it, and she punished me when she was displeased, striking me with her little hand.” I laughed at the memory. “It was like being kicked by a bunny, but if I giggled she’d threaten me with her guards, Moss-men with swords who watched over us. They’d have killed me if she ordered it, but she never did.”

“You will not ask me to carry a message to her, will you, Lord? Baki could do it. They would not harm her.”

“I drank Baki’s blood once.”

“I r-remember, L-Lord.”

“She said it would heal me, Uri, and it did. How would my life had been different if I hadn’t drunk Baki’s blood?”

“I cannot say, Lord. These questions—you are wiser than I. If you called me to trouble me with questions, I must endure it. But is there no other way I can serve you?”

I told her then that I was concerned for Cloud and Gylf. I asked her to find them, to free them if they desired it, and report back when she had done it.

My next visitor came so soon after Uri had gone that I wondered whether Uri had not fetched her. It was Morcaine, but she did not appear from the shadows as at Redhall; she came as any other might, save that she was accompanied by men-at-arms. These were not dead, but hard-featured axmen in brigandines and helmets who feared her as much as the gaolers feared them.

She sent five to each end of the corridor, so neither they nor the gaolers could hear us. “This was none of my doing, Sir Able. No revenge of mine.”

I said I had never supposed it was.

“You refused me at Redhall. I’ve offered love to few men. Only two have declined.” She laughed; it was beautiful and empty. “Can you guess the other? Answer, clerk!”

“No, Your Highness.”

“You’re a miserable liar. He was much better. Do you imagine that resentment smolders and flares within this fair bosom?” She pressed her hand to her stomach.

From her breath and her flushed cheeks, it was brandy that smoldered and flared there. I said, “Your Highness is too good a woman for that.”

“You’ve no notion.” She paused. “You might overpower me, ravish me, and escape in my clothes. We’re of a height.”

“I would never do such a thing, Your Highness.”

“You’d rape a peasant girl—you all do it. What’s the difference? It might save your life.”

“No, Your Highness.”

“I’d have to lace you up in back, but I would if the ravishing went well. I’ve been told that many men fantasize about lying with a woman of royal blood.”

“As do I, Your Highness, though you are not the woman.”

Morcaine laughed. “Neither is she. You’ll find out.”

Not wishing to contradict her, I bowed.

“I’ll have you yet. You’ll see. When I’ve finished with you, you’ll crawl, begging me to take you back.” Her eyes shone. “Then I’ll remind you of this. I’ll make you bring me the head of the Man in the Moon, and when you do, I’ll refuse it and mock you.”

She took my chin in her right hand. “Unless the Aelf try to feed me to another dragon, the little sons of worms. Then I’ll scream oh-so-prettily and you’ll kill him for me and die again. You’re dead, you know.”

Although she still held my chin, I managed to nod.

“That Valkyrie’s kiss did it. Did you know that? It’s an act of mercy. They don’t take you unless you’re too badly hurt to live. And now—” Quite suddenly she kissed me, wrapping me in her long arms, her tongue gliding through my mouth and halfway down my throat. I fell to the straw, and she said, “Now you know how we feel.”

I managed to say that I did not think I was capable of making any woman feel the way I felt then.

“Stand up!” She motioned imperiously for me to rise. “I’m going to ask my brother to free you. That’s one of the things I came to tell you. I doubt he will. He doesn’t like being told what a twisted little scoundrel he is, especially by the Aelf. The Aelf were our nurses—but you know that.”

I was getting to my feet; she crouched beside me, surprising me again. “He caught little fish and killed them in ugly ways. Sometimes I helped him. They punished us for it, and he’s never forgiven them. You dead obey me, Able. I bring you all to heel, even you difficult cases.”

“I’m eager to obey, Your Highness.”

“But I doubt that he’ll free you, even for me.” She warmed my hand between her own, and seemed to want me to thrust it between her breasts, though I did not. “You may have to wait ‘til I’m queen. You’ll be grateful then. Very grateful, because this is a terrible place and I’ll make you mine, and lie with you ‘til no part of you can stand, and cast you away, and send you after the phoenix’s egg. You’ll bring it, and beg and crawl.” She belched. “And crawl, and beg, and in the end I’ll take you back and we’ll go where nobody knows us, young lovers forever.”