Joshua Simon - Forgotten Soldiers

Since our childhood, Ava gravitated toward horses when she needed time to think, relax, or just to be alone. I never understood it. She hated riding the animals, and the feeling toward her was mutual. She broke an arm once when one of the beasts threw her from its back. Face-to-face however, it seemed neither could get enough of the other.

The horse she petted moved away as I approached, turning its nose up at me for intruding. Unlike my sister, my relationship with the animals was strictly business.

“Took you long enough to come after me,” she said without facing me.

I leaned on the fence next to her. “Thought I’d give you some time to think.”

“Don’t lie to me. I can smell the ale on you, big brother.”

I snorted. “All right. You got me. So, I guess you’re worried about what’s going to happen with you and the High Mages? I was thinking we could go see them together. Just let me do the talking and make sure you look ashamed of yourself. You don’t even have to mean it.”

“You mean how we used to handle Pa?”

“Why not? No High Mage can intimidate me as much as the old man’s stare used to.”

She laughed. “That’s true. But that’s not going to be necessary.”

I cocked my head.

“I spoke to them already. Apologized for what happened with the recruit and everything. They actually seemed to think I meant it.”

I started. “Seriously? You apologized?”

“It was the only way that I knew they would listen to what I had to say.”

“Oh?”

She faced me wearing a nervous expression. Though she was a woman grown, right then she reminded me of the little girl I used to play in the mud with.

“I asked for them to take me on as an apprentice.” She paused, thin lips pressed together as she let her words sink in. “They accepted me much quicker than I thought they would. I’m honestly not sure if I even needed to apologize first. I wish I would have known that because I wouldn’t have bothered with it. They heard all the details about how we killed the Geneshan Master Sorcerer. Apparently, they couldn’t ignore my talents any longer, regardless of my pissy attitude. Their words, not mine. I leave with them tomorrow for Hol.”

Hol, Turine’s capital, where both the king and the Council of High Mages reside, held a quarter of the nation’s population. It had been a dream of ours as kids to visit the place one day. I don’t think either of us had ever expected to really make it there.

“What about home? Didn’t you hear what I said? We can leave.”

“I’m not deaf.”

“I don’t understand. We’ve been talking about returning to Denu Creek nearly every day since we were forced into the army.”

She shook her head. “No. You talked about going home. I just listened. Personally, I’d rather this war go on for another ten years if it meant I didn’t have to go back.”

I blinked. “I can’t believe I just heard that.”

“Seriously? Ignore the alcohol and clear your head, big brother. The memories of our youth aren’t exactly fond ones. At least not the ones outside of our family. How many times did I get picked on? How many times did you get into fights trying to protect me? Gods, even after my talent manifested, it didn’t get any better. Sure, no one hit me or made fun of me to my face, but I still saw the looks cast my way. I noticed how the girls excluded me from their little get togethers while the boys acted like I was some kind of freak. I don’t want to return to that. And despite Ma and Pa saying it would get better when we all got older, it never did.”

“But what about Lasha and the kids? Don’t you want to know your niece and nephew?”

Ava smiled. “Lasha is going to be too busy making up for lost time with her husband to worry about me. And as far as Myra and Zadok go, they’ll both be better off seeing me through your rose-colored eyes than to learn the truth face-to-face.”

I shook my head, unable to believe what I was hearing.

However, what she said did make sense.

Life had been hard for her, far more than for me. Part of it had been her personality, but most of it had related to things outside of her control, like sorcery. In a small town like Denu Creek, folks acted as if you were cursed to have a talent for such things. On the other hand, my resistance made some people think I had been blessed by the very gods who cursed Ava as a way to keep my wild sister under control.

“You know they’ll make you wear robes,” I said, gesturing to her leathers.

Unlike every other mage, Ava refused to wear the traditional garb associated with one of talent. She thought the attire looked ridiculous unless you were an old man pushing a hundred. I agreed, but still liked to give her a hard time about it.

She scowled. “We’ll see about that.”

“What about me?” I asked, serious once more.

“What about you?”

“Are we going to see each other again?”

She chuckled. “I’m not dead. You can come to Hol any time to visit me. I’d love to show you around. You can even bring the family if you aren’t sick of them after a month of being home.”

A tight smile came to my lips as I tried to hide my sadness. I could tell by the look on her face that we both knew that wouldn’t happen. After a month, I’d be trying to get settled back into a routine at the farm, catching up on all that had happened from our uncle who I had tasked to help Lasha out while we were gone. Once I fell back into that routine, the chances of me leaving for weeks on end would be slim.

“Yeah, that’s not a bad idea,” I said, lying.

It didn’t make me feel any better, but maybe it did for her.

* * *

Ava and I parted a short while later when a High Mage-one of her new tutors, I presumed-interrupted us for something that he considered important. A part of me wanted to slam my fist into his face for not refusing my sister’s request to go to Hol. But I refrained. Ava and I weren’t children anymore, and I had to let her make her own decisions. I needed to respect her decision, regardless of how much it hurt to do so.

The weight of my conversation with Ava had one positive in that it sobered me up.

Losing her. Losing half my unit. Winning the war. Winning my freedom. With everything that had happened, I felt as emotionally drained as I did physically fatigued. Even still, I knew sleep wouldn’t come any time soon so I walked around camp again.

Like a moth to a candle, I drifted toward blazing bonfires off in the distance, careful not to get too close to them. The bonfires were not fueled by wood, but by mounds of flesh. No officer wanted death to linger so close to their army lest all the disease that came with it spread among the survivors.

I stopped fifty yards upwind from the hellish inferno, near a pile of armor and weapons stripped from the corpses. Men stoked the flames licking at the naked bodies.

If there had ever been a sight to damage the allure of war, this was it.

“Gods, you left us for this?”

I turned at the sound of Hamath’s voice.

“No. Though it smells better here than downwind of your feet.”

He laughed. “Talked to Ava, then?”

I nodded. “She’s moving on to Hol. The High Mages are taking her on as an apprentice. Our successful mission really impressed them.”

“I’m sorry. Really.”

“Thanks.”

We didn’t say much else for some time, watching body after body smolder and burn.

“Crazy, isn’t it?” I asked.

“What is?”

I gestured. “All of this. How many soldiers will be forgotten? One turn of the blade or stab of an arrow separates the living from the dead. They could have been here watching our bodies dumped onto the fire, rather than the other way around.”