Gareth Williams - A Dark, Distorted Mirror. Volume 5 - Among the Stars, like Giants. Part 5 - The Three–Edged Sword

"Yes. They are prepared."

"Are you nervous?"

"No. I am oddly calm. Are you?"

"Terrified."

"Perhaps you could be the God of Terror."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Like everything else, a little of both."

"There is danger. Remember." l o

Dexter reeled beneath the onslaught of sheer.... wrongness. The very air seemed thick and heavy and poisonous. Blood filled his mouth and his eyes and his senses. Blood filled his whole being. b e

Talia was motionless. As he looked at her through a thin veil of crimson, Dexter thought she looked like a statue, a statue constructed of blood and pain. y u

The creature looming above her was simply looking around. It seemed to be receiving information from its senses, not the pitiful five or six that humans possessed, but hundreds of senses, every one created for a single purpose. s y

"There is danger," the Vindrizi hissed again. "Remember." o u

The words were thick and hollow and emotionless. Or perhaps that was just the way Dexter heard them. w i

He slumped forward, on his knees. This creature, this thing, this God, was so awesomely, unutterably alien. He had known Minbari, had fought against them for so long and even fallen in love with one. He had known Narns and Centauri and Brakiri. He had met a Pak'ma'ra and thought it was the most revolting thing he had ever seen. l l

But this was more alien than any of them. This was ancient and powerful and other. The very earth and air seemed to revolt beneath it and shy away from its touch. The ground beneath the Box was growing black and twisted, a foul smell rising from it. o b

A torrent of blood filled his mouth. e y

Dexter felt the creature look at him, look at him with those countless extra senses. He felt his memories being opened and violated - his mother's death, his first kiss, his first drink, cheating at cards, kissing Talia, killing Delenn. u s

If he could put a human emotion to it, and he knew that even attempting such a thing was an absurdity, he would say that the creature was amused by the sheer insignificance of his existence. He was nothing, not even an insect. He had thought he was something more, something special.... y o

"There is danger. Remember." u w

When all he was was a drop of water screaming 'look at me' to the other drops of water. i l

A single voice in a multitude of voices that together made up nothing more than an infinitesimal whisper in the universe. Everyone he had ever met, ever heard of, that had ever been alive. l o

They were all nothing. b e

He sank further forward, smelling the foulness of his own blood hitting the ground. He felt as if his mouth were full of his own vomit, his nostrils filled with the scent of his own excrement. y u

"There is danger. Remember." s y

Head lolling on his shoulders, thick and heavy and empty, he looked up, his eyes bleeding simply from looking at the creature, at the monarch of this tiny and pathetic kingdom of ants. o u

"There is danger. Remember." w i

That was when Talia screamed, when a brilliant burst of light filled the room, and when his mind suddenly became a great deal clearer. l l

I was not there when G'Kar went to speak with the group Ambassador Lethke had gathered. Sometimes I wish I had been, but if I had gone, maybe I would never have left that room, and maybe these words would never have been written. My life is built on such flimsy and fragile choices and coincidences that sometimes I think I must have been blessed by some higher power, that my every breath is part of some grander scheme.

Then in my arrogance I stop, and realise that the same is true of every other living thing in existence.

It was not my choice not to go to that meeting. It was G'Kar's, and of course it was understandable. He was going to speak to some of the most powerful people in the Alliance, in the galaxy even. His words could affect the entire future of the Alliance. He had no wish for a child to accompany him.

But to that child, his decision seemed painful and treacherous. He had left me alone with a hard–faced, stern–looking woman called Na'Toth, who seemed too busy checking weapons and contacting ships outside the station to worry about me.

Tired and upset and a little angry, I waited in the corner of the room.

Everything I know about that meeting I heard later. I have heard some truly horrific rumours, some horrible reports.

I believe every one of them.

L'Neer of Narn, Learning at the Prophet's Feet.

There was silence for a moment as G'Kar stood framed in the doorway. Lethke did not know what to say, and he imagined everyone else was in the same position. o b

G'Kar looked.... both weaker and stronger. He was frail and the hasty bandage across his eye did little to hide the damage that had clearly been done. The effects of his imprisonment showed on his body. e y

But there was also a sort of glow on him, and his bearing radiated a vigour that belied his fatigue. Here was a wounded man, almost broken, someone who has stared death in the face and emerged with a new purpose, moving in that one perfect moment between weakness and strength. u s

It was G'Kael who spoke first. He moved forward and bowed his head. "Welcome back, Ha'Cormar'ah G'Kar," he said softly. y o

If G'Kar hesitated, it was only for an instant. He bowed his head likewise and said, "It is good to be back, Ambassador." u w

He looked around the room and Lethke felt the power of that one–eyed gaze fall upon him. He felt so ashamed and weak. Surely he could have done a little more, done something, anything, to have averted or forewarned or eased what had happened. He closed his eyes, and the gaze of judgment faded, moving on. i l

"May I sit?" G'Kar asked. l o

"Of course," Lethke replied. "You are most welcome here." b e

"I do not think so," came the reply. G'Kar sat down awkwardly, wincing slightly. "Forgive me for remaining seated while I speak, but it is easier for me this way." y u

"Should you not be in the medical facility?" G'Kael asked. "Your wounds look...." s y

"My wounds are as nothing compared to those of our people, or of this Alliance," G'Kar replied sharply. G'Kael bowed his head, chastened. "I heard of this meeting from Na'Toth and came to express my view. Not that of the Narn people, or the Narn Government, or the Rangers, or the Alliance. o u

"I come here to express the opinion of G'Kar, a single man." w i

Lethke sat down himself, cursing his lack of courage and foresight. He should have seen something. l l

"I watched as this Alliance was born. It came about from mutual need, yes, from the ruins of Kazomi Seven and the image of a hundred planets ruined in the same way. The threat to us all was very real and very powerful and we knew if we did not unite against it we would all be consumed. o b

"Perhaps that was our mistake, leaving our birthplace. On Kazomi Seven we only had to walk outside or glance out of a window to see some legacy of what had happened there, of what our Alliance was formed to oppose. Here everything seems so far away, little more than a memory. How soon we all forget the real truth. e y

"Just as soon we will forget Narn. If some have their way, war will begin because of this, and the Narn homeworld will be forgotten. u s

"The Alliance was built for peace. I believe in peace. I saw my world die, and I have spoken with those who have experienced the same thing. All are shocked and paralysed. All have different beliefs and opinions. Mine are shared by myself alone. Everyone disagrees with me, but I cannot help but continue to believe in the truth of my views. y o