Harry Harrison - The Stainless Steel Rat Joins the Circus

"I was feeling guilty about causing him that heart attack," I said. "I guess I shouldn't be." I smacked my lips dryly. "If Angelina is as thirsty as I am she needs liquid aid."

"Good as done. A wine and a beer in that order?" Bolivar asked as he went to the bar. We nodded agreement. James joined him and poured a beer for himself.

Then we all raised our glasses on high.

"Can anyone think of a toast?" Angelina asked.

There was silence until I coughed. They all looked at me.

"Of course. It is a quite simple one. To my family. To missing wives soon to be joined with their distant husbands.

Then-a long life and a happy one for each and every one of us."

We drank to that.

"And a year's vacation for your mother and I," I added.

"I don't believe it," James added.

"Nor do I," James added.

"But it is true," Angelina said. "We had a long talk about it. No work and plenty play. All calls from Inskipp go unanswered. The Special Corps can take care of itself. We live off of our savings and resist all schemes, honest or dishonest, to add more credits to our kitty."

Both boys were dumbfounded. James gurgled and spoke for them both.

"And-at the end of the year…"

"Why we start another year of doing exactly the same thing," Angelina said, smiling sweetly.

The twins looked at me and I nodded patient agreement. "Look, boys, I have saved the universe just once too often. I have been elected president, traveled in time, defeated alien races, robbed countless banks. The time has come, I do believe, to rest on my laurels." I thought a moment. "There is of course one bit of work I might do …"

"You never!" Angelina said, quite angrily.

"Don't misunderstand! Not crookery. I meant I might write down my memoirs. No one will believe me of course."

"Then disguise them as fiction!"

"Of course-what a splendid idea. And I even have a title. The first volume shall be titled-The Stainless Steel Rat. With plenty more volumes to come."

Bolivar rubbed his jaw in thought. "You know, I have always had a secret ambition. After lunar exploration, that is. My newfound expertise in banking will be of great help. I have always felt, deep down, that-I wanted to be a publisher. Can I start with your book, Dad?"

"Of course. Draw up the contract and make sure that the advance on signing is a big one."

"Good as done!"

He began to enthusiastically punch contract details into his pocket computer. James collected the empty glasses and went to get another round of drinks. Angelina leaned over and took my hand.

"You do mean it, Jim, about retiring?"

"I certainly do. If I had any doubts before, this mess with Chaise has washed them away. There are lots of worlds out there. Let us go out and enjoy them."

"Those are the most beautiful words that I think I have ever heard." Then she dug into her purse and took something out and passed it over to me.

"Found that in your pocket. Want to keep it?"

I looked at it and shook my head. "What in the world would I do with a stainless steel rat?"

"Then I'll have it," she said, and put it away. "I'll lock it in a box and keep it handy. Then, whenever I am feeling depressed, or out of sorts, or worried or just anything except just plain happy, I will take it out and look at it. To remind myself of all the fun that we have had." She smiled around at her family, leaned over and gave Gloriana a little scratch between the ears.

"And to also remind myself that we are all so very lucky that we came out of all of our various adventures and escapades without permanent damage."

We drank to that as well.

At peace.