C. Murphy - Demon Hunts

Maturity, I decided, sucked. On the other hand, the thought brought a warble of laughter into my song, and the woman on the pathway looked up at the sound. Something about her brightened, like she recognized laughter, and she came forward more eagerly, until I could see her clearly. She was still inhuman, but no longer in the way she’d been. No longer disjoined or falling apart, no longer a slavering monster of teeth and claws. She looked thin, not just physically but spiritually, like she’d almost faded away. I wasn’t sure if the storm had done that to her, or if her attempts to break free had, but I was inclined to blame the storm.

I waited until she was only a few feet away, Raven whacking her on the head with his wings, before I set my drum aside so I could take up the spear and get to my feet. The rattlesnake finally uncoiled from his warm spot and slithered forward, wrapping around the woman’s ankles. She looked down with alarm, and I shook my head. “It’s all right. He’s a friend. A guide, just like the raven. And I’m…”

For the first time I could remember, I wanted to hand over my full name, freely given. I wondered what that meant about this woman, about her fate, and what it meant about me, but I smiled and said, “I’m Siobhan. Siobhan Grainne MacNamarra Walkingstick, and I’ve come to take you home.”

It sounded like such a gentle promise that it nearly broke my heart. I knotted my fingers around the spear’s haft. “Home isn’t back into the world you knew. I’m sorry. I don’t know anything about you, but if we understand what happened, I’m afraid you’ve been lost to the cold for a long time. I think your body is probably dead, and I can’t…”

She swayed a little, but stepped closer, like she was listening hard. I took a deep breath. “I can’t let you go again unless I’m sure you’ll return to your body. If there’s no body to go back to, I’m afraid you’ll become the wendigo again, trying to break free from the storm. I can’t…let you do that. Too many people have already died. All I can do is bring you out of the storm and…set you free.” It was such a stupid phrase. Free of what? Hope? Life? Chances? Those weren’t things people sought to be set free from. We tried to escape prisons and bad situations, not gambles for survival.

Then again, if there was a worse situation than becoming a wendigo, I never wanted to encounter it. I would want to be freed from that, if for some hideous reason I ever became such a thing.

On the other hand, I wanted to be very, very clear about the limited options I was offering this woman, and so, voice low, I spelled it out. “You’re going to die. It’s the best I can offer you. But you’ll die here, under the red sun, instead of out there in the storm. I wish I could give you more.”

Something in her eyes suggested she still had words. Had the capacity to speak, but chose not to. A gift, maybe, for me. Something to make it easier, a pretense that she was nothing more than the animal she’d become. That was a kindness, and a lie: it took a thinking creature to do what she did next. She reached for the spear’s neck, controlling it, and I let her. Let her bring it all the way down until the black wooden tip rested between her ribs, a certain kill shot. She lifted her gaze to mine, gave me a brief smile, and braced herself.

This was not how soul retrievals were supposed to end. They were meant to be a reunion of body and spirit, not a violent finish, not even if that finish was the closest thing to peace a lost soul might find. I hated it. There had to be another way. A promise I could make, a magic I could build. There had to be. The woman’s gaze was clear on mine, waiting.

I whispered, “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

And shoved.

The Lower World disappeared in a silent rush, leaving me standing cold and numb in the company of mortals. My spear was unbloodied, but I could feel the wendigo’s weight against it, for all that I’d left her spirit behind in another realm. I also felt questions building up in the air, everyone around me wanting answers and not quite bold enough to ask for them. I was grateful for that. Grateful enough, in fact, that I reached for magic and brought down the power circles, hoping their fall would keep silence in place.

Corvallis inhaled sharply, and Coyote came to my side, everything about his presence uncertain. I offered the spear, and he took it cautiously. “Jo…”

I shook my head, trying to will him into quietness. I wasn’t ready to talk. I didn’t think I ever would be, even if I knew I’d have to sooner rather than later. Later: a little later, at least, because as he took the spear a whisper rifled the distant trees, and Herne was released into our midst.

He nodded once toward Coyote, whose hands fisted around the spear as he thrust it forward sideways, clearly trying to rid himself of it. Herne shook his head, then turned his attention to me, putting a branchy finger to his lips as I struggled to put a thought together aloud.

I hadn’t needed to ask. Like he’d known what I wanted, he brought us home.

Laurie was right. The forest went all twisty. There was no better way to describe it: a violent twist of earth and trees, and we were a dozen yards from the hotel’s back door instead of out in the far reaches of nowhere. I reached for a tree to steady myself as the others scattered for the hotel’s warmth, safety and normalcy. I wanted to go with them. I wanted, really, to go close myself away somewhere silent and just be for a while. Just try to wrap my mind around the wendigo’s death, and how I felt it as a loss in a way I’d felt nothing else over the past year. I wanted to step out of time and be safe and quiet until I felt ready to face the world again.

A breath of humor rushed through my lips. While that would be nice, it had no basis in reality. I stepped away from the hotel, closer to the forest. “Herne?”

The god stopped, and in his stillness was nothing more than a tree, all black branches in the moonlight. I waited for him to say something, then realized he wouldn’t and blurted, “There was one other person we lost today, one of my friend’s agents. Is he still out there?”

“I brought everyone who still walked the forest to you. If he is missing, there was no life to be found.”

I slumped. “I was afraid of that. Okay. Thank you.”

The tree bent a little, creaking as it did, and then was nothing but a tree, Herne’s presence from it gone. I stood there alone for a moment, gazing at where he’d been, then twitched as Sara called my name. “What was that?”

I turned toward her, at a loss for anything but the truth. “That was…I thought you’d gone inside. It was a forest god. Sara, I’m sorry. He says your agent is dead.”

She stared at me a long moment, then passed a hand over her face. “Yeah. You said he probably was.” Another brief eternity passed before she shook herself. “All right. Thanks for telling me. You…you should go home for a while, Joanne.”

Cold, not quite so bad as the storm, but abrupt and uncomfortable, clenched my gut. Sara scowled, reading denial in my face. “I’m serious. If this is what you’re doing…you should go home. See your dad. Talk to the elders. You should do that.”

Cold turned to ice and cracked in my voice. “Is he still there? Do you see him?”

“No, I live out here, but I go back sometimes. He was there last summer, anyway.”

“You live here? In Seattle?” That was an easier thought than my dad back in North Carolina. “Maybe we should…” I thought of Lucas, and watching Sara’s expression, said, “Or maybe not. I’ll think about North Carolina.”

Sara nodded and looked away, neither of us sure what to say next. We weren’t friends, not anymore, but we were maybe less antagonistic than we’d been for years. Funny how rivalries could remain, even through time and distance and living only in memory. I didn’t want to leave us with history as the last thing between us, and blurted, “What’re you going to tell your bosses?”