E.C Tubb - Iduna

"Earl!" Gustav was at her side, his tone urgent. "Come back, Earl! Come back!"

Back from a dream in which he had tumbled through air to crash on waiting rocks. But it had been no dream and the rocks and the impact had been real. As real as any rocks could ever be-and the death had been as genuine.

"Earl?" Gustav was staring at him, the Matriarch at his side. She looked paler than Dumarest remembered, older, her eyes containing a bruised hurt. She said quickly before Gustav could speak again, "Did you see her? Iduna, did you meet?"

He saw the smile irradiate her face as he nodded.

"And?"

"She sends you her regards, my lady." Then, adding to the lie, "Her regards and her fondest love and affection for you both."

Chapter Twelve

"You met," said Kathryn. "You actually saw her and talked to her and played with her?" Her voice held an aching envy. "Tamiras, you hear that?"

"I hear it." The man selected a fruit from the bowl before him and carefully removed the rind. "I hear it but that isn't to say I believe it."

"Tamiras!"

"I am a scientist and, as such, tend to be skeptical. If that is a fault then I am guilty." Juice ran from the sections he parted with deft fingers. Lifting one to his mouth he added, "And Dumarest has reason to please you."

"And reason to lie?"

She glanced at Dumarest where he sat at the table. He, the scientist, Gustav and herself were alone. The meal had been a good one, meats and wines and fine breads to put energy into his body and flesh on his bones. A celebration, Gustav had called it, a time for them to learn all he had discovered. But if Dumarest had lied… ?

He saw the tension of her hand where it rested beside her plate, the reflected light flash from gems as her fingers closed in an unconscious betrayal of her doubt and anger.

To Tamiras he said, flatly, "Are you calling me a liar?"

"A liar?" The man shrugged and ate another segment of fruit. "No, my friend, I do not, but false impressions can often seem real. Let us review the situation. You were forced to enter the Tau. Subconsciously you feared the penalty of failure because in all sentient life forms the need to survive is paramount. So you carried out your mission with complete success. Or you are convinced you did-you appreciate the difference?"

That and more. Dumarest glanced at the hand lying beside the plate, thin, blotched, but it held his life. If the Matriach doubted his sincerity a word would send him to execution. But how to erase the doubts Tamiras had sown?

He said, "I saw Iduna lying on her bed and that is all. You agree?"

"I don't understand what point you are trying to make."

"Is it so hard? I never saw her as a child. I wasn't even on this world., My only contact with her was when I was taken to see her."

"So?"

"So let us talk of her childhood. She had friends; a bear, a toad, a doll fashioned in the likeness of a clown. She had a room with papered walls and the paper bore a design of fish and shells. She held parties for her friends and used a service adorned with small flowers with blue petals and scarlet leaves." He heard the sharp inhalation of indrawn breath from where Kathryn sat. Without looking at her he added, "And she was fond of small, iced cakes."

"What child isn't?" Tamiras shrugged. "What you say proves nothing."

"All of it? The dolls? The room?"

"You could have picked that up from gossip. The guards-"

"Have never seen Iduna's old room." Kathryn was sharp in her interruption. Looking at Dumarest she said, "How do you know?"

"I saw it." Dumarest gestured at the table, the articles on its polished surface. "The room, the paper, the service, the dolls-all were as real as the things before us."

"And Iduna? You saw her? You saw her!"

"Yes, my lady."

"But could not pursuade her to return," said Tamiras dryly. "May I dare to ask why you failed?"

"She didn't want to."

"Didn't want to return? To her home? Her loving parents?"

"No."

"And you couldn't make her? A child?"

"A god!" Dumarest glanced at Gustav, spoke to the Matriarch. "That is what Iduna is now-the supreme ruler of her universe. A goddess, if you want to be precise, and who can force a goddess to do anything against her will? What she wants-is. Can you even begin to understand what that means? To have the world in which you live exactly to your liking. To have it populated by those who care for you. Who exist only because of you. To want for nothing. To have no fear. To have no pain, no tears, no sadness. To be free of regret. To be innocent of guilt."

"Heaven," whispered Gustav. "A place in which all that is supposed to be. Could she have found it?"

Kathryn was more direct. "Is she happy?"

"Yes, my lady."

"A child, alone-"

"With everything to live for," emphasized Dumarest. "With all the toys she could ever want. All the companions she could ever need. A girl as happy as anyone could ever be." He saw the glint of reflected light as the curved fingers relaxed and knew the immediate danger was past. "She is content, my lady-that I swear. There is no need for you to torment yourself with imagined terrors. No need for further tears."

But they were there just the same, dimming her eyes, pearls of relief which dampened her cheeks.

Gustav, watching, poured and passed fresh goblets of wine. An act designed to attract attention to himself, the new subject he broached; one of lesser emotional content. To Dumarest he said, "Tamiras has explained how the Tau must hold the mental energy-pattern of the ego but why did the others die or go insane?"

"Fear."

"Just that?"

"It was enough." Dumarest stared into his goblet and saw dim shapes reflected in the ruby surface. "We all contain the terrors we fear the most. The others entered the Tau expecting danger and found it. They anticipated horror and it waited for them; things of nightmare created by their own minds, spawned by their own imaginations. The battles they fought were with themselves and were impossible to win. So they were defeated. Their minds," he explained. "They lost their minds. Their egos, trapped in the Tau, lost all sense of direction or purpose."

"But not Iduna." Tamiras helped himself to another fruit. Like the juice it contained his tone held acid. "She, naturally, was immune."

"She was young."

"And?"

"Young," repeated Dumarest. "A child accustomed to illusion and make-believe. One to whom fantasy was a normal part of life as it is with every child. She could accept what drove others insane."

"As you could?" Juice dribbled from his fingers and Tamiras dabbled them in a bowl of scented water before drying them on a napkin. "I find it hard to accept you as a child."

"I became one. I thought as one and felt as one and so entered the Tau."

And became a god with his own universe and his own incredible power.

Candles had been set for decoration and Dumarest stared into a dancing flame seeing in the lambent glow the woman he had left, the love she had given him, the spite she had displayed. Had he really existed in her world or had she occupied his? Had the game of war sprung from his mind or hers? Was she even now ruling from her throne in her castle with the facsimile of himself she had created at her side? Had she ever really accepted him as being more than a figment of her imagination?

"Earl?" Gustav was looking at him from where he sat and Dumarest glanced away from the dancing flame. "The Tau," said Gustav when sure he had gained attention. "What is it, Earl? Did you discover that?"

"For certain, no, but I think it must be a toy."

"What?"

"A toy-and a trap." Dumarest looked at Tamiras. "One used by a so-called friend to gain revenge. An expert in his field who knew exactly what he was doing."

"A trap?" Tamiras shook his head, outwardly calm, indifferent, as again he dipped his fingers into the scented water. "You talk like a fool. The thing is alien, that is obvious, but a trap? For whom?"