James Axler - Ice and Fire

Rick had begun to mutter to himself again, looking around, stumbling in the ruts in the road. He shook his head in disbelief and confusion.

"Snakefish, California. John Doe, Main Street, Anytown, United States. Ice-cream parlor over there. Sixty-four flavors. Drug store. Book shop. Flagpole down the way, outside the town hall. Whoops, I nearly... I've gotta complain to the highways department. Too many potholes... too many to fill the Albert Hall. This is then, but that was now. Or now is then. Todays are the tomorrows that I worried about a hundred years ago." He turned to Ryan with a look of desperate, strained intensity. "I'm not crazy, am I, old friend? New friend? All this is like it was. Not like it is. Is it? Is it like this now?"

"Some places. Not many. This is one of the neatest, cleanest villes I've ever seen. Doesn't mean it's safe, though."

The freezie wiped sweat from his forehead, calming himself. "I know. A man may sit at meat and feel the cold in his groin."

"Sure."

"Beware the smiler with the knife beneath his cloak, Ryan."

"Oh, I always do, Rick. I always do."

Zombie slowed his hog in front of the building with the white-painted flagpole, from which a faded Stars and Stripes fluttered proudly in the pallid sunshine. The rest of the bikers ranged themselves alongside him in what looked like a carefully rehearsed maneuver.

"Baron's hall. He knows you're coming in with us. Just go on in."

A carved wooden sign told them that the building was Snakefish Town Hall, built in 1967 and reconstituted in about the Seventieth Year after the Great Madness.

"I like that," Doc said. "Great Madness. I couldn't have put it any better myself."

They stepped across the sidewalk, up a path that ran between two beds of flowers. Pale yellow rosebushes. The grass had the regular green that came from steady watering. The smell of the roses did valiant battle with the sickly odor of the gas-processing plant they had glimpsed beyond the far end of the main street of the ville.

"This is crazy," Rick mumbled. "I feel like I'm a kid and I'm going to register at the town hall. This is crazy."

Double doors, painted white, swung open at the head of the flight of eight steps and a woman appeared. She was a little over average height, around thirty years old. Black hair bobbed at her shoulders, held in place with a dark purple comb. She wore a black jacket over a cream blouse, and pale fawn riding breeches were tucked into a pair of highly polished, knee-length black leather boots. She smiled at the ragged band.

"Welcome to Snakefish," she pronounced. "Baron Brennan's expecting you. Do come in."

"Who are you, lady?" J.B. asked.

"I'm Carla Petersen. You must be Mr. Dix, from Zombie's description."

Ryan glanced across at the Armorer. It must have been the reflected glow of the soaring sun, but he had the momentary illusion that his old friend was blushing!

They walked through the doors into the coolness of a wide hall with a sweeping staircase that curled up to the second floor. An elderly man in a dark blue uniform with gilt buttons was dozing at a desk near the door.

The woman led the way, heels clacking on the mosaic picture that showed, as far as Ryan could make it out, a girl carrying a sheaf of wheat, rising from the sea with a smile of simpering idiocy on her rosy, dimpled cheeks.

"You lost your wag, I believe, Mr. Cawdor?" Carla Petersen said, pausing on the wide landing for them to catch up. Rick trailed at the rear, panting with the effort of climbing.

"That's right. Three days, up in the hills."

"Where were you coming from?"

"South."

"And you were going?.."

"North."

She smiled with a touch of frost. "Not a man to give too much away, are you, Mr. Cawdor?"

"Man who gives everything away finds he has nothing left for himself."

"True. Very true. Now, just along here. The third door."

Every now and again, throughout the Deathlands, Ryan had stumbled on places where neutron bombs had left buildings virtually untouched. The town hall of Snakefish was like that. Cold stone. Benches padded with worn green leather. Doors that had frosted glass in their top halves. And names painted in almost illegible gold leaf, with their jobs.

"Milius Haldeman, Registrar. Rowena Southwell, School Inspectorate. Crawford Fargo, Highways. Angus Wellson, Divorce Counselor."

She heard him reading the doors. "So many names and civic appointments, Mr. Cawdor. All dead these hundred years. The baron only uses a small part of the hall now. With around two thousand spuls in the ville, the administration is kind of low-key."

She paused in front of a door, much like the others. Except that the gold paint was fresher. Edgar Brennan, Baron.

A voice responded to her brisk knock. "Come in, come in, said the mayor looking bigger and bigger and in did walk..."

Doc caught the wary look of bewilderment on everyone's faces. "Quoting an old poem," he whispered, "not mad."

The office of the baron was huge, with floor-to-ceiling windows on one side that opened onto a balcony and overlooked the desert. There was a threadbare strip of carpet covering a floor of wooden tiles. A massive bookcase ran the length of the wall on the left. But the glass doors were cracked and the shelves only held a half-dozen tattered and spineless volumes. There was a variety of unmatching chairs and a sagging sofa. The room was totally dominated by an enormous mahogany desk, which was buried with piles of paper, folders and files. It was just possible to make out the shadowy figure of Baron Edgar Brennan of Snakefish, lurking behind them.

"Greetings, gentlemen. And ladies. Come in, come in and sit down. Down."

Carla Petersen ran rapidly through the introductions. As with Zombie, Ryan was impressed with the way she remembered all of their names. The only one that she seemed to falter over was J.B. Dix.

They sat down, finding places among the chairs. Miss Petersen perched on the edge of a small table near the window, next to J.B.

"I would sit down as well, but I think I would vanish," Brennan said. "I'm a little deficient in the department of leg length."

Ryan had thought that the baron was already sitting down.

"Lost their wag three days, Edgar. Looking for food and lodging for two or three days before they move on."

"Lost their wag!" Brennan toddled around the desk and leaned against it. "To find a wag is lucky. To lose one smacks of carelessness. How come you lost your wag? Your wag?"

Ryan was so fascinated by the strange appearance of the Snakefish baron that his mind wandered off the question. "Lost?.. Oh, a fire. Lectric short. Fire in the night. Burned out. In the hills."

"Didn't hurt any snakes, did you?"

"No. No, we didn't."

"Good, good, good."

Edgar Brennan was around four feet ten inches tall, a rotund and yet oddly dignified figure. He wore a shirt of dazzling white and a paisley cravat knotted around the throat. He looked to be somewhere in his late sixties. His pants were neatly pressed, his shoes polished to a mirroring gleam. As far as Ryan could see, Brennan wasn't carrying any kind of blaster, which made him kind of unique among barons of Ryan's acquaintanceship.

"We have a few rules hereabouts. Nothing too strict, I hope. Do you have a supply of jack? If you are outlanders here, I expect not. Expect not."

"Trade ammo," J.B. said. "Or mebbe we could work off a trade."

Miss Petersen leaped in. "That would be fine, Mr. Dix, just fine. This ville runs mainly on its supplies of gas. We are not a poor ville. Somewhat the reverse."

"Generous, I would hope. Yes, generous." Brennan's round little face creased into a smile. He gave a throaty chuckle. "We will lend a hand to any weary traveler, will we not, Carla?"

"We will, Edgar, though..."